Well, we all know that these things happen in threes, so that means everyone in Hollywood is laying off the sauce and the cocaine until the next person drops. Ok, well maybe not everyone as we all know Colin Ferrell can’t help but keep it raw, but having said that, he’s not my pick to be number three. Sadly, my prediction is that it’s going to be the 90’s action hero, Bruce Willis. I know, I know, but look at the facts! You can only bang so many porn stars after your breakup with Demi Moore and you can only try for so long to keep up sexually with your wife who is 23 years younger than you before health becomes a major issue! But having said all that, I must admit that the man is kind of my idol; getting paid to say Yippee Ki yay Motherfucker and marrying a young British girl is pretty much the life.
But all good things must come to an end as getting old is a bitch! And this is what is happening in the world of the talking apes. We all loved Charlton Heston and the mute vixen so much that we had to bring it back with James Franco and the girl from Slumdog Millionaire. And no I’m not being sexist by not listing the females’ names, I’m just too lazy to look them up right now. Hey, it’s a free blog, what do you want from me?!?! Freido Pinto is her name, I believe, but don’t quote me on that. Again, too lazy but let’s just move on!
In Apes you see a greying Caesar and his troop trying to survive as they are now in a full blown war with the humans after Koba lost his damn mind in Dawn of the Apes. The opening scene feels like you’re watching Platoon as you see the human army sneaking up to attack the apes while wearing helmets that say The Master Species or Ape Killer; which now that I think about it, sounds really racist! Man, f^%$ the humans!
But anyway, the first 30 minutes makes you think that you’re merely seeing an extension of Dawn as it’s an all-out war that’s full of shootouts and mass killings. The height of which happens to be the launching point for what makes this movie so special after Woody Harrelson mistakenly kills Caesar’s wife and son while attempting to kill him. It’s at this moment that Caesar ceases any attempts to be diplomatic and basically goes on a suicide mission to get revenge. Now I can’t move on without noting how awesome of a scene this was as it’s really the first time you see Woody Harrelson in the film, and when you do, his face is covered in war paint and he has this crazed look in his eyes! He turns around after he hears an angry Caesar coming after him, cocks his gun, and unloads on Caesar while jumping backwards off of a cliff in slow motion. Now my limitations as a writer can’t possibly do this scene any justice but trust me when I say that it was epic.
Needless to say, Caesar survived the attack and decides to go after Woody after he encourages the rest of the troop to move on to safer lands without him. And for the most part everyone listens except for three of his most devoted troops in Maurice, Luca, and I believe Rocket who decide to come along and help him. Along the way however, they discover this young mute girl named Nova who Maurice decides to basically adopt as his own as it’s readily apparent that she’ll starve to death without them. And it’s due to this random encounter that they are able to track down Woody because this is also the point where they meet Bad Ape (Scott Zahn). Bad Ape is the lone survivor of a nearby zoo that came under attack after the virus started to spread. He has been living on his own for so long that he’s eager to make friends, even if that means taking them back to the zoo where he nearly lost his life to help them find Woody.
Now the rest of the movie I will let you experience for yourself but just know that it’s centerpiece is the not only the battle that takes place between Woody and Caesar but also the battle the two of them are fighting within. While one is struggling to hold on to his core beliefs, the other has seemingly lost everything that made him human in the first place. And it’s because of this focal point, the movie shifts away from being your typical war film to one where you find yourself having your own internal debate; what’s more important, avenging your family or protecting those who are still relying on you? Do you let personal loss affect how you view the world and those whom you seemingly hold responsible for it?
This seems a little heavy and to be honest with you it is, but thankfully the filmmakers decided to provide some comic relief in the form of Bad Ape; something that was sorely missing in the first two. This film was already solid, and probably the best of the trilogy, but the addition of Bad Ape helped it become also enjoyable. Now I have zero desire to watch either of the first two again because they are almost joyless but I can certainly see myself watching this again due to the amount of thought that went into it. Do yourself a favor and see this film as I give it a rating of FRESH!
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