Guys have this awful go to statement whenever they are
talking about a moderately attractive girl to another guy “Eh. I mean, I’d hit
it if I came home at 2 am and it was lying in my bed naked but that’s about it”.
When in reality, we all know that unless we are rock, movie, sports, or even
porn stars; that this scenario will in all likelihood never actually happen.
Well this past Saturday night, I came about as close as I ever will to joining
that awesome club which I’m sure includes Robert Downey Jr and quite possibly
Bill Cosby . Long story short, I am walking back to my apartment and there is
this drunk girl standing in the hallway waiting on her hookup for the night to
come out so they can go late night swimming. She sees me and literally starts
undressing me with her eyes while we are talking about her night up until this
point. I wont type here exactly what she
said but let’s just say that she was looking to upgrade once she met me. Granted
this girl was only 2 a.m. hot but lucky for the dude she was waiting on, he happened
to walk out right when things were about to get real. And he came out dressed
like he was trying everything he could within his power to NOT get laid;
sporting bright red shorts and a straw sun hat. “Hey, you ready to go?” She
sighed rather loudly and walked off with him.
Thankfully due to my need for sleep, my desire to not become
any more self loathing than I already am, and for my overall health, she chose
this clown; but I do have to admit that the entire time I kept thinking to
myself “Why don’t I have Rza’s My Lovin is Digi on my hookup mix anymore?”
Well, here are a few artists that might help you get a girl to go late night
swimming with you.
First up is the beat dropper Brrd. He makes short, soulful,
and jazzy beats which sound similar to what you’d expect to hear playing in a
chic New York restaurant or lounge opening. I know that sounds a bit cheesy but
I always picture Erykah Badu listening to this kind of music in her studio while
getting inspiration for her amazing albums. Check out his song Freezetag as it
is the perfect example of what I’m describing. He also has a lot of religious undertones
in his music which adds to his diversity; check out his trippy The Anointing. I
haven’t quite heard enough of his stuff for him to deserve this rating but for
now he gets a rating of FRESH.
Next up is Go Dreamer, he’s a rapper/producer out of Atlanta,
who I have to give credit to for not being lazy and getting stuck creatively
like most of his counterparts do. Most artists today, especially those in the
South, don’t build upon the foundation that’s already been laid for them by the
pioneers of the game. They’ll simply spend their time trying to recreate the
sound and style that typically comes from that region. Dreamer for example, worked
with Big Boi on his latest album, but he didn’t leave the studio jacking his
style. He keeps things a bit off kilter with his self proclaimed spaced out
weirdo style, which he describes on the bass heavy club jam Outta Here. His song
She Wanna Be You reminds you of a 90’s hip hop song that you’d hear playing at
a house party. All I can see in my head is KidnPlay doing their stupid dance to this! Electro
Phonk is the first I think he tries a little too hard to be different but the
song still jams. I will also give him a hesitant rating of FRESH for now!
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