Now there are only two kinds of people that go hard in the paint on a Monday night and that’s the service industry; people I know and love because the vast majority of my friends fall into this category and I myself was once a part of it, and your total degenerates. Today’s story will revolve around the latter. As I sat in the previously mentioned bar I overheard this scrub gloating to his friends about how much he’s been getting laid lately. He said that the secret to his success is that he no longer dates, he instead spends his dating money on hookers. His friends nervously laughed, mainly because he was loud and they were a bit embarrassed to call him a friend, but also because they were a little intrigued. "Oh word, is this something that could work for me too?" He said "Listen! I figure I’d be spending 2K a month on a girlfriend anyway, so why not just spend 1K a month on hookers instead? It’s great, they don’t give you any shit AND they even bring me drugs!"
Now I guess this conversation was a bit better than the time I went out on a Monday and heard some guy admitting to stabbing his own dad…ON PURPOSE!!! But not by much. The point of all of this is, both scenarios sounded as if they would be a perfect fit for The Equalizer. These poor hookers will eventually need to be saved from this moron and that guy’s poor dad certainly needs some retribution.
And that’s what made the first Equalizer so cool; sure it was a little cheesy at times but it was the ultimate fantasy movie. Who doesn’t want a dad like figure in Denzel Washington rolling up on Russian gangsters and kicking their asses simply because they think they run stuff in America? I know Liam Neeson did something similar in Taken but he never took out an entire Russian mob using nothing but his smarts and the entire Home Depot catalog. By the time that movie was over, I was literally standing up and cheering.
But when they announced that they were making a part 2, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Denzel never does sequels because he knows how lame a Training Day 2 would be. Oh you thought Alonzo was dead? He’s back from the grave to show n-words how it’s really done!
Actually, I’d pay money to see Alonzo train a bunch of young hoodlum scrubs to get back at Ethan Hawke for what he did to him in the first film but that would kill the legacy of that character and Denzel’s iconic performance. And he knows this, this is why he’s always pushing himself to do something different; whether it be in a character he’s portraying, a movie he’s directing, or even acting on stage, he’s always looking to improve and not look back. And who knows, maybe he saw this as his next challenge, making a sequel for the first time in his career and actually making it better than the first.
Well I’m sad to say that he failed. Not that Equalizer 2 was a terrible movie, it just felt forced and a bit stale. What made the first so unique and fresh is completely missing in this film. You’re able to figure out the plot twist and the overall story within the first act of the film and everything that follows is something you’ve seen in every action movie that came out in the 90’s.
Now don’t get me wrong, when he’s still Equalizing and helping random scrubs out, that part is still cool; killing and talking trash to random Turkish scrubs and a wannabe hitman while he’s driving a Lyft car is pretty fresh. And the film’s final battle scene where he viciously takes out his opponents is something that will stick with you for a while but for such a simple storyline, this film ran about 30 minutes too long. Director Antoine Fuqua does his best with the story he’s provided but cool action scenes can only do so much; especially when it’s painfully obvious that they are purposely trying to outdo anything that happened in Equalizer 1.
It hurts my heart to say it but I would only check this film out in the theater if you’re bored or you need to escape the kids. I give Equalizer 2 a rating of kind of WEAK. Now if you will excuse me, my date from Exotic Services is here.
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