But at 86 years old I’m not so sure that he’s even human anymore. Doesn’t it feel like he’s become the real life version of Mr. Burns? Does he spend the majority of his days in a cryogenic chamber, only to be let out when it’s time for a press release or to direct some subpar movie about stolen babies or male doo wop groups? Someone please call Sean Connery to coach him up on how to go off on rants about women needing a good smack every now and then (Connery really said these things by the way) so the world finally decides to cast him off into the land of the forgotten with the other has beens of the movie universe. You know who I’m talking about, people like Mel Gibson and Steve Gutenberg.
Well in spite of his recent failures, I do have to say that I was a little excited to see his latest film Sully. I remember thinking to myself how awesome of a story this was when it initially happened because I’ve always thought it was a ridiculous waste of time to tell people where the floatation devices were in case of a plane crash into the ocean. Um, if we crash into the ocean, it’s time to say some prayers and at least try and become a halfway member into the mile high club because that’s the last thing or two you’ll ever do on this Earth. Well sadly no one attempted to get one last bj before the crash, not on camera anyway, but thankfully everyone survived. And that’s what makes this story so amazing, how does a plane that’s carrying 150 plus passengers land in the Hudson and the worst thing that happened to them is that one or two of them caught a cold?
Well Eastwood does his best to give us an in depth look into how pilot Chelsey Sullenberger became a household name and an American hero after only about 4 minutes of flight time. And I have to say that he does a fairly good job in doing so when in reality, this story really could have been told in a 30 minute block on 60 Minutes. He fills the time by showing us the daily nightmares Sully has of the alternative outcomes that could have taken place had he chosen another path and by letting us in on a few of the post crash phone conversations between him and his wife; but thankfully the movie never feels bogged down by these forgettable scenes.
He instead puts his focus on the National Transportation Safety Board and how they essentially played the role of the real life Evil Corp in this story. In order to answer to the insurance companies, they attempt to find fault in every decision Sully made in spite of the fact that the choices he did make essentially saved everyone’s lives. But as the film goes on and they poke more holes into his decision making, you start to wonder if he in fact made the right move or if he simply just got lucky. And this is why seeing how the crash and the choices he made in real time were so crucial to this story. Eastwood saves this key moment for the end and I have to say that while it wasn’t the most moving piece of cinema I’ve ever seen, he does a pretty good job of making it as close to exhilarating as he possibly can at the age of 86. I mean, let’s be real, the old man can’t handle THAT much excitement at his age. But what was funny was the number of groupies old man Sully was getting after his heroics. Cute women, young and old, were throwing themselves at this aging version of Flanders and I have to say that it was kind of pissing me off! How does Flanders get chicks and I don’t? And yes I’m well aware of the fact that this is my second reference to the Simpson’s show in this piece.
In the end I probably won’t remember that this movie was ever even made, similar to me forgetting that I actually saw Flag of Our Fathers in the theater, and it’s because of this that I decided to give this movie a rating of kind of WEAK. But if you’re bored and tired of football, I suggest that you pop in.
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