Well apparently Lawrence read my review and took my suggestion to heart as The Fappening unfortunately revealed some of her trial runs with the aforementioned bath scene. They didn’t end well. But this now makes me want to throw out a few more suggestions for the talented actress, maybe something involving werewolves and vampires (Underworld reference), or maybe even an R. Kelly reenactment with a local movie reviewer (nerdy Black writer who’s writing this review reference). Hit me up girl, you know I got that Hotline Bling.
(Just as a side note, I actually really do respect Jennifer Lawrence as a person and I think the world of her as an actress as well. So I promise this will be my last reference to any private photos of hers that were released illegally. That is until the Fappening Part 3 comes out and I make a guest appearance)
Anyway, I entered this movie hoping for good things. The first two were actually decent films but Mockingjay Part 1 was really just two hours of kids walking around in the streets while whistling an awful song. My idiot friend promised me that this one would be really violent (he was referencing a 10 year old girl’s experience with the movie for his support btw) but he also said this about the last Harry Potter movie and it wound up being just another Harry Potter movie.
This film starts off right where the last one ended. Katniss is trying to recover from being nearly strangled to death by the love of her life Peeta, while the rebels are making plans to make their final advancement on the Capitol. Alma Coin (Julianne Moore), the rebel leader, wants to continue to use Katniss as inspiration for the fight but she wants to do so as safely as possible. So she has her film crew follow Katniss and her unit as they stay a safe distance away from the actual fighting.
This however doesn’t keep them out of harm’s way as they still have to deal with President Snow’s ingenious countermeasures. He has placed pods that were made by the Game Makers all over the city to destroy Katniss and any other rebel forces who are trying to put an end to his way of life, as well as "mutts" who are basically the evil vampires from I Am Legend, to hunt her down and kill her.
So on the surface, we are set up for quite a bit of action. But in reality, that’s not what we got. There are three or four fresh action scenes that all involve the pods (mini guns and flame throwers) and the mutts. And it’s during these scenes where I thought the producers of the movie were finally going to appeal to everyone who has to suffer through these films, but unfortunately they took the easy and cheap way out. As opposed to stringing a few of these scenes together to create some tension and excitement, then simply fell back on the boring and useless dialogue that the books provided.
If you are an adult with a high school level vocabulary, you will be bored to tears for about 80% of the film. But if you’re a teenage girl, you’ll be brought to tears for completely different reasons. Seriously, there was a poor girl sitting next to me that was legitimately bawling during parts of the movie; her friends of course had to take a selfie of it to document it.
This movie got so bad at times that my idiot friend and I had to subconsciously distract ourselves to keep from falling asleep. The entire movie he thought that Woody Harrelson looked like an old alternate universe Kurt Cobain while I convinced myself that Philip Seymour Hoffman is the Tupac of acting. Didn’t he die two years ago??? How is he in this movie? I fully expect him to be tossing random teenagers backpacks in the next installment of the Maze Runner.
Normally I would give a movie like this a rating of weak but I felt so relieved by the fact that I am finally free of this franchise and all teen movies in general moving forward that I will give it a rating of barely FRESH!
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