Thursday, June 2, 2016

Alice Through the Looking Glass

Let me first clear up what has apparently become an age old misconception about Black people and our interactions with the sun; yes we actually can get sunburned! I cannot tell you how many people look at me like I’m the Cheshire Cat whenever I reveal this obvious fact to them. "No way! You’re lying!" Nope, I hate to break it to you but Black people just so happen to share all of the normal characteristics every other human being does in the animal kingdom and that includes having an outer protective layer for our bodies called skin.

This is why you never see us "laying out", we’re already dark enough as it is; and the last time we went to the beach we ended up in America! I however am in the minority (which I guess makes me a double minority???) when it comes to this as I absolutely love going to the beach. Even when my body shape made me look like I was Tweedledee and Tweedledum, I was still out there for the simple fact that I love the ocean.

What fascinates me is when someone like the beautiful Anne Hathaway manages to stay as pale as she does given all of the time she’s had to have spent lying in the sun! Hasn’t she seen the movie Soul Man starring C. Thomas Howell? Can’t she just spray paint herself a little darker? Well in Alice Through the Looking Glass, they somehow managed to make her look even more pale than she already is. I honestly thought she was dead for most of the movie; that was until she started talking. And whenever she just so happened to walk into a white background, all I could see was this random set of lips moving. It was like they gave the Cheshire Cat a girlfriend!

Anyway, I remember loving Alice in Wonderland as a kid and even somewhat enjoying the new one with Johnny Depp when it came out a few years ago, but I also remember how forgettable of a film Through the Looking Glass was. Well suffice it to say that the new version is almost as bad.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually liked this movie but three months from now I will have forgotten that it was even made, much less be able to tell you anything that happened in it. There are a few cool moments when Alice (Mia Wasikowska) travels back in time in an attempt to help save The Mad Hatter’s (Depp) family. And along the way, you do get some interesting background information on the characters you’ve come to love or hate for years, but ultimately way too much time is spent on showing the actual act of time traveling itself. This could have been cool but sadly it just wound it being a CGI disaster as you really couldn’t tell what was going on while they were traveling and even a 5 year old child would’ve been able to break down the inconsistencies in the "technology" of it.

For whatever reason they tried to turn Alice into Jack Sparrow in the opening sequences and I guess the producers didn’t get the memo that Borat came out a long time ago. No one alive today still believes that Sasha Baron Cohen is actually funny. I don’t know, maybe the studios thought that they could at the very least break even on this film given the success of the first one, but if you going to bring back such a talented cast, shouldn’t you have given them a director that could help bring out their best and allow them to shine?

I rate this movie as kind of WEAK but it’s certainly worth a watch if you’re bored.

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