The Jungle Book

Since I'm about to reach the tender (I almost spelled that tinder btw) age of 74, I thought it was high time for me to finally experience what it's like to watch a movie with a bunch of screaming kids surrounding me. Hey, if Dick Clark can have a kid at the age of 75 it's certainly not too late for me to have one. Now I'm not saying I want to have a money sucking pet that only has two legs and sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night to be with their boyfriend but I like to be prepared for anything.

So there I was on a Friday afternoon watching The Jungle Book with a bevy of stressed out parents who were all way too excited to spend hundreds of dollars to get their kids out of the house and keep them entertained for a few hours. Is this really what I have to look forward to? Maybe they should just show a film of what toddlers do the hopes and dreams of adults when they're teaching the benefits of abstinence in Health class.

Anyway. I was actually excited to see The Jungle Book because I do remember loving it as a kid and the thought of having a giant bear as my best friend was appealing to me at the time. Of course if I was still searching for a bear to be my friend as an adult male, that would mean something totally different in this day and time but I digress.

Jon Favreau signed on to direct this film, and after the success he had with Zathura, he seemed like the logical choice. He's adept at filming entertaining action set pieces and seems to get what kids as well as adults like to see on screen; and he certainly does deliver in that regard when it comes to Book.

Mowgli is an adorable and likeable kid, Bill Murray was the perfect choice for the bear Baloo, and Idris Elba was fantastic as the evil tiger that wanted to kill Mowgli, Shere Khan. My only real problem was with some of the writing. Now I'd like to think that I have a longer attention span than most kids but man I found myself dozing off a time or two during this film.

I get that the story is about self discovery, finding and being comfortable with your place in life, and creating a sense of harmony with all of nature but save the deeper stuff the Coen brothers movies. There should've been more songs in this film. Hell I'm 187 years old and I still find myself singing Hakuna Matata  every now and then. So if I was getting tired at times, I can only imagine what some of the kids around me were experiencing.

As far as the experience for kids goes, there's really only two or three scary moments in the movie, one of which involves the evil and seductive serpent (Scarlett Johansson) and pretty much any scene with Shere Khan. But honestly nothing happens that your kids haven't seen before.

The tight action in this film more than makes up for any complaints I had about the movie and it's because of this I give it a rating of FRESH! Just please parents, next time you decide to have sex, you may want to consider combining the sponge and the pull out method.