Friday, January 22, 2016

Dirty Grandpa

The only reason why I got off of my couch to go see this movie in the first place was because I was bored out of my mind. I didn’t feel like staying in but I also didn’t feel like drinking either, so I thought that going to see a comedy, even if it did look awful, would be better than me beating off to old Instagram photos of my ex girlfriends. Calm down, calm down, I’m just kidding. There’s no way I do creepy stuff like that…anymore.

Well anyway, after the first ten minutes or so of this movie, I was sorely regretting my decision of not having a drink! The beginning was so unbearable that I felt as though I should’ve sneaked in a couple of 40’s in the theater like I did back in the day when I lived in Dallas. When you go to the theater that’s just passed Harry Hines Blvd, where the women of the night hang out, anything goes. Wow, I’m really not painting a good picture of myself today am I? It wasn’t THAT kind of theater, it just happened to be near that area. But I digress…

The first few scenes involve Jason’s (Zac Efron) cousin Nick whose character the writers tried way too hard to make funny. He supposedly plays the screwed up cousin who has no filter but he instead just comes off as the unfunny moron who’s slowly and painfully taking minutes off of your life. There’s terrible jokes about him being drunk at Jason’s grandmother’s funeral and him bragging about jacking animals off. Now in theory this sounds kind of funny but it just didn’t work in actual practice.

But thankfully Jason’s grandfather Dick (Robert De Niro) finally shows up to save the day. He too at first seems like he’s trying too hard but the second his character meets up with Lenore (Aubrey Plaza) the movie takes off to another level. The chemistry those two have together is unreal as they take turns trading sexual innuendos at a rapid rate; trust me when I say this will make more sense in a second.

Dick somehow convinces his uptight grandson Jason to put aside his wedding planning for a few days so that he can drive him down to Florida for Spring Break. He apparently goes there every year but can’t drive himself this time because his license is suspended. Jason’s equally, if not more, uptight fiancé reluctantly agrees and the two of them are off to a weekend that neither of them will ever forget.

Along the way however, Jason becomes aware of Dick’s real plan for the weekend and that’s to bang as many hot girls as he can before he dies. He of course is grossed out by this but agrees to tag along for a little while longer because he runs into a long time crush of his in Shadia when the two of them run into Dick’s love interest Lenore. The rest of the movie pretty much goes as you would expect it to but every word out of De Niro’s mouth is offensive gold!

He’s been mailing it in for so long now that you almost forget the fact that he is one of the best actors of all time. But once you do remember that, it should come as no surprise to you that when he actually does try, De Niro can be amazing at whatever role he’s cast in. He’s at the height of his comedic powers in this ridiculous and over the top romp but it wasn’t until he was onstage doing karaoke to Ice Cube’s It Was a Good Day that I completely lost my shit! De Niro is the only Italian that can drop the N word and have us all laughing instead of protesting.

Plaza is obviously having a ball in this role as she gets to be as raunchy as she possibly can be in nearly every one of her scenes. And it almost feels as though her lines are completely ad libbed as you essentially see her sifting through an assortment of dirty comebacks in her mind to respond to De Niro’s cheesy but effective pickup lines.

Once you hear how foul this movie is, you understand why the trailer looked so lame; there literally wasn’t any clean dialogue the studio could have used to put on network TV. The last ten minutes of the film are just as brutal as the first ten minutes but thankfully Rafi from The League pops up and keeps things interesting throughout it. So at least you have that to look forward to.

*Just as a note* Rafi appears all throughout this film, so I didn’t give away a spoiler or anything.

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie and I suggest you check it out. I give it a rating of FRESH!

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