Riddick

There is good sci-fi that gets a theatrical release and typically includes Keanu Reeves or Bruce Willis, there is bad sci-fi that plays on the Scyfy network and stars Craig T. Nelson, and then there are the Riddick movies which are somewhere in between. There is a reason why the end of August and most of September is chalk full of movies that normally qualify to be straight to video flicks but somehow get a theatrical release anyway. Parents are getting their kids ready to go back to school, fraternities are perfecting their ruffy colada mixtures for the incoming freshmen, football is back, and normal guys are entering the early stages of depression as winter is coming; which means  that girls will be putting their C cups away for at least a few months! Riddick isn’t exactly a straight to video flick but there is no way this movie makes any money going up against a true summer blockbuster or even a movie like Step Up 4D : Oh You Think You can Dance? I won’t lie, if people were allowed to dance while watching a dancing movie, I might pop in on that.

Riddick is the third movie of the franchise that’s centered around a dangerous criminal whose reputation is known throughout the universe. Everyone knows that Riddick is a badass whose special gift of night vision gives him an advantage when he’s fighting fellow criminals, aliens, or even Necromongers. Pitch Black was the first of this trilogy and it introduced you to Riddick (Vin Diesel) and these man eating creatures that only come out at night when the prisoner transport ship he is on crash lands on a mysterious planet. Riddick and the rest of the crew must fight for their lives as they rely on his unique ability but they are never really sure if they can trust him as he is a convicted criminal. The second was a forgettable mess as he somehow finds his way to a planet that’s being invaded by Necromongers and he discovers that their evil plan is to wipe out the entire human race, I think. It’s been 9 years since that disaster but my friend calls it the perfect mind numbing sci-fi flick to watch while you’re hung over. I think I’ll pass.

Well in this version, Riddick doesn’t adjust too well to the new found power that he has from defeating the Necromongers in part 2. And he once again finds himself stuck on the same mysterious planet from the first movie as evil Necromoneger, Karl Urban, tricks his way back into power and betrays him. The first 20 minutes of the movie shows Riddick barely surviving from all of the injuries he sustained while being attacked and isolated, meanwhile he is also struggling to adapt to his familiar yet dangerous surroundings. Well just as he is starting to get things figured out, he notices that the month long eclipse is headed his way and he must find a way off this planet before the man eating creatures reign over the night and overtake him. He finds an abandoned bounty hunter base and sends out a distress signal which results in two crews landing in search for both him and their fat reward for turning him in.

At this point, the movie decides to spend the next hour or so focusing on a male pissing contest. There is a lot of posturing and funny trash talking but sadly not a lot of action. It’s not until the creatures show up when some cool cgi comes into play and you finally get the cheesy but awesome stunts that you paid to see from Diesel. But once again, there simply isn’t enough of it. I liked this movie mainly because I am a sci-fi nerd but even I realized how boring it was at times. I’ve never seen so many people excited about the fact that they had to get up and go pee during the movie. There is some nice random boob action in the film and the dialogue does keep you entertained for the most part but overall I have to rate this movie as WEAK. It hurts to write that but it’s true; wait for it to come on Netflix and get really drunk the night before!