SXSW 2017 Music Preview

For those of you who actually follow this blog, you know that I typically start posting previews for SXSW at least one month in advance; and that’s typically because there are so many bands that I’m excited about that there is no way I could possibly preview them all in one article. Well let’s just say that I’m happy I didn’t go into debt this year by purchasing a badge as I had to dig super deep just to find some quality acts that were coming to town this March. Now don’t get me wrong, I did eventually find some artists I’m excited about but for the most part this year’s fest feels like it’s a redemption tour for quite a few scrubs out there. I see so many bands like Sleigh Bells and Electric Guest who initially started their careers off on fire but one day went to Marfa, did way too many drugs, and decided to make a Yaz record for their follow up album (and yes I realize how esoteric of a joke that was but I really don’t give a damn). And in making that terrible follow up, they fell off the map a bit and are now trying to recreate some buzz around their name.

So needless to say, I will be splitting my time between seeing the new up and coming acts that are out there and checking out the "veterans" that are still in the game. And of the latter group, I’m most excited to see the former Walkmen crooner Hamilton Leithauser, Sohn, Denzel Curry, Broncho, Temples, and of course Le Butcherettes. The last of which, I’m hoping throws yet another shoe at my head.

But that’s not why you’re here, you’re here to see what’s the new hotness in rock n roll these days and it took me some time but I now realize that those words are now a relative term for today’s youth. I view rock n roll very much the way Sam’s grandparents did in Sixteen Candles. After hearing her scream when she was exposed to Long Duc Dong for the first time, they rolled their eyes and said to each other "Those damn kids and their rock n roll music! Well I’m afraid it’s here to stay!" And you know what? You’re damn right! Rock n Roll should be loud with high pitched screaming attached to it but Sleigh Bells misinterpreted that and just started screaming; they forgot about the music piece of it. But having said that, here’s the best of what’s to come.


HIP HOP
LIZZO – she’s the next coming of Missy Elliott as she’s big boned and proud of it. She sings about feeling herself (not literally) as she looks in the mirror and slaps her own ass for being thick (okay so maybe literally) and she drops rhymes about wearing so much Prada that she’s a Prada G, get it? Her beats are dope and so is her wacky style as she drops a Missy Elliott "Oooh" every now and then just to keep it fresh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjILCNcHevY

THEY. – I know that They. have been around for a while but they have yet to reach their full potential to this point of their careers. This duo from L.A. was originally put on the map with the song they did with Skrillex called Working On It and they eventually followed that up with a hot EP got Nu Religion. Well now it seems as though they are finally ready to bring off-kilter style to the world with the full length version of Nu Religion. I suggest that you get in on these guys before they turn into R, Kelly and start peeing on people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiKqvfT3i68

HONORABLE MENTION – PORTER RAY – he’s been described as the "Prince of Seattle hip hop" but since Macklemore is considered to be the king, that’s not saying much. I do like his song Wet Dreams though as he definitely has potential to get better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUgzjV55MI0

RnB

　
BIBI BOURELLY – I know that every girl out there is going to lose their collective minds over this next statement but Bibi has the feel of becoming the next Queen Bey or Rihanna (hopefully without the herpes and the penchant for cheating). Now clearly she doesn’t have the vocal range of the two mentioned but she certainly has the attitude, the presence, and the street wise lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnugCpTmJE8

KHALID – I don’t quite understand the buzz around this kid but you can just chalk that up to me being old. He sounds like the black Bruce Springsteen on his signature hit American Teen; and trust me when I say that’s not a good thing. Thankfully his other songs aren’t nearly cheesy and they definitely show his potential; it’s just that he’s missing the "soul" piece that you normally get in RnB.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by3yRdlQvzs

BILAL – he’s an uglier version of D’Angelo with his dreads or as Eddie Murphy called them in The Nutty Professor "Damn Reggie (Dave Chappelle) I’ve heard of dreadlocks but shit locks?!?!" He’s the return of Neo Soul with smooth beats; you know, that "there’s no way I’m pulling out tonight" music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgp6-DzZgK0

JAIN – calling her music RnB is kind of a stretch as it’s really more Pop than anything else but anyone who reads this blog knows that I don’t have a Pop section in any of my reviews. Plus her dance hit Mekeba sounds like a collabo between Gwen Stefani and Tracy Chapman, and the last time I checked, Stefani actually did a collabo with Eve, so that’s enough street cred to count as RnB. Her unique voice and style definitely makes her worth checking out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Q_lhgGANc

HONORABLE MENTION – BANKS – she apparently wants to follow you around like a dog that needs water. Or at least that’s what she says in her thumping electronic hit Gemini. At times her voice is aided by technology but when she does break away from the pseudo auto tune, she puts her range on full display. She’s this year’s AlunaGeorge but thankfully she’s a better dresser.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7z-tA9oLPw

ROCK
WARBLY JETS – They may be from L.A. but they clearly want to be British. Their music is a high energy whirlwind that reminds you of the revival of rock days that took place in the early 2000’s. Think Strokes meets Blur.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDVHvirhpKk

LO MOON – I love bands whose music is hard to find but when you finally do unearth it, it totally captures everything you love about SXSW; hearing something that you immediately connect with. This indie prog rock trio reminds you of Grizzly Bear with their slow building beats and melodies and I would certainly expect them to be featured on an ACL stage sometime in the near future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhZdG3R77G0

CHAIN OF FLOWERS – these boys from Wales listened to A LOT of The Cure and Joy Division when they were growing up as they are desperately trying their best to keep the post punk scene alive; and for the most part, I have to say that they are doing a good job of it. If you still have some teenage angst in you, definitely give these blokes a shot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vacg-GoNkqA

LAURA CARBONE – she sounds like she’s the offspring of David Lynch; and with the recent revival of the Twin Peaks franchise, this should provide plenty of fodder for all of you conspiracy theorists out there. Her music sounds like the dark alternative soundtrack to the 80’s rebellion movie The Legend of Billie Jean; a time where getting your first period was some serious business!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07kYylbtHRk

HONORABLE MENTION – FRANKIE ROSE – this is for all of you hipsters out there who loved the Vivian Girls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE56wTNj7J0

SNAIL MAIL – cool, lazy surfer rock. I have a soft spot in my heart for this kind of music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS7xudghUsM

PUNK
IDLES- They are a Scottish punk band that reminds me Black Flag with their odd videos and their aversion to normal life. They hate anyone who has a jobs in particular.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuQG6_evFc8

HIGH WAISTED – they are surf rockers from Brooklyn whose music starts off simple enough but turns into a frenzy by song’s end.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xykiiaV1oZY

HICCUP – not much to say here except that it’s traditional fun punk music. No frills, no thrills but I like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlhnCHalg28

 

Leon Bridges and Shopping

I didn’t quite know what to expect when I went to go see the legendary garage rock band The Sonics a few days ago. I mean this is Austin, so naturally you’d expect a ton of young rich white kids who try their absolute hardest to look poor to gobble up all of the tickets but The Sonics are old, so there was also the chance that I’d see my uncle there rocking his best James Brown outfit while sitting creepily in the corner and sipping on Crown Royal.

I’m just glad that there weren’t a ton of young frat boys there in togas chanting loudly for Louie Louie and attempting to play beer pong on the speakers. What I did see was a nice mixture of hipsters and old white dudes who had their Hawaiian shirts tucked in way too tightly in their super starched Dockers. I thought the point of buying Dockers was that you never had to iron them? Oh well, I can’t give them too hard of a time as I totally see myself wearing the same outfit 30 years from now when Muse comes to play a reunion show at Emo’s during SXSW.

The point of all of this is, reacquainting myself with The Sonics has made me a little bit nostalgic for an era that even my mom was a little kid in. The music and the times were simpler then but that’s not always a good thing; see rising star Leon Bridges. First off let me say that I dig his style, as far as clothing and his hair goes, but musically he adds absolutely nothing to the 50’s and 60’s Rnb genre that he is clearly um…borrowing from. He has a great voice and the music is flawless in its imitation of that era, which is great if all you want is to be reminded of that time and actually have new songs to sing along to. But this is 2015, we want to hear songs that are relevant today. I need to hear songs about getting your girl on the side pregnant and having to tell your main girlfriend about it (Usher) or hear songs about how you beat the rap for peeing on a girl in a video (R. Kelly). I don’t ever see there being a public movement to make Coming Home the next National Anthem. Don’t get me wrong, I like Bridges but I’d never pay money to see him live; at best he’d get some play during a dinner party where I was trying to get some hipster girl to sleep with me afterwards but that’s about it. Actually, no I’d still throw on some 2 Live Crew for that, gotta keep it 100. I rate Leon Bridges as kind of WEAK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTrKkqE9p1o

Next up is Shopping, a fun British post punk band who has simple chords and melodies. They won’t take the world by storm but if you want to hang out with cute girls who wear sleeveless jean jackets and drink PBR because they actually think it tastes good then you should check these guys out. Their best songs are You’re a Sort and In Other Words. As of right now I’d rate them as kind of FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAwUnniv7eI&list=PLMiySkMov7nh0K5aIv1Zfh3EBx3YRSsx9&index=3

Brayton Bowman and Uniform

While I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the Prince dance party the other night, the fact that I saw old women wearing Go Go Girl outfits with diamond studded heels made me realize that it was high time for me to find some new artists to listen to. This way I could at least go to shows that have young girls wearing high waisted jeans which show off their wonderful FUPA’s and possibly even get a chance to make out with the next Zooey Deschanel. I mean her time as the hipster it girl has finally faded, so I should have a realistic chance at her by now, right? Oh well, with that in mind, here’s a look at a few new artists for you to listen to.

Brayton Bowman is a singer-songwriter from Philadelphia who seems to be following the Sam Smith formula, which is to try and be successful with one genre, only to get your heart broken by a dude, and then decide to switch it up to RnB because you once heard an Al Green song that touched your heart. And who can blame the man, How Do You Mend a Broken Heart has led many men to the beds of prostitutes and Hooters girls for years in the hopes that they will find comfort there. The difference between him and Smith is that he at least is bi as he apparently has a thing for Black girls too, something he made evident in the song Ride or Die. Typical. I guess he finally ended the decade long argument of if you should go for a Ride or Die Chick (The Lox) or a Hot Girl (Cash Money Millionaires) as Ride or Die chicks can apparently turn gay men straight.

His music reminds you of the days when RnB artists shamelessly talked about getting drunk on Crown Royal and booty calling their girls to come over; it’s just that instead of liquor he prefers blunts, see the song Jaywalk which contains the lyrics "it took 6 months of blunts to get the taste of you out of my mouth". One can only hope that this song was about a girl. His songs are for the most part all up tempo and will certainly have you dancing. Some of his highlights are Skin Deep and his wonderful cover of Britney Spears’ Hit Me Baby One More Time. Until today I had never actually heard that song in its entirety, I had only seen the video about a million times with the sound off but this song with its electronic feel has me seeing it in a whole new light. Right now I rate him as FRESH and suggest you check his music out.
https://soundcloud.com/brayton

Next up is punk rockers turned industrial artists Uniform. The band is made up of former members of The Men and Drunkdriver and the opening track of their new album Perfect World lets you know that it wasn’t a hard transition for them at all. It sounds like Trent Reznor B sides but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s not much movement in their songs but you’ll find yourself rocking out to the same crashing chord over and over again and it’s because of this that I find myself liking the potential of this band. It’s a bit too early for me to get a good feel for them but as of now I give them a rating of FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7QmkvoweCk


 

Lil Debbie and Elliot Moss

A friend of mine hit me up late Friday night to see if I had ever heard of the rapper Lil Debbie before, and in most cases I’d typically just say no, blow off their suggestion as something wack, and continue on with my night. But this particular friend is a fellow music nerd like me and I actually respect her opinion on bands as she has good taste in music and we’ve seen a number of shows together; so I decided to give this new artist a shot even though my mind was more focused on food than it was on booty shaking music.

The first song I heard of Debbie’s was Wiggle, a banger which happens to sample the legendary Too Short, and any rapper that has love for the Short Dawg instantly has my attention. As I was listening to her music I noticed that she had a nice flow and some pretty brash lyrics for an upstart female rapper, and just hearing her talk about making it clap took me back to the days of Lil Kim; a woman who I am sure she thinks is her spirit animal. If you google her name, the first songs that pull up are Bitches and Work the Middle, so that gives you a pretty good idea of what you’re in for when you listen to her music. I found myself digging it at first but the second I saw that she was white, I instantly wrote her off as a wack Iggy Azalea (who is wack herself) and I was ready to relentlessly make fun of my friend.

I decided however to hold off on the ridicule and to go check her out anyway because it was a cheap show, my friend is hot, and I haven’t seen a stripper on stage for quite a while. And as it turned out, I am so happy that I wound up going to see this modern day spectacle because this show brought out all of the freaks; I saw the poor version of the Bleachers’ Jack Antonoff there, I saw what an old Clark Kent would look like if he was an actual real person, and I also saw that every dirty stripper from the grimy Landing Strip decided to take the night off so that they could go and see their version of Michelle Obama.

Debbie brings a ton of energy to the stage and she has diehard fans who feed off her every move. So if you get the chance to see her live, do so as I promise you you’ll spend the rest of the night singing about Ratchet Bitches and Slot Machines. She gets a rating of barely FRESH.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOTpymGSbOs

Next up is Elliot Moss. I missed him when he came to SXSW this year but ever since he stepped on stage and wowed a few audiences there, I’ve heard nothing but good things about him, so I decided to check him out. I was hoping that he would bring something new to a genre that is quickly becoming stale and uninspired as more and more artists are simply doing their best Roger Troutman impersonation as opposed to actually coming up with something fresh and exciting. Moss is part of the electronic RnB movement that James Blake made popular when he released his brilliant Wilhelms Scream. At first I was a bit disappointed when I heard his most popular song Slip because it’s the kind of song that lulls you into a sleep that you’re afraid you’ll never wake up from. But thankfully by the time you get to Best Light and I Can’t Swim you start to nod your head a little more and you once again have hope for the future of this 21 year old kid. It’s not the most innovative stuff out there but it is promising, so I give it a rating of FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrEZV6mhdDs
 

Alison Wonderland and New Highway Hymnal

Ice Cube once taught us that “Gangstas make the world go ‘round” on what is quite possibly the best diss album of all time in Westside Connection’s Bow Down. After he drank a beer, busted a rap, and ended B-Real’s f*&^ing career (another line from the album) he reminded everyone just how influential music can be at times. Music can unite people in dangerous ways, see the whole East coast versus West coast battle and how it ended two of hip hop’s biggest stars’ lives in Tupac and Biggie, but it can also bring people together who would have never otherwise met.

 I recently convinced a hot 40 year old woman to shout “I wanna f&*^ the freckles off your face b&^*” at an Earl Sweatshirt show. Sadly neither one of us has freckles so I didn’t actually get to take her up on her offer but I do have Earl to thank for giving me such an awesome intro line.  Well hopefully after listening to one of the two new artists I’m previewing today you will be shouting obscenities at random strangers in public in no time.

First up is Alison Wonderland; she’s a DJ out of Australia who’s probably fresh off of parole because let’s be honest, aren’t most Australians on parole from their day of birth? Anytime Britain thinks you’re too low class of a criminal to stay on their island so they ship you off to another one, that says quite a bit about you as a people. But today’s music is fresh because it’s full of former criminals who now make fresh beats for us to dance to versus making guns for us to strip all of our valuables off to; although there is still some stripping that goes on to their music in certain situations’ or so I’ve heard anyway.

Wonderland sounds like she’s Swiss Beats mixed with Flux Pavilion; which is perfect as her trippy banging club beats with famous leads Lil Wayne and Wayne Coyne will take her to the next level. It’s just a matter of time before Kanye disses her, so pop in on her tracks I Want You, U Don’t Know, and Cold before you’re forced to choose sides in the global hip hop war. I rate her as FRESH!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et4Ns2ADrmw

Next up is New Highway Hymnal. They are a dark and almost gothic psychedelic group who spit out lyrics like “My girl, she wants more more more!”. Sounds like the soundtrack to a 70’s porn. The jury is still out on these guys but I rate them as FRESH for now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4ZlaL_guv4

SXSW 2015 Hip Hop Preview: The Posterz, IAMSU, and Verite'

If you're going to check out a hip hop showcase at SXSW this year make sure you plan on being there for at least three hours. It's not due to the fact that there will be a wealth of talent there, although sometimes that's the case, but it's because Black people refuse to ever show up on time! I'm not sure if it's payback for the cruelty of slavery or if they just took Tupac's Fuck the World too much to heart but hip hop artists show up at minimum 40 minutes late to a show even if it means that their set time will be cut in half; just look at 2 Chainz from Fader Fort a few years ago.

The problem is, unless it's a big showcase that features other genres of music, the venue will typically just roll with the artists showing up late and will still let them have their full set time; so there's a good chance that the performer you came to see at a certain time wont be on stage for another two hours. But hip hop showcases are always a party, so just sit back and enjoy it.

The first group you should check out is The Posterz out of Montreal. Montreal has all of a sudden become the new hub for young, talented, and unique artists as its been cranking out nothing but legit music the past few years. Everyone in this group brings a refreshing style to the game and the second you hear their beats you want to immediately turn up. Sometimes it's hard to give hip hop artists who aren't from America props but singing a hook that says "getting cash is the only thing I know" is as universal as it gets. I rate these guys as FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JTfr-xcGVI

Next up is IAMSU out of Richmond, CA; he has actually been in the game since 2010 but he just released his first solo album last year. In the past five years he's racked up a pretty impressive resume' as he's been on E-40's Function and the annoyingly awesome Gas Pedal. His rhymes aren't all that deep but that's ok because every now and then you just need to hear some dope beats with someone yelling about their dick over them. IAMSU and his smooth Cali flow gets a rating of FRESH from me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAnWhrjt0iE

The last artist to check out is the unbelievably beautiful Verite'. Most people would categorize her music as pop but when you hear her in interviews you can tell that she hates being put in a box. She claims that quite a few of her lyrics are inspired by hip hop  and when you listen to her voice, you can tell that she intentionally uses it to bring a dark feel to her music. It's interesting enough for me to take the time to check out when there's 1900 other options available to me, so I will rate it as FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wLkZYoSRdE

Colleen Green, Honne, and Solids

Where are we as a society when a major corporation like Adidas coaxes NBA star All Star Damien Lillard into choosing Nick Cannon to be the unofficial celebrity team mascot for the Portland Trail Blazers when Humpty from the Digital Underground was an available option? Don't get me wrong, I like the song Gigolo as much as the next man because it has R, Kelly at the height of his weirdness and freshness. He was somehow able to sing his way out of a statutory rape conviction and did so while wearing a Zoro mask to boot; that's seriously hard to do.

But Nick Cannon is just some weak scrub who simply took advantage of an old lady who was desperate for attention in Mariah Carey while Humpty gave us The Humpty Dance, Freaks of the Industry, and Tupac! I mean it's not even close. So I took the time to find three fresh new artists to share with the world, or the 35 people who actually read this site, so that the next generation will not make the same mistake again.

First up is the grunge pop cutie Colleen Green from Los Angeles. I truly believe that if Scott Weiland (STP) were a girl this would be the solo album he'd make as he tried so hard for so long to drown simple pop melodies in David Bowie esque distortion. Well Green was able to successfully do it in only two tries. She just released her second album which is called I Want to Grow Up and it really is all about her struggle to adjust to adult life at the age of 30. Fuzzy guitars fill your ears as you listen to her unsophisticated lyrics but this is really all you want in fun music and it feels the void that so many of us need; escapism. Check her out as she's FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qngB3a-V9vw

Next up is Honne; they are two Brits who listened to way too much Cameo and Gap Band when they were growing up and this is the result. The lead's voice sounds so much like Chris Martin (Coldplay) that I seriously thought they just sampled his voice and put it over music. They are an interesting group that I'm not completely sold on yet but they do have uncomplicated lyrics and that is something that's key when you're trying to make indie RnB music. The Bootsy Collins guitar solo in the middle of All in the Value is a pleasant surprise. Ok, so it wasn't really Bootsy but they're still FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRqNsiMBn-k

The last group for the day is Solids. Canada is having a ton of success lately with their two piece rock bands and this group from Montreal falls right in the line with the rest of the good music that's been coming from this strip club loving country. Their music reminds you of the days when Bridgette Fonda was dancing around to grunge music in her living room with no bra on. And who doesn't love women that dance with their bras off? I know that I do! Anyway, I would give Dinosaur Jr's cousins a shot as they are pretty FRESH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6RmyFFTlgk

Quilt and Fatima

Believe it or not I was actually out on a date the other night, and knowing that we both love music more than the average human does, she asked me what was the best show I saw last year. I immediately responded with Interpol’s ACL after show at Stubbs but sadly this was followed by a deafening silence and an internal eye roll that I don’t think she quite knew I noticed. So naturally I responded by asking her the same question and she replied with some folk band that uses ukuleles and fishing line for their instruments. She said they were great because they wrote an anti-violence against women song to combat all the pro-violence against women songs that exist in country today.

When did this become a trend? I grew up in Podunk Texas, so I was forced to hear every awful country song there is and I certainly don’t remember any songs about killing women! I remember Willie Nelson singing about his ex having a big butt and everyone loving it because that was his big diss on her; and I also know that some dude sang a song about tears in his beer but that was about as harsh as it ever got! Is country now full of jerks who heard the Marshall Mathers LP and suddenly felt inspired to pick up a banjo and jack his style? I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate this genre anymore than I already did but I learned that I should never say never. So with that in mind, I purposely went out and found a folk band (and yes I group folk and country together sometimes because most of it sucks) that’s safe for everyone to love because their actually fairly creative and likeable; only one or two of them wears a hat with feathers in it.

That band I’m talking is this folky psychedelic group out of Boston called Quilt. Most of their songs have all 4 members singing throughout them and their best song Saturday Bride came about from their randomly jamming together and unintentionally forming a solid song. Their song Tired and Buttered is a bit more upbeat as far as tempo goes but it works as they are able to keep the spirit of folk music while also making you rock out; and that’s something that rarely happens. They aren’t the greatest band ever but I certainly do like their potential, so I rate them as kind of FRESH and I suggest that you check them out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CBZzRuWf3w

The next artist I want to talk about is Fatima. It sounds as if she is trying to revive the Neo soul movement all by herself as her style is a combination of Zhane’s vocal ability and D’Angelo’s jazzy sound. And since every hipster out there has all of a sudden discovered and claimed D’Angelo as their own; once again robbing me of my childhood, you can be the first on the scene to claim Fatima. She is definitely FRESH!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auTY54Q59Y8

a l l i e and Gazelle Twin

My mom loves to tell the classic story of when my grumpy old uncle offended poor Kanye West's grandmother on her birthday in Oklahoma City a few years back. This was obviously back when both she and West's mother were still alive and clearly before Yeezy went completely crazy like he is today. My uncle and Ye's grandmother went to the same church at the time and the church happened to be throwing a special birthday party just for her. Well Kanye flew into town to attend it and he decided to get up and perform a surprise number just for the occassion. My uncle, being an old minister, had no idea who Kanye West was but had just found out that he was "some kind of a rapper". So when Kanye got up to perform, he in a rather loud whisper, asked my aunt "Oh Lord! You mean we have to listen to rap?!?!" My aunt, who is a bit more hip than my uncle is, slunk down in her chair in an attempt to hide herself because there was no way that Yeezy's relatives didn't hear him as they were sitting right next to them when he said it. God bless my uncle!

This was obviously before the Graduation album dropped and he became the global sensation and nut job that he is now (btw I love Kanye), but I'm still surprised that I haven't heard at least one lyrical diss from him about old preachers and disrespect at this point. Because this would obviously lead to me dropping an album with a counter diss and then Jay Z releasing a diss track of his own to support his boy and so on and so on, just like Boyz in Da Hood. "Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood"

The point is, I don't ever want to be as oblivious as my uncle was, so I constantly check out new artists no matter how strange or how wack they are. Now with all of that said, here are a few more artists that my family can hopefully offend in the near future.

First up is a l l i e. She is the latest artist out of Canada that is bringing the noise and thankfully for her she just so happens to sound like a mix of the Chicago based Nylo, with her beauty and soul, and the wonderful Erykah Badu and her neo funk. She represents the more experimental side of Badu as she has the ability to take you on these sexy trips to outer space with her ambitious take on the Rnb genre. I'm hesitant to give her that label because it puts her in a box that she doesn't quite belong in but I have to start somewhere. She is on Kaytranda's label, who is based out of Montreal, and you cant help but hear his influence in her music with the head nodding hip hop beats that are dropped on her tracks. The combination of the coolness of her music and her sexy delivery wont quite inspire you to go raw dawg and produce babies but there will definitely be some baby making activities going on. Some of her highlights include Maharajah, Just Like That, and Cross My Mind. Private Island with 2nd Son is like nothing I've really heard before in RnB with its innovative beat that has these spatterings of underground electronica mixed in it. I give her a rating of FRESH but let's just hope that she has more of a stage presence than Sza does, another artist I fell in love with until I saw her perform live.
https://soundcloud.com/search?q=a%20l%20l%20i%20e

Next up is Gazelle Twin; and I have to admit that when I first read up on her, I immediately rolled my eyes and let out a loud hipster esque sigh in disgust! There were all of these comparisons to Nine Inch Nails and stories about how she always disguises her face with a mask or some sort of visual matrixing while also appearing with dirt covered hands. Typically when artists go through these drastic of measures in an attempt to separate themselves by not drawing attention to their looks its because of two reasons : 1. They are generally ugly and 2. Their music really sucks. Look at Kiss. But after listening to her music I discovered that it actually is heavily influenced by the industrial scene with its dark, grimy, and sonically booming electronic beats. This is the kind of music you'd expect to hear playing while Ryan Gosling walks into a dark club night right before he whacks someone in an art house action flick.

She spits out lyrics at a steady and determined rate like an evil robot would but she also has the ability to sing in such a beautiful way that cant help but slowly and sneakily draw you in. Her EP Mammal is the perfect example of this. Outside of Anti Body, Belly of the Beast is my favorite song of hers as this is where you hear the NIN influence. "I'll beat them at their own game" from that track may be a shout out to all of the big boy artists in this male laden genre; and I have to say that she may certainly give them a reason to look over their shoulders with her talent. I rate her as FRESH!
 https://soundcloud.com/gazelletwin

SXSW Preview 5 : Slaves, Perfect Pussy, and Sza

I continue to burn bridges in the infant stage of my writing career by trashing most of the artists that this nice PR firm sends me out to preview for them. And apparently I am too lazy to actually vote for the Austin Music Blogger awards, so consequently they tried to charge me a cover price to get into the awards show! Yeah, that didn't quite happen. But I figure maybe its time for me to actually make friends and hopefully stop the bleeding at some point. So I have decided that I will only preview or review artists that I actually like for at least two to three days and see where that gets me; probably right back on my couch! Who knows though, Jimmy Fallon has next to no talent but being nice got him the Tonight Show gig with The Roots as his supporting band. With my luck I'll end up as Wayne Brady's sidekick on his syndicated late night talk show playing the role as the black conspiracy theorist. "You see the game of pool is racist! The game is over when the white ball knocks the black ball clear off the table!" That quote actually belongs to Martin Lawrence in Boomerang but I'll be too lazy to give him credit for it and try and claim it as my own.

So ironically the first artist I'm previewing today happens to be a punk band from Great Britain called Slaves. I was a bit scared to preview them because they were a band that I discovered while drinking by myself at midnight, and typically those bands don't sound nearly as good to me the next day. But these guys actually held up. They literally sound like the reincarnation of the Sex Pistols as they spout out random obscenities and lyrics like "I like it better when you're mad at me, you're really boring when you're nice". This is something I can relate to as I love me some crazy girls too. I rate these guys as FRESH!
http://soundcloud.com/slavesuk/wheres-your-car-debbie-1

Next up is Perfect Pussy, a band out of Syracuse, New York. Their sound is basically organized noise with a chick screaming about how she never wanted children but just a niece apartment with drapes. It's bold punk that I know I shouldn't like because on the surface it sounds like "Sex and the City makes a band", but you can tell there's so much more to it than that. Their demo sounds like it was recorded under my bed but that simply adds to their charm. Plus who isn't in a search for perfect pussy? I rate them as very FRESH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKPc7kD4vjM

I actually previewed this next artist on my site earlier this year but I think she's worth bringing up again as she will be playing Hype Hotel this SXSW. Sza is an RnB artist from Jersey who has a light voice that sounds like it’s a natural auto tuner. Her sound is next of Sade at times and she even looks a bit like her if you go back to the No Ordinary Love era. At other times, her music sounds like Purity Ring, if they ever decided to go with a hip hop sound.  This is cool, definitely get you laid type music. Who would have ever thought that RnB mixed with bass heavy Enya could sound so good? I think that once she eventually teams up with a real producer she can’t help but take off as she definitely has the vocal chops for indie stardom. Plus lyrics like “None of my panties match, my fella hates it” in Castles, will have dudes having unprotected sex with their girlfriends in no time! Yes, just the mere mention of panties gets us going. Atmosphere and Ice Moon are the highlights on her 8 track mix tape, which for some reason has 3 long movie clips on it. Who is she, the female Redman? Who has the time to put obscure movie clips on their mix tape? Despite this minor complaint, I give her a rating of FRESH and suggest you get on this bandwagon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3OCRsSJNs8&list=PLdXiEijcRY1MVhQJNs-4PBNx_fDLrmijU

Sohn and Drenge : SXSW Preview 1

Yes yes yes! It’s that time of year again; the time where I run to my doctor for some allergy relief and instead of my actual health, we spend the entire time talking about SXSW. This is good in the sense that I have a cool doctor but bad in the sense that I could be growing a third ear and he wouldn’t even notice because he was too busy listening to my story about Weenie Hut. Weenie Hut is this super nerdy kid that I discovered at an underground Austin hip hop show. He looked like the 16 year old version of Napoleon Dynamite and said weird things like “Um…I’m gonna do rap stuff while you stand there and listen”. Riiiiiight,I thought that there was no way this kid would make it through a single song let alone be any good but as it turned out he kind of killed it! He didn’t even let this weird girl who was heckling him and dancing off beat take him off his game! He in that one moment pretty much summed up everything I love about SX and that’s the fact that you can walk into a show with little to no expectations and walk out with a new favorite artist. Now I’m not saying Weenie Hut is  a new favorite of mine but after combing through the initial 1700 bands that the festival has released, I have found some serious potential.

First up is Sohn, a soulful white brother from Vienna who was born in London just like James Blake. Why do I bring up Blake? Because they are similar in so many ways; however when I first heard the comparisons between the two, I was instantly ready to write Sohn off due to the fact that I didn't think anyone could match Blake's unique ability to make dark soulful indie music cool. But just like with so many other things in life that aren't related to the Cosby Show, I was completely wrong. While his beats aren't as dark and quirky as Blake's, they are synth heavy and have spastic drums that make you think that he listens to a lot of Timbaland in his down time. He makes depressing songs about crazy exes that he keeps going back to like the Offspring's Self Esteem (when's the last time you heard a reference to that song) and songs about chasing girls that don't love him. Now this is stuff that scrubs like me can relate to. Check out his highlights in Lessons and Bloodflows as I rate Sohn and his music as FRESH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e17iXDf0NGE

Next up is Drenge, two kids who are from Northern England that seem to have a desire to keep the grunge movement alive and kicking. Just try and imagine what Silverchair's sound would be like after they went through puberty and didn't become anorexic. The only thing is, I actually listened to some post puberty Silverchair and Drenge doesn't suck like they did. I would listen to Face Like a Skull and Backwaters to get a sense of what they bring to the table. I rate them as FRESH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AdfZ2rhZmc

Denzel Curry and August Alsina

I haven’t listened to the radio in years; and that includes XM, Sirius, or the ahead of its time Sesame Street Martian Radio. But the one time I was forced to happened a few weeks ago when I was stuck with a rental car from the early 90’s that only had a tape deck and a stereo in it. I looked for hours for my Bell Biv Devoe cassette but couldn’t find it for the life of me; so there I was, forced to listen to what is considered today’s version of  hip hop. I knew it was in a bad state but I thought that the recent infusion of former indie artists such as Kendrick Lamar, A$ap Rocky, and even Rocky Fresh and Danny Brown would have at least brought it up from the gutter. That was until I heard Welcome to My House Party, Woke up in Bugati??? and something about When I Go Out, You Know I Got to Show Out back to back to back. All of these songs were interchangeable in that they had the same 808 beat and they basically had the same material. The only thing going on now is partying and popping Mali? No one is broke anymore? Whatever happened to broken glass everywhere; people pissing on the corner, man they just don’t care. There aren’t crazy ladies living in a bag anymore? It’s sad that we are already killing our brain cells with alcohol, drugs, and television, but now we also need music to turn our minds to mush??? Someone needs to piss off Ice Cube or force DMX to live in the projects again so he can rap about murdering people. We have to have some balance in hip hop and that includes angry Black men yelling about something other than a damn menage.

Well hopefully Denzel Curry can help bring this art form back to some level of respectability with his Nostalgic 64 album. Right now I believe he is simply riding the high that came from Trayvon Martin’s death since he is from the same high school and had a song about the walkout they had in protest of his murder. But don’t let that deter you from checking him out as he definitely has skills. He raps above his age which is key since he hasn’t even graduated from high school yet. Now if he were a scrub like me, he’d be rapping about parties and how he wishes he was a baller but he doesn’t ; he raps about life's forks in the road and how he has the seen the negative consequences of making the wrong choices. He has a good flow and speaks the language that you would expect to hear from someone in the country ghetto that is Florida. And he does this over dark gully beats that definitely represent the south. Check him out as I give him a rating of FRESH.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L8BJVCMUDI

August Alsina is up next and he reminds me of a young R. Kelly, the one that existed before he started peeing on underage girls. While he doesn’t quite have the vocal range Kelly has, his songs lyrically are simple and to the point. You’ll hear songs like Let Me Hit That or I Luv This where he’ll  sing “I’m way too drunk to be talking like this, I’m way too high to be trippin like this, I’m way too young to be living like this”. It's not exactly poetry and he's not much in the way of a role model but if you’re looking to party and/or hook up this will definitely get you what you are looking for. He already has done collaborations with Currency, Trinidad James, Yo Gotti, Trey Songz, and Chris Brown just to name a few. He will definitely blow up in the near future. Ghetto will definitely get you out of whatever friend zone you’re stuck in and will lead to an uncomfortable morning after talk. I give him a rating of FRESH! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ViSMGCqsvE

Nylo and Psychic Teens

I think we have finally reached the point that Bill Murray tried to prepare us for when he yelled “Dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!!!” Whenever I wear my fedora out on the town, it never fails, girls and guys automatically assume that I’m gay and try and hook me up with their “cute friend”. Or they assume that I’m a drug dealer and start spitting out slang to me that I’ve only heard on The Wire or in a 2 Chainz song. I of course I have no clue what they want and they walk away very confused but I always end up rapping every line of Whoop That Trick from Hustle and Flow in my head as they leave. Ok, so I only know the hook to that song but I add in my own rhymes which of course are fresh. The point of this is, how does a country boy who wears Steve Urkel glasses get mistaken for Nino Brown? “Am I my brother’s keeper??? CMB!!!” And while we’re at it, how is one the biggest names in hip hop right now from Canada? Well the hits keep on coming with the next big thing from Chicago.

Nylo is a strikingly hot white girl from the windy city that grew up listening to way too much Nsync, Aaliyah, and TLC; so naturally she became an R&B singer as a result of it. Now to her credit, she certainly does sound like she belongs in the game. She even brings a little edge as she’s dropping F bombs while singing about getting drunk and boning dudes; maybe I should’ve added R. Kelly to her list of influences as well. Whenever a girl sings about booze and sex, men turn into little prairie dogs, our heads pop out of the ground and you have our complete attention from that point on! She’s hot and I like her stuff but if she weren’t white, there really wouldn’t be anything to separate her from the rest of the pack. Maybe she should start rocking condoms on her glasses like Left Eye did back in the day. Check out her mix tape (yes, you read that correctly) Indigo Summer; every time I tried to stop listening to it another 808 would drop and I would wind up nodding my head to the beat. I rate her as FRESH!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWGABUEmeqU 

Next up are the Psychic Teens. When it comes to heavy rock, Philly has truly been coming with it lately. The Teens really represent the no nonsense attitudes you get from the people of cheese steak land and also the overall dirtiness of the city. H#te immediately punches you in the face and it just screams for you to basically start your own mosh pit! This is the kind of song that musically makes you think evil is in the air. Other songs like Dose remind you of the dark and heavy Alice in Chains days, which I guess when I think about it, would describe their entire career. The lead has a low monotone voice that Spin compared to Paul Banks from Interpol but it’s not quite that cool. I am not a fan of evil but I am a fan of this band so far. I want to rate them as fresh but I just haven’t heard enough from them at this point to do so, so for now they get a barely WEAK.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwLbhqo_9rM

Sza and Antwon

Ever since SXSW, my live music experiences have consisted of me getting hammered off of a liter of gin while stumbling over hipsters and krusties to see local grunge and punk acts. But please don’t fret as I am still on the lookout for the next big thing. Oh, and is humanly possible to see every Arum Rae show that will ever be played? How is it that I can’t get her to run off stage and have her voluntarily throw those amazing boobs in my face? I thought that a black guy wearing Rodge glasses was the new black? You remember Rodge from What’s Happening don’t you? Oh well, the day I see a cop come up to me at one of her shows without a drug sniffing dog is the day I know I’m not simply being racially profiled.

The good news for poor Arum is that one possible new obsession has come in the form of Sza. Sza is an RnB artist from Jersey who has a light voice that sounds like it’s a natural auto tuner. She sounds next of Sade at times and even looks a bit like her if you go back to the No Ordinary Love era. At other times, her music sounds like Purity Ring if they ever decided to go with a hip hop sound.  This is cool, definitely get you laid type music. Who would have ever thought that RnB mixed with bass heavy Enya could sound so good? I think that once she eventually teams up with a real producer she can’t help but take off as she definitely has the vocal chops for indie stardom. Plus lyrics like “None of my panties match, my fella hates it” in Castles, will have dudes having unprotected sex with their girlfriends in no time! Atmosphere and Ice Moon are the highlights on her 8 track mix tape, which for some reason has 3 long movie clips on it. Who is she, the female Redman? Who has the time to put obscure movies on their mix tape? Despite this minor complaint, I give her a rating of FRESH and suggest you get on this bandwagon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3OCRsSJNs8&list=PLdXiEijcRY1MVhQJNs-4PBNx_fDLrmijU

Next up is the San Jose rapper Antwon, whose biggest hit so far is the banger Still Guarded. He is a big dude that's a bit gully and sounds like he should be from one of New York’s dirty boroughs. He definitely has the image but to be honest, he is lacking in every other area. This is hipster hip hop; rap that is laid over 80’s pop beats. This is most evident in one of my favorite tracks off of the Fantasy Beds mix tape, Helicopter. Great song that probably should have been included in Ryan Gosling’s Drive; how else do you kick a guys face in but with angry black guys shouting obscenities over beats. Granted his music isn’t spectacular but I would definitely check out his show if he came to town. I give him a rating of kind of WEAK until he releases more material. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYH8kkIZdzg

Les Rav and The Neighbourhood

The one thing that mini SXSW otherwise known as Free Week in Austin reminded me was that during these festivals where there are shows at every venue downtown; you have to sift through a lot trash (both literally and figuratively) to find the goodness. And don’t be fooled by the shiny wrapper either! The perfect example of this was Les Rav. They are a 5 piece local band who apparently have a prerequisite of owning a minimum $5,000.00 instrument to get in the band. The lead singer who looked like Asia Argento had a keyboard that took up the entire stage, two dudes had violins, and another guy in the background was rocking a $15k harp. You don’t just one day get into playing the harp, that means this kid grew up with this in his house. As a matter of fact all of these clowns looked like Westlake brats who were bored and decided to form a band. They were cracking bad jokes about raves, wearing watches on the wrong wrist, and were dressed like they had just left the glee club; it was so wack it had to be fresh right? Wrong!

Asia could kind of sing, and the two violins dudes got so excited during the performance that they touched bows and made some kind of weird clock out of their homo erotic bonding. Musically they were just boring because with the instruments they had you would think the songs would eventually build to some awesome climax but they never did. Just slow and brooding whining about…well who knows really. You were so distracted by the wackiness that you couldn’t really focus on anything else. Avoid them but try and get Asia’s phone number for me. They are definitely WACK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIGqma_pgJo

The point of all of that was to get you mentally ready for SXSW and the 2000 bands and over 200,000 hipsters you have to sift through to find the next big thing. I can hopefully save you some time by introducing you to a few; and one of these diamonds  I truly believe will be The Neighbourhood. They are 5 white kids from California who purposely spell neighborhood like their British and somehow mix indie rock with RnB undertones. The lead has always made hip hop and RnB music and decided to bring that skill to this project. If you have read any of my stuff in the past then you know that I believe that RnB is already dead or at least on its death bed and that’s mainly because no one is trying anything new with it. Well this is step in the right direction. Check out their songs Female Robbery, Leaving Tonight, and Baby Come Home. All of heir songs are bit loungy and make you feel like you should be wearing a tux and sipping on a martini while listening to it. I am always reluctant to rate a band before seeing them live but I am going to rate them as slightly FRESH in hopes that a year from now I don’t look back and feel like I gave the next Jon B a good rating.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvgulss9E-o

Both of these bands are playing SXSW. Enjoy.

Black Milk/Frank Ocean

I am 100% aware of the fact that the title of the post sounds like a porn movie and it's star but fortunately for you it's about two up and comers in hip hop and r&b. Plus I dont think anyone will ever top Peter North or Misty Rain so let's just move on. I never really planned on writing about these two because I just assumed that everyone already knew who they were but after talking to some friends this weekend who had never heard of Iggy and the Stooges; I have come to the conclusion that you can't assume anything. Also, in honor of The Mohawk seeking out the only two black people at the Bass Drum of Death show and taking a pic of us(which I am sure was instantly sent to the local authorities to make sure we weren't breaking zoning restrictions) I have decided to write about two black artists. It's never too late for a Juneteenth present.

Black Milk is a hip hop producer and MC from Detroit. He really just started out making beats, heavily influenced by Pete Rock and J-Dilla who he later worked with. But as he was getting more recognition in the game, he realized that most of the "artists" in hip hop at the time were really weak. So he decided the only way to change things and actually make money doing it, was to start rhyming himself. And unlike the mega popular and ego maniac mc/producer who gets most of the love (and honestly deservedly so) that's ruling the airwaves right now, he actually gets better with his rhyming skills on each album. But the cool thing about Milk is he doesnt stop there. In between his second (and best) album Tronic and Album of the Year, he took music theory classes to help him improve upon the music he composes and this in turn help support his improving  lyrics. So there is actual piano, drums, guitar, as well as the traditional 808's incorporated into his sound. The result is not a Roots knock off but a breath of fresh air in a stale and auto tuner saturated genre. He rhymes about his life, his influences, the social divide in Detroit, and even has guests like Pharoahe Monche drop clever lines about hipster pants.

The first time I saw him was at The Victory Grill in a set up that literally looked like someone's bedroom. It was about as close to a old school hip hop show as you could get. The bar was illegally selling alcohol, women were looking to get pregnant, and it felt like a break dancing battle could break out at any second. He brings all of the passion he puts into making his music on stage and every time I've seen him the crowd totally connects with that. Plus if right before their set Public Enemy gives you props, that says something. I rate Black Milk as FRESH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_1apOLypPI

"What is your woman, is she just a container for the child?" These are the type of open and honest lyrics you get from Frank Ocean. I wont get into his strange post about falling in love with another man, even though in the homophobic r&b and hip hop community that could do him in. But I think the fact that he doesnt hold anything back is what separates him from the other r&b artists that are out there. Don't get me wrong, he's not the only one singing about personal issues but most of what's coming out now is about why you punched your girlfriend in the mouth or how much it sucks to drown your life in VIP with strippers.

Basically go *&%^ yourselves, no one cares about how hard it is to have money and hot girlfriends. Sorry for the f bomb but try slanging computers for a living and then come holler at me. And this is assuming that their lyrics arent ghost written. That's actually how Ocean started out, as a ghost writer along with working with the underground hip hop skateboarding  terrorists Odd Future. He started blowing up with his EP Nostalgia which featured Novacane and Swim Good. And his new release channel Orange is building upon the promise he showed with last year's EP. His voice has the range to sound as sexy as Usher's and to get as high as Prince's. Ok, now it sounds like I am the one falling in love with a man but seriously his range is pretty impressive. I say check him out for yourself, although I am not sure how his show would come across live. So I will have to report back in that department. If you have seen him live, please post on here about your experience. Right now I will rate him as FRESH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CWk-nM1ubM

An Intimate Evening with The Ultimate Piss Artist

Look, I am well aware of the fact that only my mom and Elmo the wonder elf currently read this blog on a regular basis but when I get angry about something I feel the need to shout it from the hills. Now, I will admit that all of the warning signs were there. I first saw the advertisement for this "event", on some random blog with the title "An Intimate Evening with R. Kelly : Just in Time for Mother's Day". First off, who would ever actually take their mom to an R. Kelly show? He is known for basically stripping naked on stage. And I can't imagine the horror one would feel if they saw their mom actually swooning over this. Second, he allegedly had sexual relations with a minor (Aaliyah) and then also allegedly, was caught on tape urinating on another. Wow, just typing that kind of makes the horror of that very real and not as funny as we've always thought it was. But the point is, is this the gift you want to give your mom for Mother's Day??? The second sign was that this event was to take place at The Mansion. If you try and pull up a google image of this place, there's a picture of it taken from a field from about 300 yards away. Once you zoom in, you see that it used to be Club Jaguar! And there is a pic of a bootylicious black woman on the sign. So clearly this venue is a converted strip club, perfect for mothers. Then, when you go to purchase tickets, there were normal general admission tickets ($30), V.I.P. tickets ($50), and a whole host of additional V.I.P. options some of which were in the range of $500 for a table and a bottle of Ciroc. And the dress code for this ghetto fabulous event was listed as "classy and chic" and it was STRICTLY ENFORCED! What is classy and chic? A suit? Purple gators? A top hat and cane? Btw I really should own all 4 of these. If all of this wasn't enough, when you walk into this venue, there is a rather large sign that says no refunds. Aaargh!!! How could I be soo stupid??? I guess I was just blinded by Robert Kelly's large and impressive library of hits and of course his genius, and yes I do mean genius, Trapped in the Closet. Any 90 minute song that includes a midget stripper that bangs someone's wife is pure art.

As far as the scene went, it was a nice atmosphere. I was disappointed that I didnt see any pimp canes or pastel colored suits. For the most part, my people were dressed to the nines but not over the top. My hipster friends were kind of struggling with the dress code. They had to dig deep into their vintage clothing to meet the requirements but even they looked good and everyone was excited for the comedy and awesomeness that was to come. The dj's were spinning good music and noone seemed to care that it was almost 1 a.m. and still no sign on Robert. I think we were all in shock when we went to the back patio of this place and saw two shut down hot tubs. Hut tubs in a shady strip club??? Ugh! I was scared to go near them but would have LOVED to have seen what went down back in the day in these things. I would be laughing in horror for days!!! There was a larger one which I presume was for big time spenders. Again, this is all perfect for Mothers Day! If you are wondering why I am spending so much time on describing the set up and scene and so little on the show, well you're about to find out.

Finally, Robert makes his appearance and everyone goes nuts! It's time for Ignition, Honey Love, Bump n Grind, Sadie. He actually showed up!!! He comes on stage smoking the biggest swisher sweet I have ever seen and then shakes hands with about10 people, smiles, and then disappears in the back with his entourage. Um...ok. And then 2 minutes later he pops up in the V.I.P. section in the corner, sings Ignition, the opening line of My Body's Calling, and then says that he wants for every beautiful lady and also every not so beautiful lady to come into V.I.P. with him. And that was it! There has to be more right? He's just going to say hi to a few ladies and then come back on stage to perform right? Nope. That was it. So naturally everyone starts to boo him. The poor dj's had no clue what was going on, so they just continued to play music. Finally 30 minutes later Robert comes back on stage to more boos and looks angry. "Ya'll can boo me all ya'll want but i'm just trying to get drunk like ya'll. If you show me some love i MIGHT come back and sing some songs" What?!?!?!?!?! At this point  we start throwing things on stage and the dj's start calling him out for being weak. Then to further insult us, the promoter comes out and says that Robert is worth a 250k booking fee and we should show him some respect. Then he basically called us country bumpkins because we dont know what a celebrity hosted party is. Um, this is Austin dude! We throw huge parties for an imaginary children's story character. We dont need some ghetto has been to come to town to party. Oh and music legends come through here on the reg, see the Rolling Stones, Radiohead, Clapton, etc.

All I can say is, I am happy that I only spent the $30. If I had dropped $100 or more, I probably would be in jail today. What about these people Robert? What about your loyal fans that have stuck with you through these horrible allegations, or even the people who never get to go to a show and spent alot of money to see you perform. This might be their one show of the year. Well I am embarrassed for Kelly, and if you happen to read this Elmo, DONT PAY MONEY FOR THIS EVENT. Just pop in some Sex Me and make a booty call instead. This "event" is as WACK as it gets. With that said, I'm off to go listen to Age Aint Nothin But A Number by Aaliyah produced by Robert Kelly.

Lates
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIciKDEA_5U

Death of R & B

So strangely enough as I'm sitting at a bar trying to enjoy my Cinco de Mayo, the holiday where we non Mexicans are supposed to be annoying Mexican Americans by invading their bars (or as I call it, their vacation spots), a hispanic man took this opportunity to yell at me about the state of R & B today. Now to his credit, he actually knew his stuff.  But when I say yelling, he was literally two inches from my ear and screaming random things like "Fuck you Mary J Blige!" and "You cant love a woman until you love R & B". Well, he kept buying me tequila shots, so I sat through it. But it got me thinking; I have had sex to Depeche Mode and Radiohead but there is something a little bit different and yes, better when you're rocking Al Green or My Lovin is Digi instead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRp8Dz6uRV8
And it's no secret that R &  B is dead. The last great album was D'Angelo's Voodoo. It seems like people are more concerned with making the quick buck by making a club banger that you can booty shake to, instead of making a girl...well you know.  So after much debate and peacing out on my new found annoying friend, I came to the conclusion that Missy Elliott is the one to blame for us arriving at this point. She really changed the game in reference to combining the two worlds of hip hop and r & b and we are stuck with what we have now. Now dont get me wrong, when Missy combined the two, she did it right. Yes she had her club bangers, but she also could still slow it down a bit (check Beep Me 911). It also helps that she was a ghost writer in the game for years and that she worked with Jodeci who helped start this movement. It wasn't long before everybody and their mother was trying to copy her style; even down to her weird videos. But all you got was a watered down imitation that was completely lacking in any originality.  Now we are so far removed from what R & B was to where we can't even recognize it anymore. This is why Amy Winehouse blew up. Sorry guys, but that was NOT R & B.

Well the closest thing we have to a Missy Elliott today is Santigold. I'm actually shocked when I run into people who have never heard of her especially since she's been around for a while and I discovered her at SXSW 4 years ago. The LA Times was really hyping her up and I heard You'll Find A Way and Creator which really impressed me, so I thought it was worth a pop in. Well let's just say that she really knows how to put on a good show. When she came out, it was her, her dj, and two bootylicious girls who looked and acted like they were straight out of Public Enemy. They would just stand there motionless military style while wearing shades and would break out in synchronized dance moves randomly throughout the set.  Every part of her show just brought out the weirdness and fun that had been missing for so long. Well 4 years later, she's still bringing her own spin on R&B and hip hop complete with the weirdness. All I have to say is that when you come on stage to gold rose petals ala Coming to America, that you earn points with me. Check out her song Go or Disparate Youth. You will see that there is a load of talent to accompany her showmanship. Santigold is FRESH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJos7KTLue4

Next up is Charles Bradley. This is a true throwback attempt at the soulful R & B our parents grew up. He even kind of looks like James Brown. The problem is, that he tries too hard to be James and not himself. Which is understandable, because if you're going to copy someone, why not be the hardest working man in showbiz. And just looking at the 17 kids Brown produced, it looks like he was doing some major work outside of the recording studio as well. Well the good thing is that Bradley has certainly paid his dues. He has been in the game for decades trying to make it but it wasn't until he teamed up with his recent band until he found success. They brought the right style that young hipsters pretend they recognize from the old days. Combine this with his soulful voice and lyrics about the plight of the black man or missing some lovin from his woman and you've got close to what we have been longing for. The only problem is, that it sort of feels a bit generic.  I'm not saying it's not good but man it really does just sound like James Brown covers. Well, Bradley does have some good songs and everytime he performs he leaves everything he has on the stage. So because of that, I'll give him a rating of slightly WEAK.Check him out though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tURR-lIv5FA