tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54922981679110698112024-03-17T20:02:49.740-07:00onlyfreshnessThis site provides you a "fresh" and funny look at new or little known bands that will be coming to a festival near you. Also some insight on both blockbuster and indie films to help fill your time until then. Everything is rated on a Wack to Tight Scale. Wack -Weak-Fresh-Tight. Wack being lame and Tight being the best thing everKGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.comBlogger605125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-87533271775069932862023-07-25T14:14:00.001-07:002023-07-25T14:14:25.951-07:00Barbie<p>I have made it publicly known that I am on a mission to find
my Barbie bride before the year’s end. So, this week I have a date set up with
a Barbie clone from Louisiana. I’m already calling her Cajun Barbie and it’s my
hope that she shows up wearing six-inch gator heels and only drinks Hurricanes
with Boudin in them. “Mama says foosball is the devil!”</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Can you imagine what our kids would look like? I picture a
lighter skinned version of Lil Wayne who only wears pink. But that would of
course totally change your perception of what his song Lollipop is about. And
every time he said, “Stuntin’ like my daddy”, you may raise an eyebrow or two. Or
would he even have to wear pink in the first place? I was really hoping that
the theaters would have their own Mean Girls version of Barbies standing guard at
the doors as you entered. And that they would haze you for not wearing pink
whenever you tried to approach them! “On Mondays we wear pink!” They should have
at the very least incorporated that into the film as I can’t be the only one
who thought of this idea. Oh well, opportunity missed. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I myself was considering wearing pink only because I was
going to a sold-out theater to see this movie solo. And seeing as how I am 76
years old, that could come off as a little creepy when sitting in between
teenage girls whose only experience with someone my age is by the way of their
grandfather or their out of touch Texas History teacher. My thought was, if I
wear pink, maybe I’ll come off as a bi-curious cinephile and would therefore be
considered perfectly safe. But as it turned out, I wound up wearing orange just
to throw everyone off. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here's the thing; I couldn’t believe that there was an actual
scenario in place that would lead to me seeing this film in the theater. When
they announced they were making this film, I immediately laughed out loud and
said there was no way in hell I’d ever see it. It sounded like the dumbest idea
ever. But then I saw that Greta Gerwig was attached to it and that they were
somehow able to cast Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling as Barbie and Ken. So, that
at least made me think that it was going to be more than just a money grab. But
even then, there was a small chance of me ever forking over any cash to see it.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But then I remembered that they did make live-action
versions of Transformers, G.I. Joe, and He-Man, and those movies made ridiculous
amounts of money because nerds from all over came out to support them; so why
not let the ladies get their time? But wasn’t Barbie something of the past? I
thought she portrayed an obsolete view of women and that people now considered
pink to be a gender construct (both of which are addressed in this film). But
then I noticed that every woman who has ever been born showed up opening weekend
wearing pink to see this film, so clearly those thoughts are bullshit! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Give women a reason to dress up and band together and all
the rules go out the window. Just look at Halloween every year. I’m fairly
certain I saw Kamala Harris dress up as naughty T’Challa her first year as Vice
President. And you know what? Good for her and good for women! Go see a movie
about something that was a major part of your childhood and grab some drinks
afterwards to celebrate! Hell, maybe you’ll even meet and hook up with a lonely
writer who’s not afraid to wear orange. Everybody wins! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And speaking of winning, women, Hollywood, and everyone
involved with this movie certainly won! Gerwig and her partner Noah Baumbach wrote
a clever story that not only empowered women but also managed to piss off every
right-wing freak that hates the song WAP. And that my friends is a clear win.
In this film, Barbie seemingly has the perfect life as every day she wears the
perfect outfit, eats the perfect breakfast, and has the best parties with her Barbie
friends. And every day, the Kens all show up to try and grab their attention by
surfing, dancing, and showing off their six packs. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But one day, Barbie’s world is turned upside down as the
real world starts to have its effect on the Barbie world. So, she is forced to
track down her owner to try and resolve things. However, it’s when she and Ken enter
the real world that things totally go haywire. The rest I’ll leave up to you to
experience on your own but the key things to know going in are that every male
in this film is a complete idiot. Which, to quite a few males can be upsetting,
but to me it provided 90% of the laughs in this story. I don’t mean to lead off
by talking about a male character in a movie about women but Ryan Gosling was hilarious
in almost every scene he was in. His discovery of the patriarchy (although I thought
he should have called it the patri-horsey, it makes sense when you see the
film) had me laughing a little too hard. And his turning into a frat-boy was a little
too spot on. But it was good to see him and his comedy talents be put to good
use. Same with Michael Cera.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But obviously the star of the film was Margot Robbie. Her
long journey to her self-discovery had every girl within three miles of me
crying in the theater. It was painful to watch her go from her perfect world to
the disgusting world we live in and to see her fall apart as a result of it. The
entire time you just hoped that she could go back to her perfect life and not
have to endure the pain, insecurities, and uncertainty that we have to deal
with on a daily basis. But, enduring all of this is what ultimately led to her
growth and the outcome that was destined for her and presumably women everywhere.
Sure, the world is tough at times but you have everything inside you to…blah
blah blah, this is not that kind of blog! But the point is, there’s an actual point
to this story. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There is a monologue in the third act that is fairly long
and a little too preachy but if you know anything about Greta Gerwig, you know
that she’s not one for subtlety. Nor should she be. If she wants to hammer a
point home, she certainly can. I’m just not sure that scene will reach more
than her core audience. But the scene that follows where they get every dude to
man-splain everything to the Barbies to help save the day more than made up for
it as that was unbelievably hilarious. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And that’s what I’m ultimately trying to convey here; this
movie was way better than it should have been, I mean, it’s a movie about a
doll. Having said that, if you’re a woman, you will think that this movie deserves
a rating of tight because it is everything you hoped it would be and more. But
if you’re a guy, you’ll just be happy that you didn’t want to kill yourself
afterwards and will want to give it a rating of sort of fresh. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m somewhere in the middle and I give it a rating of pretty
FRESH. Enjoy wearing your pink ladies because we still have 98 days until Halloween.
<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWU4FK_XK8jkIm5gRwCIP5vAxuUeevSRhA67f59OyKMZeRK9o4Zx-zDxquXn2Vo0VUdLfuZy7Nvi-64VoEw-ZiknjGXCZPCJJUa8BZ5Sn0vOtvAi6OjxUhUDBsbyNRN2fjpfVwBBL9S9I1jBQR4DHtk4UwfNuIvZNi4ts_LziUoyV0REaCUQNl0odFJtc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWU4FK_XK8jkIm5gRwCIP5vAxuUeevSRhA67f59OyKMZeRK9o4Zx-zDxquXn2Vo0VUdLfuZy7Nvi-64VoEw-ZiknjGXCZPCJJUa8BZ5Sn0vOtvAi6OjxUhUDBsbyNRN2fjpfVwBBL9S9I1jBQR4DHtk4UwfNuIvZNi4ts_LziUoyV0REaCUQNl0odFJtc" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-53170920643954069072023-07-21T09:01:00.001-07:002023-07-21T09:01:08.061-07:00Oppenheimer <p>“Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.” This is what
Oppenheimer quoted after he helped create the world’s first atomic bomb. And I don’t
believe that there is a more famous quote attached to a person than this one.
Well, maybe “The sweat drop down my balls! All these bitches crawl! Awww skeet
skeet…” and Lil Jon but it’s hard to mess with greatness.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And even though Oppenheimer was born in the U.S. and was an
American citizen, I cannot think of a more German name than his. But it’s no
secret that there was a race amongst the nations to recruit or steal the best
Nazi scientists to have them on your side once the war was over. They were
given new identities and were allowed to safely live in their new societies as
long as they contributed to the greater good of their new homes. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And this got me to thinking. Let’s say someone like the
Japanese defeated the mighty United States one day and there was a race for our
best human resources; where would I land in this group? All I’m sort of good at
is coming up with great Halloween costumes. Everyone remembers the three years
in a row I went dressed as R. Kelly, complete with a handheld camcorder that
said “I want to pee on you”. And then there was last year when I went dressed
as Marsellus Wallace from Pulp Fiction. I was inspired by the ”bring out the
gimp scene” and therefore walked around with a bloody ball gag in my mouth and
a shotgun (well, a toy baseball bat; I didn’t want to give the cops yet another
reason to shoot me). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Quick side note: I was hit on by women waaaay more when I
was R. Kelly than I was as Marsellus but I was also at a goth show when I was
Pulp Fiction, so most of them were probably used to BDSM anyway. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But the point remains; how would I be considered as useful
to a nation? You guys remember that high pitched male voiceover from the 1940’s
that was used in black and white commercial campaigns to promote tin drives and
to encourage women to enter the workforce while the men were off at war?
Perhaps the Japanese could use that same voice to promote my skills and give ME
a new identity. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“Good evening gentlemen (a woman would never be dumb enough
to be a Kamikaze pilot)! Feeling down or nervous about your upcoming mission?
Well fear no more! We have the solution for you! We now have the latest in
costumes to fulfill your heart’s desires! Pee on your favorite colleagues in
complete anonymity using P. Kelly’s sleek eye mask and fake cornrows. Rewatch
your escapades over and over again on your handheld camcorder as you go into
battle! But make sure you drink plenty of fluids! We don’t want you getting
dehydrated in the cockpit after living out your lifelong fantasy! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Want to consummate that friendship you made in basic
training? Live out your wildest dreams using Dr. Sodomheimer’s leather arm straps
and ball gags! You’ll have hours of fun while you engage in purely consensual
military bonding before serving your wonderful country!” (to all you sensitive
readers out there: I ran this joke by my gay, bi, and straight friends and they
all thought it was hilarious. So, chill out and grab yourself some anal beads
for a trial run before you get all bent out of shape). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, I’m far from being an Oppenheimer but I certainly
think I can be of use. And this is exactly what Matt Damon thought when he
recruited Oppenheimer for this all-important mission. Oppenheimer wasn’t the
first choice because of his political leanings and his borderline egotism but
as it turned it out, he was the effective choice. But sadly, Oppenheimer’s Communist
affiliations, his general openness to alternatives to Capitalism, and his outspokenness
on the Pandora’s Box that was opened after the atomic bomb was both created and
used was ultimately his undoing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m not sure how much you know about this film before going
into it but this is what Christopher Nolan chose to put his focus on. Yes,
there is certainly a lot of attention put onto what went into the creating of the
bomb but the vast majority of the film focuses on the pettiness and the general
jealousy that led to Oppenheimer’s life being ripped apart by subcommittees and
people whom he thought were his friends; mainly Lewis Strauss (Robert Downey
Jr.). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There was a race against the Nazis, and even our then ally
in Russia, to come up with an effective bomb after scientists had recently
discovered a way to split the atom. A bomb of this magnitude in the hands of
someone like Hitler, or even Stalin, could have dire consequences for the rest
of the world. So, the U.S. put all its resources into gathering the world’s
best scientists, those of whom they thought they could trust in the midst of a
World War, to be the first to develop and use this weapon. They thought that using
this weapon would bring an immediate end to the war and would allow our soldiers
to come home safely without having to enter any more battles. But it was clear
that there was very little thought put into what the aftereffects would be and
what this could mean for the world moving forward. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, if Nolan had put more of his focus on the tension
around this race, I think that this film would have been highly entertaining.
However, again, he chose to focus on how Oppenheimer’s own country turned
against him after he became a spokesperson for weapons regulations. And if you know
anything about America, we love our guns and our bombs, so he was doomed from
the start. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, don’t get me wrong, Nolan does an excellent job of
making political backstabbing as interesting as he can but this is not what
people expect in a summer blockbuster. We want to see shit get blown up! And that
is by far the most exciting part of the film; the recruitment of the scientists
and the actual testing of the bomb are the parts of the story you came to see.
That is a Christopher Nolan film; tense moments that leave you gasping in
anticipation of what’s to come. But he decided to go another route. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And while he was still successful in making a quality film,
the story is ultimately about a bunch of nerds talking about scientific theory.
Both of my parents were scientists, and while they were both funny and
intriguing, they were clearly the outliers. He tried to make them interesting
by showing how much of a womanizer Oppenheimer was and by giving us some insight
into their free thinking and passion for their work; but in the end, they were
just dudes with pocket protectors trying to outsmart one another. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Most of the subcommittee interrogations and really all of
the communist rallies could have been cut from this film, saving us 70-80
minutes of rather boring dialogue. Had he simply focused Oppenheimer’s early
education, his assembling of his Manhattan Project team, the testing of the
bomb, and the aftermath that followed, this would have been a perfect film. The
acting in it is flawless. Matt Damon steals every scene he’s in, Cillian
Murphy, Downey Jr. and Emily Blunt deserve Oscar nominations, and even though
she was grossly underutilized, Florence Pugh brings unforgettable sexiness to a
film that sorely needed it. Yes, she does get naked for all you pervs out there
(me raising hand). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But in the end, this movie falls well short of expectations.
The more I think about it, the more I actually think I like this film, so I’ll
give it a rating of FRESH but I wouldn’t be mad at you for waiting until it’s
available on HBO Max. It is three hours long. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I could complain about the fact they don’t show anything
that happened in Japan but this review is getting way too long just like the
film. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjPEKwc_yIwJxcxZyB9zI2PuqBKkCqTaclaJVqvVWM--lNw_qsXhgcwMPYCjXcrpexzhLBU09c18QoDhtj_jEvWME09haBQBijjeF53dIsOt6P3WK4UayER2VNPmFW0KrBX4lsszIuGd9pv2VN6CEAJGXplToKNTXuTbcGQo-Gmu3PNz3m8HXlib8olke0" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="562" data-original-width="1000" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjPEKwc_yIwJxcxZyB9zI2PuqBKkCqTaclaJVqvVWM--lNw_qsXhgcwMPYCjXcrpexzhLBU09c18QoDhtj_jEvWME09haBQBijjeF53dIsOt6P3WK4UayER2VNPmFW0KrBX4lsszIuGd9pv2VN6CEAJGXplToKNTXuTbcGQo-Gmu3PNz3m8HXlib8olke0" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-26265775244632075672023-07-14T13:28:00.002-07:002023-07-14T13:28:42.509-07:00Asteroid City <p>We are quickly approaching the anniversary of me nearly
finding my long-lost British wife! It was my first night in Vancouver B.C. and this
random couple, whom I just met for two minutes mind you, said to me, “Yo! We
have the perfect girl for you!” I’m sorry, what? You’ve known me for two
minutes and already you’re trying to set me up with someone? Is she Eastern
European and chained in a basement somewhere? Is this some Eyes Wide Shut nonsense
that you’re going to use to blackmail me so I’m forever indebted to some Canadian
Mountie? I’m a Black man in America, I can never be a spy for Canada. People
suspect me of nefarious activities constantly! There’s no way this will work!</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But to my surprise, this woman with the most incredible lips
I’ve ever seen in my life walks around the corner. And once she flipped her high-end
Pantene induced flowing hair (or whatever women use) and spoke in that amazing
British accent of hers, I was done for! But, as I tend to do, I of course told her
some lame joke and she was immediately turned off. I spent the rest of the
night convincing her that I wasn’t a moron. And, thankfully for me, the house band
playing that night played a Childish Gambino cover. This led to us getting on
the dance floor and that’s when she was finally convinced. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I then was somehow able to convince her to come back to my
hotel with me but, on the walk there, we ran across these two skateboarding
miscreants. I knew they were trouble upon first glance and I should’ve
immediately stopped and gotten us an Uber, but by the time I decided on this
strategy they noticed us and asked us if we wanted to smoke some weed with
them. She got all excited as apparently she hadn’t smoked weed in years. So,
she runs over to take a few puffs. I tried to slip these little devils a few Canadian
coins to go away but it was too late, the damage had already been done. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The weed was too strong for her and I could immediately tell
something was off. She told me that the weed hit differently than she thought
it would and that she had to go home right away. And before I could even open
my mouth, she pecked me on my cheek, hopped in an Uber, and was gone forever! I
turned to look at the Avril Lavigne wannabes and all they could do was shrug
their shoulders and say, “Sorry, eh!” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If I weren’t already indebted to the local Mountie I would’ve
knocked them both out right then and there but alas, I was left to walk to my
hotel alone. And as I took that frustratingly long walk back to solitude, I couldn’t
help but wonder, “Was I past my prime? Am I too old for the game? What the hell
is wrong with me? Maybe it’s time for me to get out!” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And I truly believe that these are the very questions Wes
Anderson should be asking himself today. Have you seen his last few films? He’s
had a total of 3 good ones in the past 20 years. Seriously, look it up; 3 total
films that you’d actually watch again. And don’t get me wrong, I used to love
his work. Hell, I dressed up as Pele Dos Santos (Seu Jorge) from The Life Aquatic
for Halloween and have been to many Wes Anderson themed parties over the years.
But man, I nearly fell asleep during The French Dispatch, and the poor couple
next to me were full on snoring during it. And Isle of Dogs was entertaining for
about 20 minutes, but after a while, old white men talking in proper English can
only work for so long; I eventually need a story I actually care about. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It's like he’s become the white version of Tyler Perry. He
just chooses, as of late anyway, the worst of white people and decides to tell
their boring ass stories. And yes, I know that racist, closed-minded whites are
the worst of white people but at least they drink cheap beer and write songs
that can be played in strip clubs. The people he’s writing about have literally
nothing of interest going on in their lives. And I know that I usually cannot
relate to white people in the first place but even the white people I know cant
relate to these characters. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And sadly, that trend continued in Asteroid City. This story,
if you can call it that, takes place in some random small town in the desert
that resembles Roswell, New Mexico. Its only claim to fame is the fact that an
asteroid from outer space landed there years ago. And each year they invite 5
young aspiring scientists or inventors to showcase their latest inventions in
hopes of winning the grand prize and some low-level recognition. People come
from all over to participate and it’s an annual celebration of the rock that
landed from outer space. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And during this celebration, you meet Augie Steenbeck (Jason
Schwartzman) who is driving his son and three daughters to Asteroid City so
that his nerdy and awkward son can participate in the competition. His car
breaks down on arrival and while they way for it to be fixed, you learn that
Augie’s wife recently died after a long battle with some serious illness. And
as he’s trying to juggle everything that’s happening in his life, he meets a world-famous
actress in Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson) who has been married three or
four times herself and also shares in his struggle with dealing major life
changes. She’s in Asteroid City preparing for her next role as her daughter is
also a part of this weird celebration.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But trust me when I say that how I described it sounds way
sweeter than it actually is. Neither of them seems to be too broken up about
their past spouses and Augie has even thought about leaving his children behind.
And while you process everything I just said, you’re also introduced to a host
of other irrelevant characters who do or say nothing remotely interesting
themselves. There’s a random group of church kids on a field trip, there’s a cowboy
country and western band who also happen to be nearby, and there are the people
who are in charge of the festival; whose lives seemingly revolve around it and
nothing else. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But here’s the kicker, none of this is really happening because
what you are witnessing is an adaption of a play written by Conrad Earp (Ed Norton).
But you’re not watching the play itself, just some dude (Bryan Cranston) talking
about the play as if it’s a real-life event. If none of that makes sense, it’s
because it doesn’t. What matters is, what you’re seeing isn’t even a real
story. So, Wes Anderson goes out of his way to tell you that what you’re watching
means nothing, has no connection to reality, and has no hidden moral message of
any kind in it. You’re just wasting $15 of 90+ minutes of your time to look at
beautiful an talented people waste their beauty and talent on complete nonsense.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But hey, if you like to see pretty colors and beautiful cinematography,
by all means, smoke some of that strong Canadian weed, eat some mushrooms, and
go have a ball watching this complete waste of $25 million. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I give this movie a rating of WACK!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEggMrAORxW57i_3fnX4pkgXel20bgFwEGI4yQgDDYoKky3CWFqRH3Wf1M1XPXUsle6xKShAGzDAIX0N9nVQxkUzlbD2yxmJm9RXrKtaihYN9W6pM_FFgMHqwxgPiZ0IXTv7ymcMArDKDGyvac9GskQm635o6PFAUDmE_F8to-PPNcQrUzuEVarOTT3UuYw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEggMrAORxW57i_3fnX4pkgXel20bgFwEGI4yQgDDYoKky3CWFqRH3Wf1M1XPXUsle6xKShAGzDAIX0N9nVQxkUzlbD2yxmJm9RXrKtaihYN9W6pM_FFgMHqwxgPiZ0IXTv7ymcMArDKDGyvac9GskQm635o6PFAUDmE_F8to-PPNcQrUzuEVarOTT3UuYw" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-68330149885726206742023-07-12T12:44:00.001-07:002023-07-12T12:44:46.563-07:00Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One <p>Tom Cruise is 61 years old and he’s still doing all of his
own stunts! I’ll say that again, Tom Cruise is 61 and he’s doing more than just
accidentally butt dialing his smartphone and thinking that Twitter is an old
Looney Tunes show. Hell, I’m nowhere near his age and I’ve already reverted
back to calling laptops, “labtops”. So, what the hell am I doing with my life?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll tell you what I’m doing! I’m finally starting my
mid-life crisis! Yes, I’ve already dated a girl who was nearly half my age but
that’s child’s play! Look at Al Pacino and Bob De Niro, I’m not really doing
ish until I impregnate someone 50 years younger than me. So, I’ve got some work
to do there. But in the meantime, I rented a Dodge Charger in LA just so I could
drive 100 mph in the slow lane and yell at all the Black people who were crying
and slowly driving out of Inglewood after being forced to move so a Black Swan
Yoga could take over their homes! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But where I really found my next calling in life was rolling
through Rodeo Drive blaring Rodeo Drive by Rage Against the Machine. There I saw
my future self. I saw this rich fat, old dude being dragged from store to store
by his much younger and hotter wife who looked like and was dressed like a Barbie
clone. Barbie does Rodeo! And their two children also looked like and were
dressed like Barbie and Ken! The little girl’s outfit matched her mom’s and the
little boy had a pink blazer with white knit pants! It was incredible! This
old, fat dude had hit the jackpot! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Hell, I’m already halfway there with the fatness, all I need
now is the money! But the difference with me is, I will teach my kids reverse cultural
appropriation. Since they will be half black and half white, I’ll make sure
their hair is extra curly so they look like Jack Harlow. But as opposed to
doing it so they can get rich off of looking white (although that would be a
nice side benefit) they’ll do it so the cops wont shoot them for driving around
in a Barbie mobile. I can’t be the angry, crying Black man on CNN. But by the
time I accomplish all of this, I think the 70’s will be back in style, so I’ll have
to teach them how to say things like “Jive turkey” and “Solid as a rock”. I’ll
call them Wigga Ken and Wigga Barbie. I’m sure I’ll be loved in all the PTA
meetings. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, what’s the point of all this? I’m coming for you Cruise!
You’ll be jealous of me when I turn 61! But in the meantime, I am willing to
concede defeat to you. I just saw his latest film and I have to say that this
freak of nature continues to amaze me! I own way too many Tom Cruise films:
Collateral, Jerry Maguire, Edge of Tomorrow, Oblivion, Mission Impossible I…and
those are just the ones I’m not ashamed to list here. Xenu continues to work
wonders with this dude and MI 7 is no different. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is called on to work yet another impossible
mission to retrieve both parts of a key that could hold “the key” to bringing a
stop to a rogue AI program that can infiltrate every computer system in the
world. It has left its digital footprint everywhere and no one knows what its endgame
is but it has already destroyed a supposedly untraceable Soviet submarine in
the artic somewhere. And whoever gets their hands on this key, could not only possibly
destroy this AI but worse, control it. This, of course, could lead to all sorts
of deadly consequences. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, here’s where my only issue with the movie comes in. Had
they simply explained it in that manner and just gave you a ton of action
scenes around it, everything would have been fine! But boy, do they over
dramatize this plot. There’s all sorts of slow motion gazes with raised eyebrows
and dramatic music as someone slowly stands up to display one half of the key.
We get it, AI is scary, but trust me, waking up your girlfriend, who is NOT a
morning person, for morning sex is way scarier! Try getting elbowed in the penis
twenty times at 8 in the morning and then come talk to me about a key! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, once they get past this and you get over the fact
that one of the main bad guys, who appears to be working on the side of the
rogue AI, is simply an older and slower version of the Dos Equis man, the movie
is actually on point. I just wish they had chosen to play Juvenile’s Slow
Motion for Me every time this dude was in an action scene. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And speaking of action scenes, they are the main reason why
you need to see this film in the theater. Watching these elaborate and intense
car chasing scenes on a 50 foot screen is something you wont forget anytime
soon. The train scene is one that will go down as an instant classic as parts
of it remind you of what Christopher Nolan pulled off in Inception, and of
course seeing Cruise leap off of a mountain in what is basically a scooter is
breathtaking. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As hokey as the plot sounds, it actually is a fairly decent
storyline, it’s just that they do kind of ham it up a bit. But outside of that,
this film was definitely worth the price of admission and I found myself
actually disappointed that the film was over when the final credits started rolling.
I wasn’t disappointed because of the lack of quality, I was disappointed
because I was ready for more. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, this movie is certainly no jive turkey on Thanksgiving,
I give it a rating of VERY FRESH! <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgaB62TA3TCSlLEK4lLP9bUtzqzBcg3KDPCycM7kplbhpA5flLL3p61E73-10md0O1t8TImDGT9vtCka_THg7-VJgGrjFanxyf4rl0eHp4-FUSFF05Caw1LIIBIeuiwt6S0vu6VS6C3jTZc4Ef38QwBulsOokM9Emm0gAFy7mLFeiCVqVtnzQL56KwiRG4" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1500" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgaB62TA3TCSlLEK4lLP9bUtzqzBcg3KDPCycM7kplbhpA5flLL3p61E73-10md0O1t8TImDGT9vtCka_THg7-VJgGrjFanxyf4rl0eHp4-FUSFF05Caw1LIIBIeuiwt6S0vu6VS6C3jTZc4Ef38QwBulsOokM9Emm0gAFy7mLFeiCVqVtnzQL56KwiRG4" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-51876693084019806382021-11-24T10:49:00.001-08:002021-11-24T10:49:14.848-08:00Ghostbuster: Afterlife<p>Please take it easy on me as I’m a little rusty at this
movie reviewing stuff. I just figured that it was probably better for my
relationship that I stop writing for a bit so that my girlfriend wouldn’t accidently
happen upon one of my past articles,
become completely horrified by some of the tales of my bachelorhood, and
instantly decide to leave me. Well, as it turned it out, she left me anyway, so
maybe someone decided to sabotage the relationship by sending her the review
where I talked about being in love with the lead singer of White Dress. In that
piece, I spoke of my brilliant plan to hide in the rafters of the venue she was
playing that night and how I planned on swooping down with my black cape and giant
fishnet to snatch her up and take her away with me.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now I get it, on the surface that sounds creepy as fuck, but
creepy is in the dark basement of the beholder. To me, that sounds like true
love! But now that I think about it, whoever sent her that article might have
done so to get my girlfriend out of the picture so they could have me all to
themselves! And that type of diabolical cunning could be the type of love I
need in my life right now. So, whoever you are out there, this old scrub is
waiting for you! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And speaking of old, only a reboot of an old classic like
Ghostbusters could get me out of retirement. And yes, just like Tom Brady, I
refuse to go away. No one asks him to keep coming back but for some reason he continues
to do so. Anyhow, when I saw that Paul Rudd was involved, I got unbelievably
excited! Now, I wont rehash my previous review on the female Ghostbusters,
because that article kept me from getting laid for almost three months! Things
were so bad that when Oceans 8 came out, I automatically gave it a great review
just because I couldn’t spend another night debating whether or not the cost of
a flesh light was too much. I couldn’t take another streak like that! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I digress. When I saw the first trailer for the new Ghostbusters,
I actually got chills! You have to realize something, for someone who’s seen
literally over a thousand movies in the past nine or ten years, that’s rare. And
when you add to the fact that Paul Rudd just won the Sexiest Man Alive award,
how can you not be excited? He’s like 75 and still looks like he did when he
was in Clueless. His grandfather must’ve been a slave owner and he’s the third
generation of that forced “love affair” because he must have some black in him.
How do I know this? Because I’m 85 years old and Black and I look the same as I
did when Clueless came out; except I’m not winning any awards! This is why they
need to come out with a magazine that celebrates old hipsters! If there was an
award for old scrubs who still stage dive at punk shows while drinking Lone
Stars and liquor that tastes like peppermint; I’d clean up! For some reason my
friends have resurrected Rumplemintz and Goldschlager from our high school
days. Or, if there was an award for old scrubs who randomly blurt out lyrics
from The Thong Song while doing the Sisqo yell regardless of where they are or
what the situation is, I’d win that award every year! Someone get me Tori
Spelling on the line, we need to make this happen. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, the point is, Paul Rudd inspired me! So, here we
are, just a few days before Thanksgiving and I’m risking life and limb to watch
an old sexy man chase around ghosts. Well, the first thing I should mention is
that the producers were smart to put Paul Rudd in all of the previews and media
interviews as he is clearly the main draw for this film. But, this is similar
to when the studios promoted the casting of Steven Segal in the movie that was
really all about Kurt Russell, Executive Decision. They sold you on the fact
that a big action star was in it when in reality he was only in the film for
like 15 minutes. Well it’s the same with Paul Rudd and Ghostbusters; he’s
definitely in the movie, and provides the much needed comic relief, but he’s basically
a glorified extra with some funny lines. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now don’t get me wrong, he of course steals every scene he’s
in; especially when he shows a classroom full of 12 year old kids a host of classic
R rated horror films. But this reboot is all about the kids themselves, or as
they billed it, the new generation. It puts it’s focus on the new Egon, Phoebe
(Mckenna Grace) and the new Ray, Podcast (Logan Kim). They also throw in Phoebe’s
older brother Trevor but he’s only there so they have someone old enough to
drive them around. Now typically I avoid movies that stars little kids with
everything that’s within me, mainly because the writers have them saying and
doing things they would never say or be able to do in real life, but thankfully
that wasn’t the case here. These were just normal, run of the mill, nerdy kids
who were totally relatable. And when it came to the action scenes they were in,
they actually had a pretty cool and thrilling set piece where they are speeding
through town chasing after a ghost while blasting everything in sight! Yes, they
basically lived out every 12 year-old’s wet dream in the 80’s which was to shoot
an actual proton pack! I found myself cheering and rooting for these little
kids and I don’t think it’s because I’m old enough to be a grandfather, I think
it’s because it was actual good filmmaking. Damnit, these kids were likeable! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Podcast, is loner kid who has a podcast about unsolved mysteries
and weird happenings. And similarly, Phoebe is a fellow loner who is smarter
than everyone she comes into contact with, including Paul Rudd’s character who happens
to be a seismologist. The writers went a little too overboard with all of her
dad jokes but for the most part it was okay. They started off on fire but they
progressively got worse and a little painful as the movie went on; but again, I
respected their efforts. I actually have a book full of dad jokes, they should
just hit me up next time if they need some material. But, if a kid telling dad
jokes for two hours is my only complaint, I’ll take that every time. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Plus this films also stars Carrie Coon as Phoebe and Trevor’s
mother. A quick word on her; it’s great to see that Hollywood is casting her
and her clone, Vera Farmiga in films. It’s refreshing to see both beautiful and
talented actresses get roles these days. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Jessica
Alba, Denise Richards, Neve Campbell and the like, but man, I could only stare
at boobs for so long before I wanted a little something more. And no perverts,
I don’t mean that! Although I do kind of mean that too. But in the context of
movies, I need to actually believe that you can be a rocket scientist or a sassy
and street smart genetically engineered killing machine. Carrie Coon has the
talent to do that! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She is guiding force in this film as she is forced to move
her and her two kids out to some random country town in Oklahoma. This is due
to the fact that she is broke and her father, who she claims abandoned her and
her mother, has left her a piece of land as her inheritance. Her kids have
never met their grandfather and the only thing they know about him is that he
was known as the “dirt farmer”; some aloof weirdo who lived out on this farm by
himself and never actually grew any crops. The only thing he ever did was keep
to himself and buy random parts and machinery from the local dealer. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Well, as the kids learn more and more about this broken down
old house, strange things start to happen and they begin to learn more about their
grandfather and what it was that he was actually doing out there. And as they
discover some hidden secrets, you start to see quite a few little nuggets from
the original film. This movie is full of subtle and not so subtle nods to the original.
You see the stacked books from the library, the chair that Dana Gordon sat in
as she became possessed, you of course see their classic car, the weird helmet
that Rick Moranis wore and there’s even an updated version of Slimer. People
were literally cheering and gasping in the theater as these pieces of their
childhood were brought back to the big screen. And I have to say, for those
moments alone, seeing this film is worth it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Of course, all of the actors from the original, outside of
Moranis, make an appearance and when they do so, it’s actually critical to what’s
happening in the context of the storyline. So they’re not there to simply
collect a check. I thought this film was thoughtful and took its time in
connecting the past to the present. The editors chopped it up a bit once the ghosts
started to appear, probably because they felt it was a little too long, but if
we can a 5 hour movie about some white savior kid in Dune, then damnit, we
deserve a three hour quality film about busting ghosts! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I absolutely loved this film and I give it a rating of
TIGHT! <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJqwOUsHXoh1Fu7rrH_XFDdBPirSQ0KjTKHBNGgz_gwiI0-SRKtsxa5cAScDxStv4DI4DDQ0n3upHEPHmIcw8U9-TECzy_sq54zYjDbVc5qcO_naiZXkBGW6DdGDte4UkL5d-JnPUnxqU//" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="383" data-original-width="681" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJqwOUsHXoh1Fu7rrH_XFDdBPirSQ0KjTKHBNGgz_gwiI0-SRKtsxa5cAScDxStv4DI4DDQ0n3upHEPHmIcw8U9-TECzy_sq54zYjDbVc5qcO_naiZXkBGW6DdGDte4UkL5d-JnPUnxqU//" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><p></p>KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-83503024730954800922020-06-13T10:34:00.002-07:002020-06-13T22:16:24.421-07:00The George Floyd Experience <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I ask that you please bear with me as I take you through
this emotional journey of mine. I promise that the final destination will be
one that will give you a pretty clear picture of what a lot of Black people are
feeling right now. I grew up in a small town in South Texas that was for the
most part segregated. And no I’m not 65 years old and am recalling the days of
when television and movies were all in black and white, I grew up watching G.I.
Joe and reruns of Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, so it was a time where
you would think we would be living in a more civilized society. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The town I lived in wasn’t overtly racist or anything but we
did have high schools that were predominantly white or predominantly black and
brown; and thankfully for the cokeheads out there, we did have a private Catholic
high school where no one would judge you if you happened to have a “random
nosebleed”. So, it was basically Robert Downey Jr.’s wet dream before he got
sober and became Ironman. On occasion there would be the random kid who yelled the
word nigger at me, and of course since I went to the white high school and didn’t
look and act like the Black people they saw in movies, they would say ignorant
things like “Oh, you’re not really black” or “I’m blacker than you are”. Let me
help you out white people, just because you’ve heard an Outkast song or two,
that doesn’t give you the normal experience of a Black human in this world. I
use this word human because there weren’t very many moments in my life where I
actually felt like people viewed me as such; I’ve always either been seen as an
encyclopedia for insight into Black history or merely a punching bag for those to
unleash their casual racism on. The latter of which are the people who tell you racist
jokes to prove they’re not actually racist; they tell you these awful things to
show you that they are more woke than other white people. Well let me clue you
in on something, that crap isn’t funny and it never will be! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, it wasn’t long before I realized that small town Texas just
wasn’t for me. My grandfather would tell me stories of how every time we drove
through Austin, Texas I would tell him how I wanted to live there when I got
older. I loved the sight of the Frank Erwin Center and even as a kid, 6<sup>th</sup>
street (now known as Dirty 6<sup>th</sup>) sounded like a place that everyone
could enjoy. Well wouldn’t you know it, even though I didn’t consciously make
the decision to live up to that childhood dream of mine, here I am! And
honestly, at least initially, it was everything I had hoped for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But before we get to that, I had never really experienced
any type of police harassment when I lived in that small town in Texas. I mean,
I had heard stories from my friends who went to the black and brown school and how
they were treated unfairly. And of course, my parents, aunts, uncles, and
grandparents told me all of the horror stories they experienced when they were
growing up but that all sounded like a foreign movie to me. Don’t get me wrong,
my friend and I had the random “being followed around the store” experience
quite a bit but the hip hop I listened to prepared me for that. It was the truly
brutal images that Tupac and Ice Cube painted when they eloquently described
the things that were happening in their neighborhoods that seemed like
something that would occur in a foreign land, not anything that would happen here.
It wasn’t until I went to college in Dallas that I got my first taste of what
most of my Black brothers and sisters had been telling me for years. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to a private school where a lot of CEO’s, government
officials, and school presidents sent their kids to get their education so they
could follow in their footsteps. My middle-class self was there on scholarship
and was simply hoping to graduate. But to their credit none of the students
made me feel like I was out of place, not until it was time to rush for a
fraternity that is; that’s where I saw their desire to find a token Black kid to
prove that they were diverse and progressive. I also saw a fraternity proudly
displaying their Confederate flag and their all Black cleaning crew to let me
know that I clearly wasn’t welcomed there unless I had a broom in hand. That
was a pretty disgusting display but it was nothing that truly shocked me; I did
grow up in South Texas after all. But the first day that I noticed cops following
me around campus was the day that I started to fear for my life. My cousins,
along with my brother who had all lived in Dallas for most of their lives,
warned me about the cops and their attitudes towards Black people but for the
most part I brushed it off. It wasn’t until I noticed that both the campus cops
and the DPD were immediately turning around and following me the second they
saw a Black man driving onto this campus that I realized something was off. They
were not hiding the fact that they were calling into dispatch to see if the
little Chevy S-10 pickup I was driving was reported stolen. It didn’t matter
that I looked 16 and was wearing Steve Urkel glasses as I was driving, all they
saw was someone who was guilty until proven innocent; the exact opposite of
what this country’s justice system is built on. And after following me for
quite some time, they finally decided that I wasn’t up to anything nefarious and
would eventually drive off but this was something that happened multiple times a week
literally every week I was in school. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of people now, and even then, when I told kids about
this, would say that I was simply being dramatic or paranoid but none of my
white friends ever had this happen to them. My brother and cousins told me
story after story of being harassed by cops and now suddenly this felt like
something that could happen to me! I made up my mind right then and there that
I had to get out of that town. And that’s how I ended up in Austin. Now you
must be asking, well what does any of this have to do with George Floyd? Trust
me, I’m getting there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I finally get to my sanctuary, Austin Texas, land of live
music, bar-b-que, and lots and lots of white people. The last part is significant
because it reminded me of high school, as long as I hang out with a lot of
white people, I’ll be just fine. Sure, as I went to my Black church on Sundays
I heard stories of how bad the cops were but again, it all felt foreign to me, I
didn’t see any of this myself so it couldn’t be true; not here in Austin! It
wasn’t until I moved to the black and brown side of town to be closer to the
live music that I finally had my moment. I was walking home by myself from a
show and all of a sudden, I see a car speeding towards me going at least 50 mph
on a residential street. Keep in mind, this is the poorer side of town, so there’s
no sidewalk, I have no choice but to walk on the grass or walk on the street
like everyone else did. Well seeing as how I see a car coming that fast at this
time of the night, I automatically assume it’s a drunk driver and I casually
step behind one of the many parked cars on the street to keep from getting hit.
The next thing I know these bright lights start flashing and an angry cop jumps
out of the passenger seat. He runs towards me and unsnaps the button to the holder
that’s holding his gun so that he can draw it on me! I have no idea what’s going
on but I immediately throw my hands in the air and ask what the hell is happening.
He’s very aggressive, gets right in my face and asks me what the hell I’m doing.
I brown out at this point due to my fear and have no clue what transpires for
the most part after that but I will tell you that I still look like Urkel at
this point. I’m just a little older but there’s nothing remotely frightening
about me. I’m simply walking home just like the dozens of white people had done
prior to me as they walked back to the newly built condo that fully represented
the gentrification that was taking place on that side of town. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only thing I remember was telling him that I was walking
home and asking him to take a long hard look at how I was dressed; how could I
be up to anything. He said, while never taking his hand off his gun, that the
area had a lot of break-ins recently and he was ensuring that I wasn’t trying
to steal a car. Well what’s funny is that none of my white friends who had also
gone out that night had a run in with these cops; apparently, I was the only
one who was pulled over. I don’t think I can overemphasize what it feels like
to have a cop ready to draw his deadly weapon on you while he screams in your
face but believe me when I say it’s traumatizing; especially when you consider
all of the experiences your family and friends have shared with you before this.
I didn’t go into specifics about what was shared with me until now for a reason
because I wanted you to think about what was running through my mind as this
happened. In this moment, I was thinking of all the beatings, the raping, and
the killings that I had been warned about and it was when I had this cop
intimidating me that I thought I was going to be another statistic. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eventually the cop let me go without an apology but as I
walked home, I realized that ever since college I had been literally and audibly
gasping every time I saw a cop. I had suppressed these reactions and my general
fear of the police because I wanted to maintain the illusion of safety in my
sanctuary; Austin couldn’t be like this, not the place with the Frank Erwin
Center and 6<sup>th</sup> street. But it was true! And to this day, I audibly
gasp in fear when I see a cop. I always think at that moment, is this the time
where CNN will run a story about me? Will I be one of the thousands of stories
that don’t make the news? Will my mom have to cry over loss of a son that’s
done absolutely nothing wrong? Clearly, they don’t see any difference between
someone with a criminal record and someone who has a college education; we all look
the same to them. This is a feeling no one should have to live with every day.
No one should live in fear of the people who were hired to protect them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now finally George Floyd. We of course all remember what
happened to the innocent teen who was simply walking home with a soda and a bag
of Skittles (Trayvon Martin) and was shot dead by a racist white man. We all
remember Eric Garner being understandably upset after being stopped for the 30<sup>th</sup>
time by cops on the street and subsequently being suffocated to death over some
loose cigarettes. We remember the 12-year-old kid (Tamir Rice) who was playing
by himself in a park with a cap gun being gunned down by a policeman because he
was seen as a threat. We all remember Sandra Bland driving home from work committing
“suicide” in prison after being arrested for an illegal lane change. We all
remember Ahmaud Arbery being murdered by racists in Georgia for having the
audacity to jog in their neighborhood. We of course remember Breonna Taylor
being shot and killed in her own bed because her boyfriend fit the description
of someone they already had in custody. We all remember George Floyd being
gruesomely killed in the middle of the street in broad daylight by a cop for 8
minutes and 46 seconds over the possibility that he may have used a fake $20
bill. Not many of us know of Fred Hampton being set up and killed by the FBI in
his own bed for trying to unify black, brown, and white people to help edify
the lower income and disenfranchised communities. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And after each one of these incidents, Black people were
enraged and sometimes even marched for justice. But it wasn’t until we had been
forced to stay at home for months at a time due to Coronavirus that a true movement
was seemingly underway. It wasn’t until millions of people were unemployed,
depressed, angry, and forced to look at the horror of the George Floyd murder that
people of all races, backgrounds, and socio-economic status started to get off
the couch and protest in anger! We saw buildings burn, highways get blocked off,
and stores being looted. It seemed like real change was happening! I even saw white
people form a wall in front of Black people to keep them from being tear gassed!
Could this finally be it? Could this finally be the moment where we see the government get called out for using the clause in the 13<sup>th</sup> Amendment to keep slavery
legal? Could I finally feel safe walking out of my apartment again? People had
to keep this going until they saw change! They had to be tired of seeing what I
was seeing, Black people repeatedly dying at the hands of the cops! They had to
finally be tired of white people coming up with excuses as to why these cops
killed so many Blacks, tired of seeing the unbelievable discrepancy in Black
people being pulled over and arrested. The country had to finally see that
systemic racism didn’t end when Obama was elected. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well as it turned out, I should have paid attention to my
Black friends and family when they all looked at me with the side eye as I said
these things to them. I was so excited and so passionate over the fact that
change was going to come like Sam Cooke had promised! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen White, Asian, and Hispanic people
at these marches. People were posting constantly about racism and how they could
get better. People were buying books online and were donating to and joining organizations
like Black Lives Matter! NASCAR and even the NFL were changing their tone! But
all the while my Black friends were telling me, just wait; we’ve seen this movie
before and we know how it ends. Well three weeks into the movement, after George
Floyd’s final funeral, after a few lame press conferences where empty promises
were being made, it seems like everything has returned to “normal”. There’s
less coverage of the actual protests and what the people really want, social
media posts are returning to their normal mundane bullshit, and the return of
sports is just around the corner. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve gone downtown to the Austin Police Department and the
State Capitol and there are fewer and fewer people gathered there each day. People
have their Facebook and Instagram posts of them attending marches, they’ve
ordered their book from a black owned store, and they’ve told their black
friend that they’re an ally so now they feel good about themselves. But at the
end of the day, police departments and city councils will delay the official
votes on the changes they've proposed, the police unions will reject them and things
will stay the same. And even in the cities where the proposed changes pass, the
cops and the culture all still remain in place, so they of course won’t take
the changes seriously and will continue to do what they’ve been trained to do. They
will focus on criminalization and approaching every person who doesn’t look
like them as the enemy. White people won’t notice this because their lives won’t
change but me and my fellow Black friends will certainly notice. We’ll continue
to live in fear each and every time we see a cop. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will forever remember the day that I walked home from a night
of what I thought would be more protests. To this point, I had pleaded with
cops to stop killing us and shouted the chants that everyone else had chanted, “No
Justice, No Peace”, “Black Lives Matter”, “What’s His Name? George Floyd!” And
with each chant, I had several cops look at me as if they wanted to jump and
beat me right then and there. Well the night I was walking home by myself with my
protest sign, the streets were empty because people had lost interest in the protest
and most of the bars and restaurants were closed due to Covid-19. So, it was just
me, my protest sign, and the random cops on bikes and motorized vehicles who
were passing by me. These cops had been working 12 hour shifts and were clearly
on edge after two plus weeks of people yelling at them; there was nothing to
keep them from unleashing their frustration on me. It was in this moment that I once again feared walking the streets of my sanctuary city! And sadly, ever since
that day, that feeling has never left me. I honestly don’t feel as though there’s
any place in America where I can feel safe. No significant changes have been
made and my Black friends who were suspect were right all along; this is the
worst version of Groundhog Day that has ever existed! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Black Lives Matter protests spread to Europe - CNN" height="225" src="https://dynaimage.cdn.cnn.com/cnn/c_fill,g_auto,w_1200,h_675,ar_16:9/https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.cnn.com%2Fcnnnext%2Fdam%2Fassets%2F160711145409-london-black-lives-matter.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<br />
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-46503651002960382502020-03-03T18:31:00.009-08:002021-11-24T14:59:28.201-08:00The Invisible Man<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another Black History Month has come and gone, and while we
did gain an extra day this year, that’s about all we got. We couldn’t even get
five minutes into our 800th viewing of The Color Purple before the
damn Coronavirus broke out and started grabbing everyone’s attention. It couldn’t
have come out a month before when everyone was cooped up inside because of the
cold weather? The breakout would’ve ended right then and there because we were
all too busy ordering tacos from Uber Eats, watching hours upon hours of Netflix,
and banging each other senseless; no one was going outside to spread germs! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But no, it had to reach its peak in February, so instead of
hearing about Frederick Douglas and George Washington Carver, we get to hear
how the economy is going to hell because Becky and Daryl are too scared to go out to Whole Foods
and get their kale salad for fear of getting sick; never mind the fact that Becky and Daryl just had unprotected sex the night before. The HPV vaccine doesn’t protect you
from everything Becky, I’m just saying. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But enough complaining about a glorified flu (update - the Coronavirus turned out to be very real) and picking on poor
Becky with the good hair. We did get one final treat before March hit and that
was the release of The Invisible Man. Sadly no, this was not an adaptation of
the book by Ralph Ellison, this was a horror movie starring one of the palest
movie stars in the game today, Elisabeth Moss. Why was this a treat for Black
people? Well it’s because Black people LOVE horror films, even though we are
always the first ones to die in them. It gives us a chance to see someone else die
and/or run for their lives for a change. It’s cathartic for us! Now I realize that
we are way too loud in the movie theater and I know that we always sneak in
food (possibly Popeye’s) and smell like weed but hey, it’s our one month to act
up. This is our 28 day Get Out of Jail free card. Okay, bad example but you get
my point. Just let us yell at people trying to escape from axe murderers for
once, we only get so many pleasures in this life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So naturally I go see The Invisible Man opening night and I
of course wind up sitting next to a Black lady who legit sneaked in an entire
meal. It smelled like I was at a family reunion BBQ. It was fantastic! But just
before I could ask for a rib and a scoop of potato salad, the lights went down
and the movie started. Blumhouse Studios have become the masters of making good
low budget horror films. It forces the directors to rely on storytelling,
camera angles, and good old fashion acting to make the movies work. They can’t
just simply throw a bunch of money into terrible CGI to try and make the
monsters scary, they actually have to be good at film making. And that’s exactly
what we got in this film.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At first, I don’t think that even Elisabeth Moss thought that
this was going to be a good film. You could tell that early on she was mailing
it in but as the story kept unfolding and she realized that this was in fact a
pretty decent story, she put her acting chops on full display and you could see
why she’s quickly becoming an A-list star. For those who haven’t seen the
trailer, the premise is her husband has died and left her quite a bit of money,
however in order for her to be eligible to receive the money she must not be
arrested for any criminal activity and she cannot be found to be mentally
incompetent. Which, anyone who knows me, knows that those requirements immediately
put me on the outside looking in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But before he dies, you get a small glimpse into what their relationship
was like. It’s full on Sleeping with the Enemy mode. They live in a phat home
right on the beach and her husband controls her every move and thought as there
are security cameras everywhere. We only know this because, like Julia Roberts,
she’s trying to sneak out in the middle of the night without him knowing. Now
at first, I thought this was going to fail because nothing can be scarier than
some British dude with a Tom Selleck mustache sneaking up from behind you and
forcing you to have sex to Berlioz’s haunting symphony. “Yo dude, can we at
least get some Wham? Make me feel special!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the director establishes early on what kind of fright fest
you’re in store for. The entire time she’s trying to escape, the camera slowly
pans away to what appears to be empty and quiet parts of the house, but the
longer the shot stays there, the longer you question if she’s really by herself.
It perfectly captures the creepy feeling we have when we think we’re being
watched or followed. And this continues throughout the entirety of the movie. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now most people will pick up early on that it’s not in fact
a ghost that is haunting her due to a pretty obvious giveaway in the film but
the bolder this thing or being gets, the more you realize that it is in fact
scarier than a British dude with a mustache. By the time this invisible thing
decides to take on an entire police station, you’re convinced that it’s the
ghost of Suge Knight trying to kidnap as many white women as he possibly can. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will say that they spent so much time and effort on the
first two acts of the film that by the time the final scene came around, it
felt like everyone, including Moss, was exhausted and just kind of rushed
through the final scene. So, in that sense, it kind of fell flat but thankfully
it wasn’t enough to kill, no pun intended, everything that took place before
it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thoroughly enjoyed this film and I give it a rating of
pretty FRESH! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Image result for the invisible man" height="179" src="https://i2.wp.com/silverscreenriot.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Screen-Shot-2019-11-07-at-1.07.57-PM.png?resize=670%2C300&ssl=1" width="400" /></div>
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-360819520392134092020-01-25T14:27:00.008-08:002021-11-24T15:03:03.192-08:00Bad Boys for Life<div class="MsoNormal">Remember when you were in your mid to late 20’s and it
seemed as though all of your friends were getting married? You didn’t mind the
fact that every bachelor party was in Las Vegas or if the ceremony just so happened to be a
destination wedding; all that meant was you had the opportunity to get laid
on a beach while people shouted random things at you in a foreign language. “Oui
Oui! Oui Oui!” That’s French for “Bang away Black man! Bang away!” Or something
like that. What can I say, the French are some freaky voyeuristic pervs! And for the
record, I was never cool enough to have sex on a French beach but I do get
mistaken for L.L. Cool J all of the time, so maybe I can convince my girlfriend
to reenact the Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag or Doin It video with me one day
while we’re traveling in the South of France (sorry Mrs. Phillips). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, I have a bachelor party coming up in a few weeks and
we’re flying out to San Francisco for it. Now most people go out to San Fran to
drink wine or to dress up in sparkly rhinestone while flying their freaky flag for
the first time but not us; we’re going to go on a brewery tour. No joke! We’re
flying to the wine capital of the U.S. to drink beer! My buddy just sent me the
itinerary and literally 12 hours of each day involves drinking at a brewery.
There’s not even any time set aside for food, just beer! Oh, but there is one
exception, and that’s for us all to go on a tour of Alcatraz. That’s right, THE
Alcatraz!!! This is a prison that’s on an island all by itself and is world
renowned as the prison that only Sean Connery could break out of. “Welcome to
the Rock!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, in case you haven’t figured out by now, I am a Black
man. Why on earth would I ever voluntarily go to prison? I feel like this whole
trip is a trap! It’s like when they told my African brothers back in the day
that they were giving free swimming lessons off the coast of Cape Town; next
thing you know we’re in America singing Old Negro Spirituals while working in
the fields! No thanks guys, I’m good! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well the same can be said for me going to see a movie about
Black cops. Sure, this was an okay idea over 22 years ago but now it just seems
like a bad propaganda film. “See! Not all cops are bad! We like Black people” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I signed up to be a cop today, all my friends and family
members would immediately disown me, unless of course I looked like Will Smith.
Big Willy Style somehow transcends all barriers even if he did dabble in
Scientology for a bit. And it’s because of Will Smith that I decided to break
down and check out Bad Boys for Life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I figured
that after a 12-year run of average to below average films, he was due to
deliver another hit. How could he let, what is by far his best franchise go up
in flames? So, I decided to look past the fact that Martin Lawrence looked like
a fat grandpa and popped in on opening night. And boy am I thankful that I did!
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first 15 minutes or so will have you rolling your eyes
as it’s full of lame jokes that are clearly retread but once Mike Lowry (Smith)
gets gunned down on the strip of South Beach, you know that it’s officially on!
What intrigued me was the film’s main villain, the super sexy yet spooky Isabel
Aretas. She breaks out of a Mexican prison in the most spectacular of ways,
even if it doesn’t fully make sense, and she immediately goes on a revenge tour
with her son, Armando. Her plan is to kill everyone who not only had something to
do with her being locked up but who also had a hand in the death of her husband,
the head of a deadly Mexican cartel. This includes the judge, the D.A., private
investigators and of course Mike Lowry. Now Mike’s involvement isn’t fully
revealed until much later in the film but once they do expose you to what his actual
role was, you see that this film is more than just a money grab for the studio.
The writers took this film seriously and added a worthy chapter to the Bad Boys
story. They kept the overall spirit of the previous films by putting the focus
on the ride or die bond that exists between Mike and Marcus. And of course, they
were sure to include beautiful shots of South Beach, the beautiful women who
stroll around South Beach, and the over the top action scenes which typically
end with a slow motion shot of the carnage that multiple gun shots and
explosions usually leave behind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since Martin Lawrence is basically a pudgy gnome at this
point and Will Smith is 50 years old, they did have to bring in some younger
blood to provide the crazy stunts that we’ve become accustomed to. So, enter
the previously mentioned Armando, who is basically a Latin ninja, and Mike and
Marcus’s supporting cop unit who is led by one of Mike’s exes in Rita. While the
younger team is annoying at times, there is some pretty good back and forth
banter that occurs between the older and the younger generation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this is the role that Martin Lawrence plays so well, the
comic relief. Since he can’t move around that much anymore, he basically just
cracks joke after hilarious joke, none of which I will spoil for you now. But
just know that there were quite a few times where he had me laughing at an embarrassingly
high volume. And this is what you want in a Bad Boys film – comedy, action, and
beautiful people at every turn. By the time Marcus was gunning down bad guys
with an arsenal of weapons from a side car, I knew this would be an instant
classic. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t let the cheesy previews fool you; this movie is
definitely worth watching. And by the time you leave the theater, you will be
singing Puff Daddy’s “We aint, going nowhere, we aint, going nowhere, we can’t
be stopped now, cuz it’s bad boys for life”. I am giving this movie a rating of
<b>FRESH</b>!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Image result for bad boys for life" height="224" src="https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/200113105331-bad-boys-for-life-exlarge-169.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-48972371880152495732020-01-18T14:25:00.000-08:002020-01-18T14:25:00.597-08:001917<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have you ever had a friend try and talk you into doing something
that wound up being a lot worse than they originally let on? The answer is yes,
I’m sure but there’s a huge difference between someone getting you to try a
cream cheese filled cupcake and you fearing for your life. Well, when it came
to me being bamboozled by my girlfriend, the latter came into play. Recently, we
went to Marfa, TX to celebrate our birthdays and while we were down there, she
thought that it would be a great idea for us to go hiking in Big Bend. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She let me know that it was only a four- or five-mile hike and
considering the fact that I run four miles a day, it shouldn’t be that big of a
deal for me. Keep in mind that I grew up a sheltered black boy in the South, so
the only hiking I was accustomed to was hiking to the grocery store to get more
oil for the weekly fish fry in my dad’s backyard; so needless to say, I had no
idea what I was in for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We get to this mountain, and I do mean mountain, and I
thought to myself, there’s no way in hell we’re going all the way to the top,
it’s like 20 miles straight up. But I couldn’t let my girlfriend see the fear
in my eyes, so I pressed on. Sadly however, as we kept walking, I told her that
I needed a break, we had to be at least 2 miles in…we had only walked like a
half mile at that point. And it was at this point that I noticed the signs all
around us that told us to hide all our food and to beware of bears and mountain
lions. Fucking bears and mountain lions?!?!? This was never presented to me in her
pitch! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now I’m forced to make a choice, if as were climbing Mt.
Everest, I see a mountain lion jump out and attack my girl, do I jump in and
help her out or do I use what little energy I had left to escape? Well I am not
ashamed to admit that I chose the escape option. Sorry baby, the mountain lion
already had white meat, there’s no need for me to jump in and give him a buffet
with dark meat too! I’ll post our trip on Instagram, you’ll live forever in my
memories or at least until the next Instagram comes along. I’ll be single by
the time she reads this. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, that’s pretty much the premise of writer/director
Sam Mendes’s (Skyfall, American Beauty) latest offering in 1917. When I first
saw the title of this film, my initial thought was “Oh great! More people
reminiscing about the ‘good old days’ that weren’t so great for my people”. But
when I realized that it was a war movie about white people shooting other white
people, I was immediately onboard! I’m kidding, I’m kidding of course, for all
you super sensitive people. Well, sort of anyway. I did think that Mendes had
it in him to give us a fresh perspective on WWI and as it turns out, I was
right. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The story starts off by a random commander walking up to
Lance Corporal Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman -Tommen from Game of Thrones) and
telling him to grab someone to go with him to headquarters. He of course grabs
his buddy, Lance Corporal Schofield (George MacKay) who’s sleeping and has no
idea what he’s about to get into. Well once they get to headquarters, they are surprised
to see that the General is there to task them with an important mission that
could save over 1,600 lives; including that of Blake’s brother. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The British army is about to walk into a German trap and
they have less than 24 hours to get the message over to them. And the General
feels as though Blake will obviously risk life and limb to get this message
over to the commanding officer in time as his family member’s life is on the
line. So off he goes with his friend, who is now unwittingly in the shit with
him, to walk in the middle of a war zone to save hundreds of lives. What makes
this film more engaging and moving than that of a similar film in Dunkirk, is
that while no backstory is given for these characters either, Mendes employs a
filming trick to make it seem as though the entire movie is filmed in one shot.
So, you get up close and personal with these characters and it feels as though
you’re the first player in an RPG (role playing game for all my old peeps out there).
You feel every bomb that goes off near them and are dodging every bullet that
whizzes by them. And as you go through these experiences together, it feels as
though you’re getting to know these characters on a personal level. You’re
suffocating along with them as they’re being buried in falling rubble or are falling
into a raging river. You’re leery as you’re about to come to the top of a hill
with no idea if an ambush is awaiting you or not. And you start to think to
yourself, if only the colonel had the new iPhone 11, we could simply send him a
text message about the upcoming ambush and go hit up the nearest pub for a
proper pint and some footie (that’s my attempt to be British). But then you
realize that it’s only 1917 and that the phone was only invented just a few
decades earlier, so you settle back in and continue this journey with your
newfound brothers in arms. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And what else is so great about this filming style is that
it puts the production design on full display. Dennis Gassner (production
design) and cinematographer Roger Deakins should run away with the Oscar in
both categories as what they were able to accomplish added yet another level to
the storytelling. They were able to show the atrocities of war without ever
really zeroing in on a specific item or a singular happening. Instead, as you
embark on this journey with Blake and Schofield, you can’t help but notice the
maimed bodies of fellow soldiers you’re crawling over in the mud or the innocent
animals that are caught in the barb wire you’re trying to avoid. Every dark corner
or shattered home could be the hiding place of a German soldier just waiting to
take you out. The whole film is super intense and you cannot wait until you
reach a safe place where you can finally catch your breath. But then it’s in
that moment that you realize it’s just a matter of time before they send you
off with Blake and Schofield on yet another dangerous mission even if you are
successful in this one. And that’s the beauty of this film, it says and accomplishes
so much without beating a preachy message into you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I clearly loved this film as Sam Mendes once again proves
that he’s one of the best directors in the game. I suggest that you go see this
film, especially since we are a country that’s on the brink of war. I give this
movie a rating of very FRESH! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Image result for 1917" height="233" src="https://i1.wp.com/www.nationalreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/1917-movie.jpg?fit=2057%2C1200&ssl=1" width="400" /></div>
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-24480165417309763892020-01-11T07:48:00.000-08:002020-01-11T07:48:45.624-08:00Just Mercy<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
You would think that in my old age I would recognize a setup
when I see one but sadly, I keep getting seduced by tasty drinks, loud music, and
BBQ. What can I say, it’s in my genes! This past weekend I got frat boy drunk. But
not in the annoying and sexually assaulting way you would normally associate
with such a statement, I was Black frat boy drunk which is something totally
different. What do I mean by this? Well this weekend was Free Week, meaning
that there were a ton of venues that offered free music; so if you walked into
a spot and the music sucked, you could easily walk right back out and hit up
another spot <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>with little to no investment
on your part. But of course, you cannot do all this bar hopping without at the
very least sampling the drinks they offer in each establishment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well suffice it to say that I didn’t realize how many bars I
popped into and how many drinks I had until it was too late. It was at the
point that I was eating pizza and shouting the lyrics of Ice Cube and Dr. Dre’s
Serial Killer that it occurred to me that this was the confession Austin PD had
been waiting for all along! This is all they needed to incarcerate yet another
Black man. I ran as fast as I could while throwing away my hoodie and shouting “I
have asthma” (I don’t have asthma btw) to anyone in sight to ensure that I made
it home safely! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Once I made it home, I figured I was finally in the right
mindset to see the latest drama Just Mercy, the story of a Black man who was on
death row for a crime he didn’t commit. Now I know that I just tried to make light
of what life is like for a Black man in America but you must do these types of things
to keep from crying. And sadly, you will do plenty of that while watching this
film. Trust me, I had the same questions and concerns you have when I walked
into this film. What makes this any different from the dozens of court room
dramas we’ve seen on racism before? Well when you come to the realization that
there are dozens of stories out there about mafia life and white girls having
sex in NYC, it’s totally okay for you to listen to yet another story about
racism, legalized slavery, and an unfair justice system. <o:p></o:p></div>
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What makes this story different is that most of it doesn’t occur
in a court setting. The reason for that is because most of the cases social
justice activist and death row public defender Bryan Stevenson (Michael B.
Jordan) takes on don’t have enough evidence to even make it to trial. But as
Walter McMillian (Jamie Foxx) points out to Bryan, it doesn’t matter because
the second you’re born with this skin color in Alabama, you’re guilty of whatever
they want you to be. That is unless you play football for Nick Saban, then you exonerated
for at least four years (my personal commentary not Walter’s). This is the
world we live in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bryan is a young Harvard graduate who recently passed the
bar. He decided to take on cases like this because while he was an intern, he
met and connected with an inmate who was on death row who happened to be the
same age as him. And it was in that moment he realized that most of these people
don’t get or can’t afford proper representation. Now there are one or two moments
that, on the surface, appear to be a bit preachy, especially if you’re pro
death penalty, but as they tell their stories, you realize that this movie
accomplishes what good movies should accomplish; and that is to tell the stories
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that rarely get heard. Trust me when I
tell you that you don’t need to hear about how Lena Dunham banged yet another
hipster in Brooklyn at least for a week. For just a moment, take a look at the
world through the eyes of someone from a different culture and background. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There are quite a few gut-wrenching moments in this film;
from Bryan witnessing his first execution to listening to the heartbreaking
story of how an inmate’s childhood tragedy was used to manipulate not only him
but the outcome of Walter’s trial. But what’s truly scary is how natural being
a racist is to some of these actors. It’s great to see Rafe Spall go from being
the annoying teenager in Shaun of the Dead to the unscrupulous district
attorney in Oscar worthy films but boy it sure seemed like a seamless
transition for him. And I know that’s a credit to his acting ability but man,
you could at least see Leo struggling with his role as Calvin Candie in Django
Unchained. But for Rafe it seemed like he was being his natural self, much like
Samuel Jackson in Django as the race betraying Uncle Tom, Stephen. I can still
hear Sam as he shouted “We have to get these mf’n n’s off the mf’n Underground
Railroad as fast as we mf’n can! And yes, they deserve to die and I hope they
burn in hell!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyway, if you want to open your mind and take a look into
how the justice system is flawed, see flawless performances by actors at the
top of their game, and be taken on an emotional ride, I strongly suggest that
you see this film. I give this film a rating of <b>FRESH</b>! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<img alt="Image result for just mercy" height="225" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZGVjZGExMDAtOTE0Mi00NmYxLTkxZjAtZDcyNzg2ODFiZjhjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTkxNjUyNQ@@._CR943,560,4800,2700_UX1248_UY702._SY351_SX624_AL_.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-12403670892726643382019-12-23T12:37:00.002-08:002019-12-27T14:30:39.532-08:00Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker <br />
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First of all, I would like to start off by saying that you
have my boss to thank for my latest manic episode. Why is this, you ask? Well it’s
because she just recently had her first child and all throughout the entire pregnancy,
she acted like a total dude about it. Don’t get me wrong, she was excited that
she was having a baby and all but she was not a fan of the being pregnant piece
of it. She missed being able to drink, run, and basically do any of the things
that normal human beings do, such as walking around the house without having an
eight-pound kangaroo in your pouch. So, by the time she finally had the baby,
she felt this overwhelming sense of relief but then one day out of the blue she
told me “you know what Kelly? Once you actually have the baby, it totally
changes everything”. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Well wouldn’t you know it, that very night I had a horrible
nightmare that my girlfriend and I had a baby! First of all, neither of us want
to have a baby AT ALL, so the mere fact that I’m even typing this is making me nervous
and nauseous. But when the baby came out, I felt like a complete jerk because I
didn’t feel any different about having a child, I was just like “meh”. I mean,
the baby looked like me and all, which is good, but she just had a really big
head and simply laid there while doing nothing. That is until it was my turn to
take care of her and she started talking! And I don’t mean goo goo ga ga talk,
I mean she spoke fluent English with a little Spanish mixed in for some flavor!
I of course started freaking out! And the worst part was she still wasn’t potty
trained, so she continued to poop on herself just to be a jerk. So here I am
with this snarky alien baby and I don’t know what to do. It was at the point
that she started critiquing my Spotify Top 10 Artists of 2019 list that I woke
up yelling in a cold sweat! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why did I just waste 372 words telling you this? Well first
of all, that’s what this blog is, a funny waste of time, but these words also serve
as a forewarning! Don’t let professional schemers like Hollywood execs, comic book
nerds, or even friendly strippers trick you into something you know is going to
be terrible with their seducing words and/or dances. After watching The Last
Jedi, I knew there was no way The Rise of Skywalker would be any good. Last
Jedi had everything going for it; a fairly decent The Force Awakens and an
excellent Rogue One to proceed it and it also had the uber talented Rian
Johnson writing and directing it. And what wound up happening? We got zombie
princesses flying through space, a new character that fans somehow hated more
than Jar Jar Binks, and Morton Downey Jr being reincarnated as Luke Skywalker
(dated reference but you get the point). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, if that movie failed, there’s no way J.J. Abrams of all
people could save the franchise. But there I was, staying up late on a school
night hoping like hell that this wouldn’t be the new Game of Thrones. Well I’m
sorry to say it kids but I was served a shit sandwich; one that was a lot
stinkier than the one my imaginary baby gave me in my dreams. I’d say to watch
out for spoilers but this movie is already rotten to the core, so there’s no
spoiling going on here. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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First of all, nothing in the movie makes any sense;
characters die and miraculously come back, people are saved in the most ridiculous
of ways, and jedi masters apparently can’t recognize jedi mind tricks. The last
example of just a few of my many complaints is a bit nerdy but still, if I’m
seeing a movie at midnight, I get to be nerdy dammit! Remember when Avatar first
came out and it was the first time 3-D was done right? Everyone was losing
their minds over it! But now that we’ve been overexposed to 3-D, you look back
and realize that movie is almost unwatchable because the story was lame and the
acting in it makes Keanu Reeves seem like Robert DeNiro. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well it’s the same with CGI, when we were first exposed to
CGI, plots weren’t really necessary because you were just amazed by what you
were experiencing visually. But now that it’s been around for some time, you
can’t get away with having a thin plot and hope that giving the audience 2 hours
of mindless and pointless CGI battles will work. Keep in mind that this is an
action junkie who just typed those words. After about an hour into this nonsense,
I was already looking down at my watch to see how much time was left. 98% of
what happened in the movies that preceded it meant absolutely nothing in this
film. All of the relationships that were formed were for the most part
discarded, love interests mysteriously went away, and love her or hate her, poor
Rose was relegated to one liners and about 5 minutes of screen time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now Skywalker wasn’t all bad; there was some unintentional
freshness in it. The fact that an 82-year-old Billy Dee Williams was just
hanging out at an alien Mardi-Gras hoping to see some boobs was kind of tight.
The Emperor looking like an electro DJ at a rave at the end while destroying
spaceships was entertaining. And the little weird underground doctor that worked
on C-3PO was genuinely funny but 20 minutes of freshness does not make up for
the other 2 hours of lameness I had to sit through. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought about changing the rating of Wack to Trash but it’s
hard for me to call someone’s art trash and honestly this movie isn’t quite
that bad, so I’ll just give a rating of really, really <b>WEAK</b>! Go watch Queen and
Slim instead and wear condoms. Be safe out there kids! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Image result for the rise of skywalker" height="226" src="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/styles/1200x680/public/2019/10/rise-of-skywalker.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-63232014396179522232019-03-04T07:58:00.013-08:002022-01-25T12:22:49.645-08:00SXSW 2019 Music Preview<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few things have changed since I last wrote a music or
movie review on this site: I now have a beautiful and loving girlfriend, I have
a new full-time job, and I no longer see over a hundred movies in the theater
every year. And if I have any hopes of holding on to the first two, I can no
longer be found crying in a dark corner somewhere shot gunning the champagne of beers and taking Fireball shots because the bassist of (insert band name here) won’t marry me.
This stupid invention called social media will no longer allow me these
private therapeutic moments. I hate the interwebs! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I felt as though I had to write at least one more SXSW
preview because of all the wonderful experiences I’ve had over the years. I was
able to see Run the Jewels beat the snot out of some random scrub who ran on
stage and tried to fight them for some unknown reason, I waited three hours in
line to see Muse play a small venue while debating with everyone who was within
earshot of me where Daft Punk was going to play their secret show that weekend;
which of course never actually happened, and I witnessed Vince Staples make
every white person in the crowd nervous when he compared the stage he was
performing on to an auction block at a slave trade. Ah the good ole’ days. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Well after sifting through the 2,000 bands that are slated
to play this year’s festival, I came across what I believe to be the clear
highlights of the up and comers or the artists who will be headlining festivals
for years to come. And for those who are new to this site or to SXSW itself, I
suggest that you pick three or four of these acts and try to follow them around,
this is the easiest way to do this festival and, in the process, you’ll
discover dozens of new acts (who are playing either before or after) that you would have never otherwise come across.
Let’s start off with the sure things: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Cautious Clay </b>–
he brings a healthy balance of electronic and natural sounds to his beats which
are accompanied by lyrics that are for the most part, streams of consciousness.
At one point he’s singing about his insecurities that creep up when he’s
entering a new relationship and the next, he’s talking about the pressures of
paying off student loans; so basically a direct line to my brain. I rate him as
very <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH</b> as he’s clearly going to
blow up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1kyno4u9cQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1kyno4u9cQ</a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">TIERRA WHACK – </b>her
intro album Whack World is truly some weird ish! The way that she is able to
combine her mix of RnB and Rap with her prowess as a visual artist makes you
truly believe that you are witnessing a real-life Black Willy Wonka. I can’t
help but laugh whenever I hear her say “ABC (all boys cry) …MTV (men touch vaginas)
…BET (bitches eat tacos)”. I give her and her creativity a rating of very <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOTebhPy04g">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOTebhPy04g</a></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">LEIKELI47 – </b>some
of you may remember her from my SXSW recap last year. She was the clear
highlight for me back then and I honestly believe that she may be this year’s
highlight for me as well. She is the closest thing we’ll ever get to having another
Missy Elliott as she delivers both the fierceness and confidence that comes
with being a badass female in a male dominant genre as well as exposing her
vulnerability when it comes to falling in love. Trust me, you will not want to
miss her this time around as she is <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAM_ONZgPnE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAM_ONZgPnE</a></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NADIA NAKAI </b>– While
I like her potential, I think she’s going to wind up more towards the pop side
of things more so than that of a true hip hop artist as songs of hers like Yass
Bitch and Naaa Meaan have garnered the most attention. These certainly aren’t
bad songs, they are in fact club bangers but the second she gets signed to a
label they are going to want more of the same. And you know what, good for her!
I rate her as sort of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xbCaq68Hc">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xbCaq68Hc</a></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">TOBI LOU – </b>to me
he sounds like the male version of Noname. His songs are mellow grooves that
aren’t really about anything; at one point he’s singing about love and the next
he’s singing about video games. And yes, I know I just gave Cautious Clay
respect for doing something similar, but his beats are doper and his lyrics are
deeper and actually wind up telling a narrative when look at the whole. I rate
Tobi as sort of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WEAK </b>but he’s definitely
worth checking out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CjM3NLjXnE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CjM3NLjXnE</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PINK SWEAT$ - </b>mellow
RnB with stripped music as his background. This is super chill and will more
than likely put you to sleep live but I wouldn’t be against using his tunes for
a “Getting Laid” mixtape. He’s kind of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WEAK.
<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y9VtoPvtuM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y9VtoPvtuM</a></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">HONORABLE MENTION –
DRAMA – </b>chill electronic Rnb and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">KOFI
BLACK </b>– his vocal range is solid and he has good production but he will
need the right collaboration to take off. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now on to the Rock n Roll acts<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">THE BLINDERS </b>–
They remind me of when the Arctic Monkeys were young and actually making rock
music. Their lyrics are nowhere near as clever as the Monkeys’ but they are
angry and that’s all that really matters when you want something to scream and shout
to while listening to blaring distortion and groovy baselines. I give them a
rating of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT8zdtXhNUQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT8zdtXhNUQ</a></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">SQUID </b>– I hate to
give SXSW credit but they actually hit the nail on the head when they said this
band was the perfect blend of Television and LCD Soundsystem. They have quirky
songs that are sometimes atmospheric and other times dancey. They are a little
more Rock n Roll than LCD but no one can be LCD so I’m glad to see that they
are trying to make their own way. They don’t have many songs out but what they
do have is very solid. I give them a rating of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AToAPKwrsnI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AToAPKwrsnI</a></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BAMBARA </b>– this band
is self-described as Western gothic post punk. Just imagine a dark cowboy
playing in the corner of a bar in Marfa, TX and that’s what you’ll get in this
band. They are loud, energetic, and at times chaotic. What more do you want?
They also get a rating of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0JD_XsQMms">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0JD_XsQMms</a></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PRIESTS - </b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m so happy they’re back and keeping the D.C.
punk scene alive with their ear grabbing drumbeats and lead singer who gives
you a glimpse of what Janis Joplin would sound like if she were in a punk band.
You can tell that she puts every part of her being into every note she belts
out and I can’t help but respect that. I give them a rating of very <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvnUAz2ygV0">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvnUAz2ygV0</a></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS
–</b> this is high energy punk rock that makes you want to throw on some tight
leather and spray one another with liquor as you jump around a mosh pit. Enough
said. They are barely <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M46RU_JEoTw">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M46RU_JEoTw</a></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">CHERRY GLAZERR –</b> I
was hesitant to put them in this review as I can’t imagine anyone not being exposed
to them at this point but they are an L.A. rock band who remind you of the girl
grunge bands from the 90’s. They have a high energy sound and that certainly
comes across in their live performance. Be sure to check them out as they are <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESH.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFgz9aiiZlQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFgz9aiiZlQ</a></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">HONORABLE MENTION –
SASAMI – </b>she is the former keyboardist for Cherry Glazer and she branched
out to form her own pop/rock band. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">DRAB
MAJESTY –</b> they sound like a sadder version of The Smiths. The problem with
them is that every song literally sounds the same but its good for nostalgia
purposes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo5SBdEbEHs">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo5SBdEbEHs</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Image result for cautious clay" height="400" src="https://thefader-res.cloudinary.com/private_images/w_760,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:best/_53A6533_nv6yxf/cautious-clay-interview.jpg" width="266" /><img alt="Image result for the blinders band" height="266" src="https://louderthanwar.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/DSC6445.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-48884891655522959212018-07-25T11:07:00.000-07:002018-07-25T11:07:24.884-07:00The Equalizer 2<span style="font-size: small;">Going out on a Monday night is not something that I typically do but I was fortunate enough to see a Sam Smith show on the floor for free, so I figured why not! Now I get that that dude is super talented but man every song of his sounds exactly the same. So by the time he came out for his encore and finished the thirteenth version of the first song he played that night, I was looking to spice things up a bit. It was at this point that I decided to go to one of the few remaining cool bars on Austin’s East Side.<br />
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Now there are only two kinds of people that go hard in the paint on a Monday night and that’s the service industry; people I know and love because the vast majority of my friends fall into this category and I myself was once a part of it, and your total degenerates. Today’s story will revolve around the latter. As I sat in the previously mentioned bar I overheard this scrub gloating to his friends about how much he’s been getting laid lately. He said that the secret to his success is that he no longer dates, he instead spends his dating money on hookers. His friends nervously laughed, mainly because he was loud and they were a bit embarrassed to call him a friend, but also because they were a little intrigued. "Oh word, is this something that could work for me too?" He said "Listen! I figure I’d be spending 2K a month on a girlfriend anyway, so why not just spend 1K a month on hookers instead? It’s great, they don’t give you any shit AND they even bring me drugs!" <br />
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Now I guess this conversation was a bit better than the time I went out on a Monday and heard some guy admitting to stabbing his own dad…ON PURPOSE!!! But not by much. The point of all of this is, both scenarios sounded as if they would be a perfect fit for The Equalizer. These poor hookers will eventually need to be saved from this moron and that guy’s poor dad certainly needs some retribution. <br />
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And that’s what made the first Equalizer so cool; sure it was a little cheesy at times but it was the ultimate fantasy movie. Who doesn’t want a dad like figure in Denzel Washington rolling up on Russian gangsters and kicking their asses simply because they think they run stuff in America? I know Liam Neeson did something similar in Taken but he never took out an entire Russian mob using nothing but his smarts and the entire Home Depot catalog. By the time that movie was over, I was literally standing up and cheering. <br />
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But when they announced that they were making a part 2, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Denzel never does sequels because he knows how lame a Training Day 2 would be. Oh you thought Alonzo was dead? He’s back from the grave to show n-words how it’s really done! <br />
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Actually, I’d pay money to see Alonzo train a bunch of young hoodlum scrubs to get back at Ethan Hawke for what he did to him in the first film but that would kill the legacy of that character and Denzel’s iconic performance. And he knows this, this is why he’s always pushing himself to do something different; whether it be in a character he’s portraying, a movie he’s directing, or even acting on stage, he’s always looking to improve and not look back. And who knows, maybe he saw this as his next challenge, making a sequel for the first time in his career and actually making it better than the first. <br />
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Well I’m sad to say that he failed. Not that Equalizer 2 was a terrible movie, it just felt forced and a bit stale. What made the first so unique and fresh is completely missing in this film. You’re able to figure out the plot twist and the overall story within the first act of the film and everything that follows is something you’ve seen in every action movie that came out in the 90’s. <br />
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Now don’t get me wrong, when he’s still Equalizing and helping random scrubs out, that part is still cool; killing and talking trash to random Turkish scrubs and a wannabe hitman while he’s driving a Lyft car is pretty fresh. And the film’s final battle scene where he viciously takes out his opponents is something that will stick with you for a while but for such a simple storyline, this film ran about 30 minutes too long. Director Antoine Fuqua does his best with the story he’s provided but cool action scenes can only do so much; especially when it’s painfully obvious that they are purposely trying to outdo anything that happened in Equalizer 1. <br />
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It hurts my heart to say it but I would only check this film out in the theater if you’re bored or you need to escape the kids. I give Equalizer 2 a rating of kind of WEAK. Now if you will excuse me, my date from Exotic Services is here. <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiW-uP067rcAhUEYawKHXQDCAwQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fynuk.tv%2F2018%2F04%2F24%2Fthe-equalizer-2-trailer-17-august-action-thriller-stars-denzel-washington%2F&psig=AOvVaw3gaPDmYrt6KD-TugClGjdU&ust=1532628298925442" data-ved="2ahUKEwiW-uP067rcAhUEYawKHXQDCAwQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiW-uP067rcAhUEYawKHXQDCAwQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fynuk.tv%2F2018%2F04%2F24%2Fthe-equalizer-2-trailer-17-august-action-thriller-stars-denzel-washington%2F&psig=AOvVaw3gaPDmYrt6KD-TugClGjdU&ust=1532628298925442" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for the equalizer 2" height="224" id="irc_mi" src="http://ynuk.tv/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/fullsizeoutput_1f57-e1524583841466.jpeg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-55330857106474179652018-07-15T18:27:00.001-07:002018-07-15T18:27:50.810-07:00Sorry to Bother You<span style="font-size: small;">Both my name and my voice have provided me a certain level of anonymity throughout my entire professional career. For years I’ve received free Victoria’s Secret magazines and application forms to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader because somewhere in someone’s system they have me labelled as a Black female. Now I am Black and my name is Kelly however I don’t have Meatloaf boobs just yet. That’s a Fight Club reference by the way. <br />
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And because I went to school to be a doctor, I spent years getting rid of my Southern accent. I figured no one who was facing a life or death situation wanted to ever receive their medical advice from some clown who sounded like Matthew McConaughey. "Alright, alright, alright! Now wut we gon do right here is…" Um…no thanks doc, I’ll be getting a second opinion. Well, I clearly never finished medical school and I now mainly work with clients over the phone. But because I spent so much time sounding like a professional asshole, all of my clients assume that I’m white. And it isn’t until they’ve finished throwing some low key shade at Black people in general and received a photo of me along with a recap of everything that we talked about, that they call me apologizing and asking where I’m from. My response is always the same, "I come from the beach…BOY!!!" That’s a Half Baked reference by the way. I’m sorry that I keep doing that but half of my readers have never seen or have even heard of these films before. <br />
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The point of all of this is that there is no way I’d be anywhere close to being effective or successful in my current gig if I hadn’t adopted the Colin Powell voice. Let’s face it, white people simply don’t trust the Chris Rock voice or name. I mean hell, if some Black dude named Rock called me trying to sell me anything, I’d tell him to meet me on MLK BLVD at midnight with an ounce of that greeny green green. That would give me the necessary time to get that twenty that Pookie owes me. I kid, I kid, I don’t smoke weed. But you get my point! <br />
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Well when I first saw the trailer for Sorry to Bother You, I thought that it was just going to be a biography of my life! I thought to myself, the world isn’t ready for this yet and no one is going to ever pay money to see it. It’s like the time they tried to turn Jessie from Saved by the Bell into a stripper; America wasn’t ready to see its sweetheart sliding up and down a pole (I was). The timing was just way off. But I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered that this film was much deeper than that. This is a film that we can all relate to in some way, shape, or form because whether we like to admit it or not, most of us sell our souls one paycheck at a time just so we can continue to afford that HBO subscription and see how Game of Thrones is going end. Damn you Jon Snow, damn you to hell! <br />
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So to help point out our flaws to us, Boots Riley (writer/director) decided to take us into the world of Cassius Green, a young dreamer who is played by Get Out and Atlanta star Lakeith Stanfield. Cassius is a young Black male who lives in his uncle’s garage with his beautiful and artistic girlfriend, Detroit. He’s stuck in a rut and is worried that he’s living out a meaningless life. So he decides to get a job as a telemarketer at one of the world’s biggest companies which is run by the controversial and cocky Steve Lift (Armie Hammer). More on him in a second. Cassius initially struggles at his new gig because he goes into it attempting to be himself. And it isn’t until his colleague Langston (Danny Glover) notices his struggles and lets him in on a little secret that things start to turn around for him. Langston lets him know that he has to stop using his normal voice and that he has to adopt the more trustworthy "white" voice. At first Cassius is reluctant but once he caves in, he quickly becomes not only a rising star in the company but also the floor’s best salesman. And it isn’t long before he gets promoted to the legendary and almost mythical Top Sellers department. It’s here where he meets the aforementioned Steve Lift. <br />
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Lift is the innovator of a new workplace; one where you can work, live, eat, and sleep without ever leaving the building. On the surface it sounds great because it provides you 3 quality meals and what appears to be a good roof over your head; two things that are hard to come by for the average low income family in this society. But as you can imagine, it’s an absolute nightmare. <br />
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It’s viewed as modern day slavery and has led to a number of protests in the city, some of which is led by Cassius’s girlfriend Detroit, which of course leads to some tension between the two. Does Cassius risk losing his girlfriend and his close friends to live out the life he thinks he’s always wanted or will he realize what he’s gotten himself into?<br />
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Now so far this sounds intriguing but you can pretty much tell where it’s headed, right? Wrong! This is the trippiest movie I have seen since Scanner Darkly and that movie had animation in it. It seriously feels as though you’re on a high as the film continues to get weirder and weirder. And it’s not just the filming style or the quirky characters, it’s the story itself. By the time Cassius wanders off in Lift’s party, which had an Eyes Wide Shut orgy in it by the way, and discovers the film’s main secret, I thought I was having an acid flashback! Which is really weird because I’ve never done acid. And I honestly believe that this is how most of the audiences who saw this film and rated it felt because their ratings don’t quite match up to the quality of the film. I think it was just too out there for the standard viewer. <br />
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I however loved every second of it because it’s a fresh take on the comedy genre and there are so many not so subtle but also not preachy messages in it. One of the funniest and yet saddest moments in the film is when Cassius is forced to rap at Lift’s party and completely sells his soul to gain the approval of the crowd. The look of total defeat and shame on his face was something that I will never forget. Someone please make Kanye watch this film. <br />
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I could honestly 3,000 words on this movie but sadly no one would read it. Hell, you probably already stopped reading after my Half Baked joke. But just in case you didn’t, I will stop my review here and say that you should definitely check this film out as I give it a rating of TIGHT! <br />
<a data-cthref="/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwis3Kzau6LcAhUBCKwKHZs9DlAQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fconsequenceofsound.net%2F2018%2F07%2Ffilm-review-sorry-to-bother-you%2F&psig=AOvVaw3aEgFjsmmAsmnonJ63bi9E&ust=1531790806552802" data-ved="2ahUKEwis3Kzau6LcAhUBCKwKHZs9DlAQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwis3Kzau6LcAhUBCKwKHZs9DlAQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fconsequenceofsound.net%2F2018%2F07%2Ffilm-review-sorry-to-bother-you%2F&psig=AOvVaw3aEgFjsmmAsmnonJ63bi9E&ust=1531790806552802" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for sorry to bother you" height="353" id="irc_mi" src="https://consequenceofsound.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/sorry-to-bother-you.jpg?quality=80&w=380&h=380&crop=1" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="353" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-57819659131666034002018-07-13T12:24:00.002-07:002018-07-13T12:24:29.093-07:00Ant-Man and the Wasp <span style="font-size: small;">I love the band Radiohead! I mean, they have slowly drifted off into the land of dad rock these days but I really couldn’t care less as they still do hold a special place in my heart. To this day I still stalk every set list of every show they play and I also rush to the theater to see any film that Johnny Greenwood (guitarist) has scored, even if that means sitting through a three hour epic about a young British boy and his pet pig’s journey to freedom after his abusive uncle threatens to bang said pig on camera to save the princess’s life. I somehow combined The Butcher’s Boy with Black Mirror for that odd reference but you get my point. I’ll do anything to support their efforts.<br />
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But my friend Carole takes this stalking thing to another level. She is currently on a small Radiohead tour herself as she is seeing 5 of their shows over an eight day span. And on top of that, she also hangs out in the hotel bar where the lead singer Thom typically stays with the hopes of smelling and brushing his graying ponytail. Is she living out some twisted My Little Pony fantasy of hers or is she simply looking to create a spin-off of Love and Hip Hop called Love and Doctor’s Waiting Room Music: NYC 2018. I kid, I kid, I love their new albums. <br />
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I guess the one question I have is how far would she be willing to take it if she had access to the Ant-Man technology? And I’m not just talking the ability to shrink to an unnoticeable size but also the ability to reverse the aging process and see a younger Michael Douglas. Would she shrink just so she could sneak into the shower of 1996 Thom Yorke and claim that they actually bathed together? Or would she simply sleep on his pillow at night? I know these both sound rather disturbing but I’m certainly not above doing any of this myself. I would totally shrink myself just so I could have the ability to motorboat the 1970 version of the mom from Step Brothers! You know that she had to be super-hot back in the day! And the reason why I chose 70’s Step Brothers mom is because that was right before Burt Reynolds got to her. I don’t know for sure that they ever banged but it’s Burt Reynolds, I just assumed he banged everything that walked by him! <br />
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Oh well, until that technology is made available to everyone, we just have to live vicariously through Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) and Hope (Evangeline Lilly). If you were like me, you were wondering where Ant-Man was while Thanos was doing work on the other Avengers in Infinity War. Well this movie, in a way, addresses that. They basically spend two hours setting up what happened to Ant-Man while all that other craziness was going down. Now don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed this film but it really could have been reduced to a 20 minute short, especially after what you witness what happens in the after credits scene.<br />
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But hey, why not give us 100 extra minutes of explosions, gunfire, and Evangeline Lilly. After Captain America rescues everyone from prison, Ant-Man is apparently put on house arrest for two years. So he spends all of his time with his daughter and his best friend Luis as they try and set up a small security business together. Meanwhile, his now ex-girlfriend Hope and her father Hank Pym (Michael Douglass) are trying to find a way to get into the Quantum Realm with the hopes of finding her mother and his wife, Janet; played by Michelle Pfeiffer, another woman I’d shrink back in time for. When Scott survived the Realm in the first Ant-Man, this gave Hank hope that his wife could still be alive. <br />
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Well when Scott reaches out to Hank after a weird inexplicable connection between he and Janet occurs, they break him out of house arrest with the hopes that they can use that connection to find her. But word gets out about what they’re doing and a new adversary arises in Ghost, a beautiful British version of Meghan Markle who is looking to use his technology to survive. <br />
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The introduction of the Wasp (Evangeline Lilly) is certainly cool, especially when you first see her kicking the asses of black market dealers in a restaurant but the character that steals the show is Ghost. It’s not just that she’s beautiful but that her superpower is the coolest thing I’ve seen since the Albino twins in Matrix: Reloaded. They really should’ve given her some dreads and bad teeth. And it’s because she’s so cool that it’s hard to root against her. You just wish that they could resolve their differences so they could band together, go find Thanos, and bring the Black Panther back to life. Wakanda forever! <br />
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Oh well, the cool fighting that takes place helps you get past that and has you begging for more, especially when you see a 200 foot Ant-Man riding a scooter around downtown San Francisco. Well that and all of the humor that’s in this film. Rudd is his usual funny self and even Luis’s storytelling hasn’t lost its edge. <br />
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Clearly this film was made for the sol purposes of making money but even with that in mind, I walked away feeling as though it was money well spent. I give Ant-Man and the Wasp a rating of FRESH and I suggest that you pop in. <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjIgsjc5pzcAhUMXa0KHa-lAFUQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Fant-man-and-the-wasp-unanswered-questions-2018-7&psig=AOvVaw1LShXCbJO6zTXpEsmGwAUV&ust=1531596225723003" data-ved="2ahUKEwjIgsjc5pzcAhUMXa0KHa-lAFUQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjIgsjc5pzcAhUMXa0KHa-lAFUQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Fant-man-and-the-wasp-unanswered-questions-2018-7&psig=AOvVaw1LShXCbJO6zTXpEsmGwAUV&ust=1531596225723003" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for ant-man and the wasp" height="200" id="irc_mi" src="https://amp.thisisinsider.com/images/5b3fa062c8d6ed1f008b4568-750-375.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-28681200536375713722018-07-09T20:56:00.002-07:002018-07-09T20:56:45.860-07:00Sicario: Day of the Soldado <span style="font-size: small;">There are certain films that you should only take your bros to see with you and then there are other films that you’re probably better off seeing by yourself. I say this because one random Saturday afternoon my idiot friend and I went to see a very French and unbelievably sad film in Mood Indigo. And afterwards we were both so distraught that we had to spend the rest of the day power drinking just to keep ourselves from throwing one another off of the University of Texas Tower. That film leaves you with absolutely no will to live; so naturally I couldn’t wait to see it again but this time in the comfort of my own home and at a time when I was unbelievably happy. It’s such a great film.<br />
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And then there was the time this girl convinced me to see the super artsy flick Antichrist with her for our first date. The opening scene is a baby jumping off of a ledge to its gruesome death; now that alone should have been a clue for us to walk out but no, like idiots we decided to stay. And sadly things didn’t get any better as the rest of the film spent its time focusing on a couple who was literally trying to kill one another in the woods while dealing with their grief. Now combine that with the fact that there was a talking, rabid dog and a deer that gave birth to a baby doe while running from Willem Dafoe (I mean it literally fell out of her while running), it’s safe to say that there was no sex for me that night. I instead went home and booked an appointment for a vasectomy while watching The Golden Girls; anything to keep me from wanting to reproduce or even engaging in the act.<br />
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The point of all of this is that Sicario 2 somehow fits into both of these categories. This film is a dark and realistic look into the C.I.A. and the twisted agendas of our country’s government; basically the perfect film for our Independence Day. Happy Fourth everyone! If you were a fan of the first, you will more than likely be down with the sequel however if you just thought part one was sort of eh, then you will absolutely hate Saldado. <br />
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This films starts off with a series of suicide bombings, one of which takes place in Mexico just outside of the Texas border and another that takes place in Kansas City (or some random town in the Midwest). The government believes that terrorist organizations are getting smarter and are now no longer attempting to fly into the county. They are instead bribing Mexican Cartels to sneak them in illegally through the southern U.S. border in a new form of human trafficking. <br />
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So they reach out to their Cartel expert in C.I.A. operative Matt Graver (Josh Brolin) to come in and get to the heart of problem. And after doing what he does best, Graver finds which Cartel is most likely behind these recent events and reaches out to everyone’s favorite tortured father in Alejandro (Benicio Del Toro) to help him take them down. Their plan is to start a war amongst the Cartels so that in the midst of killing one another, they’ll no longer have the bandwidth or resources to continue to help terrorist organizations sneak into our country. <br />
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In order to get the fireworks under way, so to speak, the C.I.A. behind Alejandro’s lead, kidnaps the daughter of one of the cartel’s leaders under the guise of a rival Cartel. Their plan is to then "rescue" her from the rival cartel and return her to the safety of her father. Well seeing as how this is Mexico and there is corruption at seemingly every level of government and public service, things go horribly wrong and now not only does the operation itself risk being exposed but the girl’s life is also in danger. And this is where things start to get dark. <br />
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While there are a few jokes that are thrown in from time to time to help keep you from cutting yourself and putting yourself out of your misery; the film focuses on the dark side of pretty much every character, cartel, and government agency. There are betrayals, bribes and merciless killings at every turn and sadly this all takes place within the first hour of the film! Does anyone have any good left in them or is everyone just looking out for themselves?<br />
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Well thankfully you do eventually get to see the good side of a few characters, surprisingly so in some cases, and that’s the only thing that keeps this from being the most depressing documentary of all time. The ending is just a little too Hollywood for my taste but the gritty action, the unbelievable tension, and the realism of it all is what keeps you glued to the edge of your seat. What I loved most was some of the subtle but truly in-depth looks into the characters’ backgrounds and how that played into some of the seemingly inexplicable changes in their behavior. Taylor Sheridan (writer) continues to be on point when taking you into the dark underworld that most of society would rather pretend doesn’t exist and this is why this film is so special. <br />
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I absolutely loved this film and I suggest that you check it out, but only do when you’re in a really good mood. I give Soldado a rating of FRESH! <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiMj-XX0ZPcAhUSnKwKHRs0BCoQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftime.com%2F5324703%2Fsoldado-returns-to-the-border%2F&psig=AOvVaw075wzUIlajFZnjonTYIVgF&ust=1531281338020163" data-ved="2ahUKEwiMj-XX0ZPcAhUSnKwKHRs0BCoQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiMj-XX0ZPcAhUSnKwKHRs0BCoQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftime.com%2F5324703%2Fsoldado-returns-to-the-border%2F&psig=AOvVaw075wzUIlajFZnjonTYIVgF&ust=1531281338020163" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for sicario day of the soldado" height="266" id="irc_mi" src="https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/soldado-brolin-johs-donovan-del-toro.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-14217187202724773442018-07-01T19:06:00.000-07:002018-07-01T19:06:16.494-07:00Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom<span style="font-size: small;">I realize that the vast majority of the people who come across this review will have never even heard of the movie The Crow, much less have seen it, but you should know that that film is basically The Godfather to quite a few goth kids (I should say goth parents at this point) out there. It was a dark superhero film that allowed everyone who has ever felt as though they were an outsider to live vicariously through Eric Draven as he exacted revenge on those who took everything from him. You cheered every time he took out an adrenaline seeking conformer and rocked out while doing so because this film also had a killer grunge and industrial soundtrack, music that was considered to be weird in a Country Music loving society. Tim McGraw and George Strait were really big back then. <br />
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It didn’t take long for this movie to become a cult hit and when that happened the studio decided to try and cash in on our pain. What sucked is that the film’s main star Brandon Lee died tragically during the filming of this classic so the studio had to scramble to find a way to make a sequel. So they decided to move the story to Los Angeles and just painted some white looking Hispanic dude’s face even whiter and tried to push that off to us as a cool continuation of the story. They even brought in Bush and Hole to add some sexiness to the screen. Those are bands that were on the soundtrack by the way, not my adolescent way of saying there were some cool sex scenes in it; although if this blog has proven anything it’s that I’m certainly not above doing that.<br />
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The point of all of this is that Hollywood didn’t learn its lesson when this film flopped, they proceeded to make two more awful sequels that were hated by both the diehard and the casual fan. And believe it or not, they still plan to reboot it with Jason Mamoa in the next year or two. Will someone please tell those greedy bloodsuckers to let it go and just let us have that one moment in time? Well the sad thing is, The Crow wasn’t the only childhood memory that Hollywood stepped on, they’ve also been killing the memories of every science and anthropology nerd out there by releasing terrible sequels to Steven Spielberg’s classic film Jurassic Park. I, like every other kid, grew up with this fascination of dinosaurs and never believed that we’d ever get to see them outside of a museum. That is until Spielberg brought to life every kids dream, an amusement park where you could actually see live dinosaurs doing dinosaur things in their natural habitat. We sat in awe and then terror as the Velociraptors and the T-Rex wreaked havoc on everything that got in their way, and we simply couldn’t get enough of it.<br />
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So even though we knew the sequel was probably going to be terrible, we all lined up to see The Lost World, and guess what, we were right! Now you would think that Hollywood would have learned its lesson but we all know how this story ended, they came out with a part three that no one saw and they had no choice but to finally put Jurassic Park to bed. That is until Chris Pratt and Colin Trevorrow came along and gave us Jurassic World, a silly movie that we wound up putting up with for nostalgia purposes only. Anyone with a half a brain knew the movie wasn’t that good (pretty sure I gave it a rating of Fresh but I was drinking a lot back then) but it was something to take your kids or nieces and nephew to see. And even though it was both fun and ridiculous, we were all hoping that there wouldn’t be a sequel. <br />
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Well here we are, talking about Fallen Kingdom; a film where Trevorrow reached out to a 13 year old intern to write the story for. In it, the island that hosted the killer dinosaurs is on the verge of destruction due to an explosive volcano that’s about to erupt. So one of the co-creators of the original park, James Lockwood, has his assistant and apparent heir, Eli reach out to Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) to help rein in as many of the dinosaurs as they can so they can save them from extinction. There is a party of hunters on the island that have already captured a few of the dinosaurs but they cannot reach the most difficult species, the Velociraptor; and more specifically Blue, Owen’s pet project and the smartest of them all. Owen reluctantly agrees to go along but once he does he immediately realizes that this mission isn’t what it was presented to be. Eli has basically hired poachers to come in and steal the most dangerous dinosaurs so that he can turn around and sell them on the Black Market to be used as weapons. There’s even an underground auction that takes place with some of the world’s worst human beings in attendance. Well as you can imagine things go south and everyone involved has to fight for their lives. <br />
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Now just like the new Burger King Beer Burger that recently came out, on the surface it doesn’t look or sound that bad but the second you bite into it, you immediately become sick and cannot believe that you’ve wasted your money. Damn that creepy king! The underground auction is as stupid and as cheesy as you imagine it would be simply because it’s a bunch of old white and Japanese men in suits sweating and salivating over these dinosaurs as if they were 18 year old strippers who had just been sex trafficked into their creepy lairs. And for some reason they portray anyone who’s young as an annoying Millennial who cannot stand to be outside and is afraid of absolutely everything. It’s as if my grandfather was brought in to be a consultant for that piece of the film. Every joke is lame and falls completely flat and the action scenes are so derivative, it honestly feels as though you’re watching The Lost World again. There’s nothing remotely original or engaging in this film with the exception of the unintentional comedy that’s provided every time they try and add drama to the story. I literally broke out laughing every time a dinosaur climbed to the top of a house or ran through a cage to the backdrop of an operatic crescendo. It was as if I was watching Van Helsing with dinosaurs. But that sadly wasn’t enough to make me feel as though I got my money’s worth. <br />
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I strongly suggest avoiding this film at all costs as I give it a rating of unbelievably WEAK! <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwihr8ydqv_bAhVEMqwKHZ_9CUQQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vulture.com%2F2018%2F06%2Fjurassic-world-fallen-kingdom-review.html&psig=AOvVaw2nGOePYU_KKaQYGSGhC53z&ust=1530583536927139" data-ved="2ahUKEwihr8ydqv_bAhVEMqwKHZ_9CUQQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwihr8ydqv_bAhVEMqwKHZ_9CUQQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vulture.com%2F2018%2F06%2Fjurassic-world-fallen-kingdom-review.html&psig=AOvVaw2nGOePYU_KKaQYGSGhC53z&ust=1530583536927139" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for jurassic world fallen kingdom" height="266" id="irc_mi" src="https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2018/06/06/06-jurassic-world.w710.h473.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-77976308937645970692018-06-25T21:10:00.000-07:002018-06-25T21:10:16.641-07:00American Animals <span style="font-size: small;">A few years ago I went on a date with this girl who told me she had just graduated from Transylvania University. At first, I thought that she was just pulling my chain (outdated phrase) but when I noticed that she never started laughing and simply continued on with the conversation as normal, I finally came to the realization that she wasn’t. Now I get that I will never be confused with being the smartest cookie in the batch (yes, I just called that metaphor into existence) but I can’t be the only one who has ever thought that she was referencing the same place that once gave us Dracula from the classic film Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School. Is Dracula really real? Do they study blood at this university? Is everyone required to eat Count Dracula cereal in the morning? <br />
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These were all of the burning questions that immediately sprung up in my mind after she said that and I so desperately wanted to ask her these things. Now a normal human being would have simply waited until she went to the restroom and then Googled these inquires before breaking them out on their date but not me! I couldn’t wait, I had to know! Well as you can imagine, she thought I was a moron for asking her such ridiculous questions and we never went on a second date. I personally thought that it would be cool if one of your school’s prerequisites was that you had to eat sugar covered ghosts every morning but maybe that’s why she’s now rich and traveling the world and I’m stuck writing grade school level movie reviews for free. Oh well, my broke Winona Ryder is out there somewhere; she’ll laugh at my terrible jokes. That was a true story by the way. <br />
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Who knew that Transylvania University was actually a real school in Lexington, Kentucky and that it had an average enrollment of around 1,000 students? And an even lesser known fact is that it is also the home of some of the rarest books on Earth, all of whose value is worth millions of dollars. And that’s where the film American Animals comes in. Just when I thought my moment of embarrassment was forever behind me, Hollywood had to stick it in my face one more time!<br />
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Well as you can imagine, life in Kentucky gets pretty slow at times and you run out of creative inspiration rather quickly. You can only paint so many portraits of Rick Pitino with black prostitutes before it’s time to move on to the next thing. And trust me, painting Black women’s booties can be stimulating but it’s also an all day job and it’s something that’s not easily handled by the faint of heart. So Spencer, who actually attended Transylvania University at the time, decided to team up with the University of Kentucky’s Warren, a free spirit whose ideas on challenging the status quo wound up being a negative influence on Spencer and ultimately led him down the wrong path in life. <br />
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One day after touring the library and being introduced to the secure location that houses these books, Spencer sort of casually brings it up to Warren who immediately sees it as their opportunity to never have to work for the man again. So they begin to devise a plot that, in their minds, required minimum risk and led to a quick payout. But as they gathered more information and realized the difficult task that was before them, they decided to recruit two more Transylvania students to help with reconnaissance (Eric) and the getaway driving (Chas). Will they actually go through with it? Or will one of the many signs that this is a great idea on paper but a horrible idea in real life finally make them come to their senses? I’ll let you guess what direction they wound up taking.<br />
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Part of what makes this film so cool is the fact that it’s a mix of standard storytelling; characters living out the plot as it happens, and the actual people who attempted this crime in real life recounting their versions of story. And as the latter happens, you get to see how the movie’s characters act out the varying versions of the story. Did some things actually happen or were certain events just a fantastical tale to help keep the others interested? <br />
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The involvement of the actual people was a bit annoying at first, simply because it felt like you were watching Season 1 of Parks and Rec, a season that’s universally hated by everyone. But as the story got darker, you noticed an eerie chill creep throughout the entire theater as you watched these people relive these moments in their minds. The raw emotion that this situation evoked is something that I won’t soon forget. One moment you’re just looking at kids act out what was essentially a research assignment and the next you’re watching them become the low level and scrubby versions of Val Kilmer and Robert Deniro in Heat.<br />
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I have to say that I was a bit skeptical of this film at first because Movie Pass kept hyping it up to me in their stupid app of their. But as it turned out, they took my $10 a month and delivered a solid film. Now if we could only pay Rian Johnson ten bucks to go back and remake The Last Jedi, we’d be on to something. I give American Animals a rating of FRESH! <br />
<a data-cthref="/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi5m9jKuvDbAhVKXq0KHfe_A_YQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvariety.com%2F2018%2Ffilm%2Freviews%2Famerican-animals-review-1202669037%2F&psig=AOvVaw1FmpSiTOGHp0zdFjS7-9BB&ust=1530072550372757" data-ved="2ahUKEwi5m9jKuvDbAhVKXq0KHfe_A_YQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi5m9jKuvDbAhVKXq0KHfe_A_YQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvariety.com%2F2018%2Ffilm%2Freviews%2Famerican-animals-review-1202669037%2F&psig=AOvVaw1FmpSiTOGHp0zdFjS7-9BB&ust=1530072550372757" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for american animals" height="225" id="irc_mi" src="https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/american-animals.jpg?w=1000" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a><br />
</span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-66942858283841773152018-06-19T21:00:00.003-07:002018-06-19T21:00:53.007-07:00Incredibles 2<span style="font-size: small;">14 years is a long time to give someone to make a sequel. Look at all that has happened during that time period; America elected its first Black president and then followed that up by electing a game show host, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat came on the scene, Prince, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, and even The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s daddy died, Kim Kardashian actually saw a white penis for the first time (Kris Humphries) and then of course immediately went back to black, and the Avengers all came to life and recently died in dramatic fashion. Even people who are waiting for the Second Coming were like "Man, it took you guys long enough!" <br />
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But now everyone can finally rejoice because The Incredibles 2 is here. Now sadly Samuel L. Jackson still wasn’t able to sneak in a "motherfucker’ or two in this film, killing his streak of 182 consecutive films in which he’s done so by the way, but in every other way this sequel certainly does live up to the hype.<br />
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Even after their latest heroics in Incredibles 1, the world is still not in a place where they are ready to fully trust and let superheroes back into their lives. If you remember anything about the first film, it left off with The Mole wreaking havoc on the city and the Incredibles family all suiting up to stop him. Well part 2 picks up at that same moment, and in typical Incredibles style, they jump through hoops (not actual hoops although that would be a fresh superpower) to stop him but they destroy half of the city in the process. And it is at this point that everyone has had enough, so much so that even the covert operation that once protected the secret identities of the superheroes has lost its funding. So the only option that’s left for them is to give up their once glorious and exciting lives and to go back to the normal and mundane 9 to 5 daily funeral that the rest of us normal humans live.<br />
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That is until this rich media mogul, Winston Deavor and his sister Evelyn, decide to reach out to Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, and Mr. Freeze with an enticing proposition. He loves superheroes like his father once did; and he believes that if superheroes were never barred from using their abilities, that they would have been around to save his father’s life. So he comes up with a marketing campaign that he believes will turn the public’s view around on these recently fallen heroes. Now due to the liability concerns around Mr. Incredible and his occasional carelessness, Deavor decides to start with Elastigirl and her incredible (no pun intended) efficiency in taking down bad guys. Which of course puts a cramp in Mr. Incredible’s lifestyle as he now becomes the modern day version of Mr. Mom while his wife is off getting into exciting but dangerous adventures. <br />
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You get to see Elastigirl’s powers on full display while at the same time witnessing just how much of a chore being a stay at home parent is for Mr. Incredible. He’s struggling with teaching Dash new math and completely bungling up his daughter Violet’s boyfriend situation while his wife is off saving lives in dramatic fashion and once again becoming a hero in the public’s eye. But what stands out the most is his family finally discovering their baby Jack-Jack’s superpowers; the clear highlight, and to be honest, the overall focus of the film.<br />
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Sure Elastigirl has to face off against this new villain who cleverly uses visual and audio waves to hypnotize whomever he comes into contact with in an attempt to try and stop her and the Deavors’ new campaign but that’s just filler until the next time Jack-Jack turns into a devil baby or pops off into another dimension. And these are just two of his many tricks. The scene where he takes on the raccoon that’s trying to raid their trash is probably the best action piece of the entire franchise.<br />
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And in addition to this, writer/director Brad Bird also introduces some new superheroes who, due to the success of the marketing campaign, now feel safe to come out in society and finally display their talents. Which in a sense makes this film the cartoon version of X-Men 2 (my personal favorite of that franchise) because there are so many cool and funny action scenes that involve their powers. Although Reflux Man’s powers were still pretty gross. <br />
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Oh, and of course Edna steals the show yet again. When the credits started rolling, I found that I wasn’t initially blown away by this film but the more it sat with me, the more I liked it, and it’s because of that I’m pretty sure you will too. I give it a rating of very FRESH! </span><a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiZocmCreHbAhVBba0KHbdIC6AQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcomicbook.com%2Fmovies%2F2018%2F06%2F18%2Fincredibles-3-potential-ideas-brad-bird%2F&psig=AOvVaw2bmqV60kM38I3A_UEK-orB&ust=1529553510938814" data-ved="2ahUKEwiZocmCreHbAhVBba0KHbdIC6AQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiZocmCreHbAhVBba0KHbdIC6AQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcomicbook.com%2Fmovies%2F2018%2F06%2F18%2Fincredibles-3-potential-ideas-brad-bird%2F&psig=AOvVaw2bmqV60kM38I3A_UEK-orB&ust=1529553510938814" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for incredibles 2" height="211" id="irc_mi" src="http://media.comicbook.com/2018/04/incredibles-2-1103000-1280x0.jpeg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a>KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-43666617265226869052018-06-14T09:26:00.001-07:002018-06-14T09:26:08.961-07:00Hereditary <span style="font-size: small;">I was recently at a Sunflower Bean and Broncho show this past Saturday night, which is inherently hipster within itself, but while there, I ran into a group of scrubs whose eye roll inducing conversation was so ridiculous that it made me wish that they could immediately be burned at the stake as I sat there and watched while joyously munching on my avocado toast. Why do they deserve such an awful fate, you ask? Well as one girl was knocking back her PBR and talking to some barista who just moved here from Portland, she casually adjusted the 1940’s bandana that she was wearing on her head and said "You know what, I should totally go to Voodoo Fest this year. I mean, I kind of have to since my great aunt is Anne Rice." <br />
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Anne Rice? Freaking Anne Rice?!?!? You’re not only bragging about being related to one of the worst horror/goth writers of the past century but you’re using it as justification to go to spend hundreds of dollars you supposedly don’t have because you choose to not sell out and work a 9 to 5? That’s like me saying "You know, I should totally celebrate Juneteenth this year! I mean, I am kind of down with that new Jaden Smith poem." No, me liking the worst Smith of the Smith family is not grounds for or gives me any rights to being a superior Black man. If anything, it should excommunicate me from the race. <br />
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But this is where horror is these days; someone like Anne Rice has somehow garnered legendary status. And films like It Follows (I always hear Bush’s Swallowed in my head when I talk about that movie), Cabin in the Woods, and The Witch are all hailed as being the next big thing in the genre when in reality they’re just films that were written by some coed who just recently went on a John Carpenter bender. Which on the surface sounds kind of tight, that is until you realize that there will only be one John Carpenter.<br />
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So naturally when I saw and heard all of the buzz around Hereditary, I was skeptical. I was just waiting for all of these lame references to the 80’s that no one remembers and possibly even a guest appearance by Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China). Which again, the more I write about this, the fresher it sounds. But thankfully none of this happened. Hereditary was actually a fairly fresh take on the genre even if it did run a little too long.<br />
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Everyone knows that horror films should not exceed 95-100 minutes even if they do include gratuitous nude scenes, which this one does not by the way. But this film clocks in right around 127 minutes which is something you normally expect to see when watching a Kevin Costner film about baseball or puking at the sight of a pudgy Russell Crowe wearing a super snug sailor costume while stumbling around drunk on a boat. Why don’t you lose some weight, fatty! You’re a movie star! Now I get that he was taking his time in letting both the story and the characters develop but you can only use so many camera angles to keep one interested as a mother cries for the fortieth time over her dead relatives. <br />
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And speaking of director Ari Aster’s filming style, his clever use of the camera did add another dimension to this film. In the place of relying on the lazy and distracting "shaky cam" to add suspense to some rather intense scenes, he instead chose the route of almost making the camera its own character in certain spots. It felt as though you were watching the story unfold through the eyes of an independent party who was at times freaking out over what was happening and at other times grieving alongside the seemingly cursed family. This was never more apparent than in the film’s most memorable scene; the night of the car accident which involved the two teenage children of Annie (Toni Collette) and Steve (Gabriel Byrne). <br />
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After the tragic and horrific accident, the camera just sits there and focuses on Peter for quite some time while you visibly see him internalize what just happened and how his life will never be the same again. He can either accept it and deal with it or he can just choose to move on, pretend that nothing really happened and hope for the best. He unfortunately chose the worst of the two. This is one of the realest and most honest moments I have seen in any genre of film in a long time and it is still messing with me today. <br />
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Sure there are some creepy scenes that involve séances, apparitions, witchcraft, and even temporary possession but that’s stuff you’ve already seen before. And trust me when I say that the film gets over the top with all of this in the story’s third act but what will stick with you the most is the acting and the storytelling that I was just spent so much time complaining about. While he could have cut out at least 20 minutes of it, Collette and Alex Wolff’s (Peter) ability to make you connect with and empathize with the characters in this sometimes ridiculous story is what makes this film so special. You hate, love, cheer for, and root against them all in the same two hour span and that’s why you feel as though you’ve been on such an exhausting journey by the film’s end. And I cannot tell you the last horror film that made me feel that way. <br />
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Hereditary is definitely flawed but boy was it good. I give it a rating of FRESH but I am on my way to Bible Study right now because I need some Jesus in my life after seeing this film! <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiQwtnkyNPbAhVGZawKHTpCA2EQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.digitalspy.com%2Fmovies%2Ffeature%2Fa858796%2Fhereditary-explained-plot-ending%2F&psig=AOvVaw23NQZ4b5LVHdgQz_eYTzO8&ust=1529078601145399" data-ved="2ahUKEwiQwtnkyNPbAhVGZawKHTpCA2EQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiQwtnkyNPbAhVGZawKHTpCA2EQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.digitalspy.com%2Fmovies%2Ffeature%2Fa858796%2Fhereditary-explained-plot-ending%2F&psig=AOvVaw23NQZ4b5LVHdgQz_eYTzO8&ust=1529078601145399" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for hereditary" height="200" id="irc_mi" src="http://digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/18/05/768x384/landscape-1517354503-her.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-87846634854643364062018-06-09T14:15:00.000-07:002018-06-09T14:15:17.979-07:00Ocean's 8<span style="font-size: small;">The last time Hollywood came out with an all-female cast to remake a classic film, it was in the way of Ghostbusters. And the end result was an awful one as that was one of the worst movies to come out in the past decade. Now if I were a smart man, I would’ve just lied in my review of it and said that it hit on all cylinders but there’s a reason why I’m 86 years old and single, I’ve never learned to pick my battles. I instead chose to hold on to my "artistic integrity" and told the truth. Well as you can imagine, the backlash was brutal and I didn’t get laid for 4 months afterwards. Things got so bad at one point that I would see female friends of mine in the streets and they would look at me and simply shake their heads in disgust. You would’ve thought that I had become Cosby Jr. and was passing out roofies like they were Starbursts! <br />
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Well when I saw that Oceans 8 was coming out, I was praying that it would at least be decent just so I could maintain some semblance of a social life this summer. I can walk out of the convenient store with only a bag of potato chips and lotion only so many times before the clerk finally realizes what’s up. "Wait a sec, he isn’t THAT ashy!" But thankfully I learned from last summer’s fiasco and had a Flesh Light on order through Amazon Prime just in case this movie did suck and I had to hole up in a bunker somewhere. Hey, don’t judge, I’m getting in touch with my inner self and helping the economy at the same time! <br />
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Now if you have never seen Ocean’s 11, I suggest popping in really quickly mainly because it’s good but also because they make so many references to it in 8 that you’ll miss half of the jokes and cool guest appearances if you don’t. But what’s sad about that is Ocean’s 8 is almost a shot for shot remake of 11. They steal the opening scene, the overall plot, and even the filming style of Steven Sodomy (I know that’s not his name but I hate him and refuse to call him by his real name), which is a shame because the women that are in this film are legends and they at the very least deserve their own original story. <br />
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What made 11 so cool was the fact that Clooney, Pitt, Damon, Mac, Garcia, and Roberts were all at the top of their games and you could tell that they were having time of their lives. Now it helps that they were all in Vegas because it’s kind of hard not to have fun there but still, seeing Damon, fresh off of Jason Bourne, playing something completely out of character for him was both funny and engaging. And that, combined with the fact that Pitt was eating in every scene and casually dropping the film’s funniest lines, made you feel as though you were a part of the crew. <br />
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Well that’s what was missing in this film. Don’t get me wrong, I liked 8 but it took a while to get over the fact that Hollywood didn’t feel as though Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, and freaking Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) couldn’t carry a film on their own. All of whom were amazing in this film by the way. It felt as though you could visibly see Bullock feeling the pressure of becoming the new Danny Ocean but Blanchett and Hathaway were clearly having fun.<br />
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In 8, Bullock has just been released from prison and she is looking to get the old gang back together to pull off the ultimate heist. She wants to steal Cartier’s version of the Crown’s Jewels when they are on display around the neck of Hathaway at the annual Met Gala. So Bullock and Blanchett go on a recruiting tour to find a team that can pull this off. This is where they find Awkwafina (the pickpocket), Mindy Kaling (the master jeweler), Sarah Paulson (still not sure what her special skill was), Rihanna (the hacker) and Helena Bonham Carter (the fashion designer). <br />
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Blanchett showed that she still has it as she just oozed coolness on the screen and thankfully Rihanna wasn’t distractingly bad with her acting but the highlights were clearly Bonham Carter and Awkwafina. Bonham was her normal quirky self but in this film she displayed a vulnerability that you don’t normally see in her characters, similar to Damon in 11. And everything Awkawafina said and did had me in tears. I will admit that there was a plot twist at the end that I didn’t really see coming but looking back it did fall in line with their original goal which was to copy everything that happened in 11. <br />
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Overall, I liked this film and it is definitely better than Ocean’s 12 or 13; I guess I was just hoping that Hollywood would come out of the Dark Ages and allow it to have its own identity. Oh well, at least they are getting closer. I give it a rating of FRESH. Now can I please be removed from the Blacklist on Bumble? <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiK2LmPwMfbAhUGPa0KHQbgC7IQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nme.com%2Fblogs%2Fthe-movies-blog%2Foceans-8-trailer-release-date-cast-news-2177879&psig=AOvVaw2rzcuxJXW4nThrIMsGNV1S&ust=1528665289602272" data-ved="2ahUKEwiK2LmPwMfbAhUGPa0KHQbgC7IQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiK2LmPwMfbAhUGPa0KHQbgC7IQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nme.com%2Fblogs%2Fthe-movies-blog%2Foceans-8-trailer-release-date-cast-news-2177879&psig=AOvVaw2rzcuxJXW4nThrIMsGNV1S&ust=1528665289602272" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for oceans 8" height="353" id="irc_mi" src="http://ksassets.timeincuk.net/wp/uploads/sites/55/2017/12/Oceans-8-poster-920x584.png" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="556" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-55561885114826167102018-05-03T05:51:00.001-07:002018-05-03T05:51:25.701-07:00Avengers: Infinity War<span style="font-size: small;">Let me first start off by saying that I completely understand; the older you get and the more money you make, it’s hard for anyone to stay motivated. I don’t care if you’re Kanye West waking up to Kim Kardashian every morning or if simply you’re Fred Durst waking up to the stripper versions of Carmen Elektra after playing yet another theme park in rural Kansas; at some point you relax and you stop consistently tapping into those creative juices that once made you so special. This is why you see once cutting edge acts like Nine Inch Nails and Yelawolf playing old man rock festivals in the parking lot of an arena in San Antonio. And yes, you read that correctly, they aren’t even big enough to actually play in the arena anymore, they just roll out the stage the cheerleaders usually practice on and make these scrubby entertainers dance for the corndog eating bikers of yesteryear. <br />
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But you know what? I’m ok with this, these bands aren’t hurting anyone, they’re just trying to support their estranged hookers and illegitimate children; or in the case of Yelawolf, his drug habit and his need for the latest Yeezes. And speaking of Sir Kanye, he chose to go the opposite route; instead of gracefully drifting off into the land of obscurity, he decided that it would be a great idea to troll Black America. Yes, the same Black America that supported him after he went on national television and sounded like a lost child in the mall who somehow stumbled his way onto a telethon. He thinks that he’s being a marketing genius but in his attempt to become the next Andy Kaufman, he has regressed as an artist and now has become the wack version of MC Hammer. And I say the wack version because at least Black people still respect Hammer and what he did with those amazing pants. <br />
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What’s the point of all of this? Marvel didn’t let the girl with the fat ass lull them into complacency. After 10 years and 18 films, they could’ve easily mailed it in and given the people yet another mindless crowd pleasing conclusion. They instead chose the route of doing something they’ve never done to this point which is to give us a thought provoking film that doesn’t provide any closure. Now, of course I’m aware of the fact that there is a part two of Infinity War coming out next year and that Thanos (Josh Brolin) does possess the time stone that could in theory reverse everything he’s done to this point (a likely copout) but that doesn’t take away from what they accomplished with this film. For the first time that I’m aware of, people walked out of a Marvel film crying and shaking their fists in anger. "What do you mean the good guys didn’t win? There’s no way everyone died; that’s not fair!" And yes, props to Marvel for pulling off the ultimate Episode 11 of a Game of Thrones season. Hell, at one point I thought they were even going to film the actual, real life death of Stan Lee; talk about the perfect Fourth Dimension moment! <br />
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At this point, you already know the plot, supreme badass Thanos has finally kick started his evil plan of collecting all six Infinity Stones (the particles that formed the universe) to control and "save" the universe from itself. His plan is to help us hold on to our resources by killing off half the universe’s population. The way he sees it, there’s no way the universe can sustain itself at the rate we grow and abuse our surrounding environments. And I have to say that I agree with him, anytime I roll up on a party in Texas and they run out of Bud Light, you know there’s too damn many of us living here! Well of course The Avengers being The Avengers can’t let that ride, so they try and do everything they can in their power to stop him. And when I say The Avengers, I mean those officially in the troop and those who have never even met Ironman or Captain America.<br />
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And this is part of why I liked the film so much; I thought that with this many characters, there’s no way they could give them enough quality screen time without coming up with a convoluted storyline. But as is never the case, I was wrong (kidding of course). Everyone with the exception of Black Panther, Hulk and Vision had their own badass moment in the film. There was Captain America and his Indiana Jones esque intro in the film when he casually dodged a flying axe like he was Leroy Jenkins catching bullets in his teeth in The Last Dragon. And yes, that was a reference to a Blaxploitation karate film from the 80’s; check it out. Ironman was on point with his shit talking as always, Thor got another awesome weapon, Spiderman and Groot both redeemed themselves from their previous films and the women all proved that if given the chance, they could easily carry a solo film of their own. And while Thanos was clearly insane, he presented his points of view with such level headedness that it made his character that much scarier. It was like watching this new version of Kim Jong Un, there’s no way he’s this nice. I keep waiting for him to throw the leader of South Korea into a fiery pit just so he can collect the Nuclear Infinity Stone and blow the rest of the world to bits. <br />
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But it was the combination of all of these things; the boldness of Marvel to try something new and dangerous, a villain who wasn’t too over the top, and a slew of awesome action scenes that had you cheering for more. That is, until everyone died! And this is why I loved the film. Come on, you’ve had 18 chances (minus Panther) to walk out of a Marvel film without being challenged in any way, shape, or form; you can handle one film that makes you uncomfortable. And it’s because of this that I give Infinity War a rating of TIGHT! <br />
<a data-cthref="/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwid4seIyunaAhXFqYMKHVubCycQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnet.com%2Fnews%2Favengers-infinity-war-should-you-see-on-imax%2F&psig=AOvVaw2vgrVkpbhrzarDkqTH6lzE&ust=1525438132174865" data-ved="2ahUKEwid4seIyunaAhXFqYMKHVubCycQjRx6BAgBEAU" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwid4seIyunaAhXFqYMKHVubCycQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnet.com%2Fnews%2Favengers-infinity-war-should-you-see-on-imax%2F&psig=AOvVaw2vgrVkpbhrzarDkqTH6lzE&ust=1525438132174865" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for infinity war" height="224" id="irc_mi" src="https://cnet4.cbsistatic.com/img/L65fr5J0JgfKkKZ0bIGyyCvADmI=/724x407/2018/04/10/4f05d719-a1db-4185-8668-6fbc1b7ad12b/avenger-infinity-war-spidey-iron-man-mantis.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-32369239567113880362018-04-11T12:25:00.002-07:002018-04-11T12:25:22.891-07:00A Quiet Place<span style="font-size: small;">If you’re looking for an actual quiet place to go, the last option on your list should be anywhere where Black people are. "Oh no, that’s so racist!" No that’s not racist, that’s just real talk. I’m Black, so trust me, I know. Everyone knows that you don’t go see a scary movie in a Black theater because all you’ll hear the entire time is Lakeisha yelling "Aww hell naw girl! You better get yo ass up outta there!" Black BBQ’s? We set up the sound system for our music well before we set up anything else. And once it gets going, you can Kendrick and Biggie blaring from the speakers from miles away. <br />
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I was at a party this weekend with a Black friend of mine where 95% of the people who were there just so happened to be Caucasian. And as my friend and I started talking and laughing, I felt so sorry for everyone else who was in attendance because there was no way in hell they could even hear themselves think, let alone carry on an actual conversation. Why are we so loud, you ask? Is it because we are so happy that we can freely sing and talk without having to worry about being cracked with a whip? Or is it just a natural reflex to let everyone know our whereabouts just in case a cop decides to get in some target practice before deer hunting season rolls arounds? <br />
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Who knows but what I do know is that we wouldn’t last two seconds in a horror film simply because we’d be the first person the killer finds. I used to get angry at the fact that Black people always died in horror flicks; I used to think it was just the filmmakers being racist, but after A Quiet Place came out, I was finally awaken to the truth; we are just too damn loud. If we could just learn to use our inside voices every now and then, we might actually stand a chance. Stay woke son, stay woke! <br />
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Well thankfully they spare us the gruesome death scenes of any minorities in this film but that certainly doesn’t mean that it’s short on terror. In A Quiet Place, The Office’s John Krasinski introduces us to a post-apocalyptic world where the only way you can survive is if you don’t make any noticeable sounds. There are apparently creatures nearby who can only detect sound and the second they do, they appear from seemingly nowhere and immediately pounce on and kill their prey. So if you snore or get caught watching the wrong porn flick, it’s a wrap for you. <br />
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Now while there does appear to be other survivors in this story, the filmmakers decide to put their attention solely on Krasinski and Emily Blunt’s family. And despite losing a young child to one of these creatures and having to deal with the grief and self-imposed blame that comes along with that, the couple decides to have another baby to go along with the two they currently have in an attempt to try and lead a somewhat normal life. Naturally this decision leads to some rather intense moments in the movie but more on that in a second. <br />
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What’s so cool and unique about this film is the fact that the family doesn’t do anything silly like whisper quietly to one another but they instead actually utilize sign language to communicate. Which not only means you’re reading subtitles for the majority of the film but it also means you’re experiencing the creepy silence along with them. So the second you hear any sound or simply suspect that a sound could be created with a footstep or a baby contraction, you’re freaking out because you know it’s just a matter of time before the creatures, or whatever they are, show up. <br />
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And that’s yet another thing I loved about this film, not everything was spelled out for you. As the plot develops, you not only learn more about the family and what actually happened to society but you also see more of and learn more about the beings that are wreaking havoc on this farm. To a certain extent it’s a bit predictable but that’s to be expected, it’s a horror film. It was just refreshing to see the story stray from most of the typical clichés that have plagued this genre for decades. <br />
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Now while I still do hate on Krasinski for stealing Emily Blunt from me, I do have to give him credit for making a decent film. And he certainly did owe us after that awful football movie he made with George Clooney. Do yourself a favor and go check out A Quiet Place as I give it a rating of very FRESH! <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj04aK9-bLaAhUBb60KHR91B1wQjRx6BAgAEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vulture.com%2F2018%2F04%2Fjohn-krasinski-a-quiet-place-movie-review.html&psig=AOvVaw3eirEHU4bZ8S8TeS5ttVN8&ust=1523561070127388" data-ved="2ahUKEwj04aK9-bLaAhUBb60KHR91B1wQjRx6BAgAEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj04aK9-bLaAhUBb60KHR91B1wQjRx6BAgAEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vulture.com%2F2018%2F04%2Fjohn-krasinski-a-quiet-place-movie-review.html&psig=AOvVaw3eirEHU4bZ8S8TeS5ttVN8&ust=1523561070127388" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for a quiet place" height="266" id="irc_mi" src="https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2018/03/29/magazine/29-quiet-place.w710.h473.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-76584484497789456592018-04-08T22:23:00.001-07:002018-04-08T22:23:18.986-07:00Ready Player One<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;"><span lang=""><span style="font-size: small;">As I celebrated my 86th birthday this week, I had the opportunity to reflect on some of the better birthday celebrations I had when I was still a bright eyed and hopeful youth; the best of which was a fish fry my dad threw for me in his best friend’s epic backyard. I’m from a small town where there wasn’t much to do, so fish fries were a big deal; they gave everyone the chance to unwind from a long week, catch up with old friends, gaze at the stars, listen to some of the best artists RnB and Jazz (at least for my family) had to offer, and of course drink all of the Bud Light, Budweiser, and Crown Royal the local market had to offer. I mean, if I were old enough, I definitely might’ve impregnated someone that night but at that time my game was pretty weak, so sadly I was dateless at my own party. All I could do was enjoy the family and friends who gathered there and temporarily forget the fact that I lived in country Texas.<br />
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And this is why I think Ready Player One is even more of a fantasy than the writers intended it to be. Again, I was in a small town and this was 70 years ago, so this was well before the days of virtual reality. In order to escape my daily misery, I had to rely on ghetto VR which consisted of me day dreaming about hitting the game winning shot in the Final Four and then banging every woman from the James Bond movies as a reward afterwards. And trust me, I can feel your judgement as I write this but I think I deserve some credit for not turning into a Children of the Corn psychopath who stored bodies in his closet just before running off to get some late night Taco Cabana. Victoria was that awful of a place. <br />
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The point is, if Ready Player One was a nonfiction story, it would’ve been the most boring movie ever made because all teenage boys care about is Pikachu and getting laid. You seriously would’ve had 2400 hours of footage that focused solely on some dude chasing a yellow looking doll around a park while finishing way too quickly once a girl sticks her hands down his pants. I guess there’s the off chance that he’s an early developing Furry and you see Pikachu sticking its hands down his pants but that’s seriously the best you can hope for. <br />
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Well thankfully they decided to go the route of fiction and gave us the story of Wade, a kid who lives in a depressing version of our future where the only escape from the poverty and awful living conditions is the virtual reality world called Oasis; a place that was created by the genius programmer, Halliday. Halliday loved 80’s and early 90’s pop culture and most of his VR world featured some of most iconic things from those eras. It was such a great escape that literally everyone played his game, especially after he made the announcement that whoever found his three hidden Easter eggs would not only inherit his fortune but would have control over the Oasis. <br />
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Wade and his best friend Aech are two of the remaining few who continue to try and solve Halliday’s tricky puzzles. And in the process, Wade falls for the mysterious Art3mis, another gamer who has a shared hatred for the big corporation that’s trying to not only win the game but also have even more control of this dystopian society. Will they find the eggs before the corporation does? Can Wade even trust Art3mis? And is his friend Aech hiding the fact that he’s really a Furry who’s trying to lure him into his dark underworld? These are all things you must find out on your own.<br />
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But in the process you’ll have fun doing so because the VR world Halliday has created is so cool. It’s not all about the game; in his world you can literally make all of your dreams come true. Whatever you can imagine is brought to life in his world, so even if you don’t get all of the 20 and 30 year old references, the visuals in this movie alone will keep you engaged. Not to mention the fact that the challenges Halliday requires you to pass before you find each egg are fun; the first of which was the most exciting of the film. It’s a race that you must win, which sounds easy enough, except for the simple fact that no one has ever been able to actually finish the race. You not only have to fight off your opponent but the tons of obstacles that are thrown in your way, like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park or King Kong who basically destroys the entire race track. And it’s in this race that you see the bulk of the pop culture references Halliday implements, 70% of which are all from Spielberg movies; the same guy who directed Ready Player One. I personally thought that if he were really fresh, Spielberg would have also included a few nods to some of his depressing films like Schindler’s List or The Color Purple. You too can have sex with Whoopi Goldberg or mow down Nazis while trying to free people from a concentration camp. Admit it, you were expecting a more offensive joke than that, weren’t you? Come on, I’m not a monster! <br />
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Anyway, even without those additions, this movie was highly entertaining and I strongly suggest that you go see it in the theater. I give Ready Player One a rating of FRESH! <br />
<a data-cthref="/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi4r5TBuazaAhUCXa0KHf_XAVgQjRx6BAgAEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DcSp1dM2Vj48&psig=AOvVaw0uHOvElqqVb42tE1RR-9kq&ust=1523337735986508" data-ved="2ahUKEwi4r5TBuazaAhUCXa0KHf_XAVgQjRx6BAgAEAU" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi4r5TBuazaAhUCXa0KHf_XAVgQjRx6BAgAEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DcSp1dM2Vj48&psig=AOvVaw0uHOvElqqVb42tE1RR-9kq&ust=1523337735986508" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for ready player one" height="224" id="irc_mi" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cSp1dM2Vj48/maxresdefault.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a><br />
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</span><br /></span><br /></span><br /></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5492298167911069811.post-11421122904042013142018-03-31T12:53:00.001-07:002018-03-31T12:53:22.811-07:00Isle of Dogs <span style="font-size: small;">There was a time in my life when I used to giggle at the thought of another country and their citizens treating their cattle as equals to human beings. I just couldn’t imagine letting something that my family threw on the BBQ pit with regularity walk around my living room while I was trying to watch The Cosby Show. But after some guy let his dog run up to me the other day and basically eat my headphones while they were still in my ear, and essentially laugh it off as if it was his cute baby taking their first ever poop, I realized that we as Americans are now treating our dogs as equals. <br />
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Where else can a dog maul a 4 year old child to death and the parents of said child decide to still keep him around as a pet? In what other country will someone come up to you and threaten to take your life simply because you decide to take target practice with a photo of a dog while they practice shooting at a human target? Ok, so full disclaimer, I actually saw that last example on the show Atlanta but we all know that most fiction is based off of reality so that example still counts in my book. The point is, have we as a society lost our collective minds or am I simply just a bitter old Black man whose ex-girlfriend’s obsession with her stupid dog caused me to reach this point? I’m willing to admit that it’s probably a mixture of both.<br />
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Well in Wes Anderson’s latest flick, Isle of Dogs, he introduces us to a world where the Japanese have decided to protect their citizens by shipping all of the country’s dogs off to a deserted island. Now this is an agenda I can actually get behind! In this stop motion animated alternate universe, society has turned its back on dogs in favor of cats and because of this a war breaks out and dogs are brought to the brink of extinction. But thankfully for dog lovers everywhere, this brave young warrior steps in and saves the day. This salvation however is apparently only temporary as the remaining dogs have somehow developed a rare disease that not only threatens their existence but that of humans as well as there’s a chance it can cross species. The leaders in charge decide that it’s in the best interest of our race to isolate them despite the fact that a possible cure is imminent. <br />
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Well as the dogs are being sent off to this island full of trash, there is one young boy who refuses to let his beloved pet die on this disgusting island alone. So he sneaks off in a single engine plane to find his dog Spots despite the fact that it was his uncle who put the order into effect. And once he arrives, he soon realizes that he must now rely on this rag tag group of dogs who spend their entire days scrapping and clawing for whatever little food is left on the island while reminiscing about the good ole days of yesteryear where they were show dogs, bird hunters, or simply had owners who put them ahead of anything else. Everyone is onboard with helping the boy except for the packs toughest member, Chief (Bryan Cranston), who goes along with the pack but only because he has to. Will they find the boy’s dog before his uncle finds him? Is his dog even alive? And if he isn’t, how long before the other dogs all join him in death and leave the world to the evil cate to rule?<br />
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Wes Anderson’s humor is known for being a bit esoteric but in this particular film it seems to be more so than usual. If you’ve never seen an Anderson flick before or you’re only a casual fan at best, this is not the film for you. All of his movies try and bring humor to some of life’s darkest or most difficult moments and this is certainly no different. In Isle, he takes on abandonment, desperation, government corruption, and yes, even love, the last of which gives this film the lightheartedness the story so desperately needed. <br />
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Forty minutes into the film, the running joke that there are dogs who talk and act like 40 year old white men gets a little stale, so Anderson had no choice but to focus on a universal theme that both dog and cat lovers can identify with. Despite all of the awful things that are happening in this world, love somehow conquers all. You see it amongst the group of dogs who were forced to band together to simply survive, you see it in the boy who will do anything to reunite with his pet, and you even see it in the gruff Chief. <br />
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This film is entertaining and Anderson is still at the top of his game but just know that Isle is not for everyone. This is like going to see a side project of your favorite band, you may be freaking out over the fact that James Murphy is playing an all acoustic ukulele set at Stubb’s BBQ but that doesn’t mean that everyone who’s heard an LCD Soundsystem song will be down. <br />
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I give Isle of Dogs a rating of FRESH and suggest that all Anderson fans pop in. And for the record, I don’t really hate dogs, just my ex, so please don’t call the ASPCA on me and have them throw red paint on me while I’m eating my hot dog (pun intended) at lunch. <br />
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjc4sSeq5faAhXSylMKHcPDAMUQjRx6BAgAEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fvariety.com%2F2018%2Ffilm%2Freviews%2Fisle-of-dogs-review-1202700010%2F&psig=AOvVaw2_-DnUDre9dEZFcz-KFjZG&ust=1522612359217698" data-ved="2ahUKEwjc4sSeq5faAhXSylMKHcPDAMUQjRx6BAgAEAU" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjc4sSeq5faAhXSylMKHcPDAMUQjRx6BAgAEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fvariety.com%2F2018%2Ffilm%2Freviews%2Fisle-of-dogs-review-1202700010%2F&psig=AOvVaw2_-DnUDre9dEZFcz-KFjZG&ust=1522612359217698" id="irc_mil" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk;irc.il;" style="border-image: none; border: 0px currentColor;"><img alt="Image result for isle of dogs" height="225" id="irc_mi" src="https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/still_isle_of_dogs_copyright_2017_twentieth_century_fox-cropped.jpg?w=1000&h=563&crop=1" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></a></span><br />KGipphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266585403903795218noreply@blogger.com0