I think we have finally reached the point that Bill Murray tried
to prepare us for when he yelled “Dogs and cats living together…mass
hysteria!!!” Whenever I wear my fedora out on the town, it never fails, girls
and guys automatically assume that I’m gay and try and hook me up with their “cute
friend”. Or they assume that I’m a drug dealer and start spitting out slang to
me that I’ve only heard on The Wire or in a 2 Chainz song. I of course I have
no clue what they want and they walk away very confused but I always end up
rapping every line of Whoop That Trick from Hustle and Flow in my head as they
leave. Ok, so I only know the hook to that song but I add in my own rhymes which of course are fresh. The
point of this is, how does a country boy who wears Steve Urkel glasses get
mistaken for Nino Brown? “Am I my brother’s keeper??? CMB!!!” And while we’re
at it, how is one the biggest names in hip hop right now from Canada? Well the hits
keep on coming with the next big thing from Chicago.
Nylo is a strikingly hot white girl from the windy city that
grew up listening to way too much Nsync, Aaliyah, and TLC; so naturally she
became an R&B singer as a result of it. Now to her credit, she certainly
does sound like she belongs in the game. She even brings a little edge as she’s
dropping F bombs while singing about getting drunk and boning dudes; maybe I
should’ve added R. Kelly to her list of influences as well. Whenever a girl sings
about booze and sex, men turn into little prairie dogs, our heads pop out of
the ground and you have our complete attention from that point on! She’s hot and I like her stuff but
if she weren’t white, there really wouldn’t be anything to separate her from
the rest of the pack. Maybe she should start rocking condoms on her glasses
like Left Eye did back in the day. Check out her mix tape (yes, you read that
correctly) Indigo Summer; every time I tried to stop listening to it another
808 would drop and I would wind up nodding my head to the beat. I rate her as
FRESH!
Next up are the Psychic Teens. When it comes to heavy rock, Philly
has truly been coming with it lately. The Teens really represent the no
nonsense attitudes you get from the people of cheese steak land and also the overall dirtiness of the
city. H#te immediately punches you in the face and it just screams for you to basically
start your own mosh pit! This is the kind of song that musically makes you
think evil is in the air. Other songs like Dose remind you of the dark and
heavy Alice in Chains days, which I guess when I think about it, would describe their entire career.
The lead has a low monotone voice that Spin compared to Paul Banks from
Interpol but it’s not quite that cool. I am not a fan of evil but I am a fan of
this band so far. I want to rate them as fresh but I just haven’t heard enough
from them at this point to do so, so for now they get a barely WEAK.
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