Speaking of hot women, this movie is loaded with them; sure most of them die or fall off of a cliff within the first 30 seconds of being on screen but do we really need to get to know them and their innermost thoughts? The answer is no as we are given more than enough backstory on the beautiful Gugino and relative newcomer Alexandra Daddario! I knew Daddario was going to be a star the second she took her shirt off for Woody Harrelson in True Detective, I’m just upset that it didn’t happen in Texas Chainsaw 3D; I mean, who doesn’t like giant boobs in 3D???
Also in this movie, Gugino’s character leaves the Rock for the older looking and almost invisible Ioan Gruffudd. Who, you ask? He’s an actor that’s been around for quite some time, it’s just that he’s so forgettable of a personality that you probably don’t even remember him being in the movies he’s actually starred in. I think the writers even realized how ridiculous of a scenario this is, so they decided to make the plastic man from those awful Fantastic Four movies the Bill Gates of architecture. He has a huge mansion, his own private jet, and some of the world’s largest buildings with his name on them. Oh and his name just so happens to be Riddick, Vin Diesel’s second most popular character. If they really wanted to keep the rivalry going between these two in movies, why not just cast Diesel as the wife stealer, name him Dom, and basically make this movie Fast and the Furious: San Andreas! I would totally pay money to see them race cars around giant cracks in the Earth!
But moving on to the actual movie, the Rock plays Ray, a helicopter rescuer for the LAFD, who after a giant earthquake hit’s the San Andreas fault ,finds himself going on his own personal rescue mission to save his ex-wife (Gugino) and their daughter Blake (Daddario). He has to fly around crumbling skyscrapers in downtown Los Angeles to get to his wife as she is caught right in the middle of the carnage. And as she’s running to get to Ray, all you see around her are flailing bodies, most of which are being thrown from buildings, set on fire, or even being crushed by falling debris; basically everything you want in a disaster movie.
The problem is, even after he gets to his wife, expert seismologist Lawrence (Paul Giamatti) lets the world know that the earthquake in LA was only the beginning; San Francisco has one of even greater magnitude headed its way in a few hours. So it’s up to the Rock to also get to and find his daughter before she falls victim to the deadly natural disaster.
This movie is completely over the top and utterly ridiculous but all of the "the world is ending" movies are; and quite honestly they should be. The storyline of the Rock trying to save his only daughter Blake after he couldn’t save the life of someone else that was close to him plays well with the overall desperation this movie conveys and the acting in it is passable enough to where you don’t find yourself rolling your eyes. But we all came to see stuff get destroyed and this movie definitely delivers on that end. There are some fairly impressive scenes with some of the most historical landmarks getting annihilated by this legendary quake and by the time the tsunami hits San Francisco, you’ve decided as a viewer that you’re all in and that every penny you spent to get in the theater was well worth it.
This movie isn’t poetry, nor is it even all that good but I do have to say that’s it’s entertaining as hell. And really that’s all I expect from a film, so based off of that, I give it a rating of FRESH!
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