Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Olympus Has Fallen



A black man with the French last name of Fuqua? The cynic in me wants to shout out“Get real! Your real last name is Franklin!” But that would just be hating on him because I know that dude got a ton of women based off the fact that he played college basketball at West Virginia AND he’s part French, so he got every flavor of groupie that he could possibly want. It helped too that his parents gave him a little street cred with the ghetto first name of Antoine. 

But the real reason why you should know who Antoine Fuqua is, is because he is a pretty solid and consistent action director. His movies are never great (with the exception of Training Day but that was mainly Denzel) but they are always entertaining and violent as hell. Look at his resume’, and if you haven’t seen some of these, do yourself a favor and get on it : the grossly underrated Brooklyn’s Finest, Tears of the Sun, Training Day, and The Replacement Killers just to name the highlights. His movies never get a lot of hype or the proper marketing behind them but it doesn’t matter because he’s found his niche in Hollywood. Make action movies on the cheap and get a big enough star to draw in a decent opening weekend number so that the studio can make a profit. Who says the Frenchies are dumb and spineless? Well this movie is no different although I must say that the preview made it look so awful that even I contemplated passing on it; but like all true action fans I am happy that I didn’t.

Let me first say that the plot is unbelievably ridiculous and totally implausible. But once you accept this fact and just sit back and enjoy this movie for what it is, an almost shot for shot modern day version of Die Hard 1, then you will find yourself shouting at the screen and cheering with glee when bad guys bite the dust in horrible ways. For the record this happened in my theater as well as a buddy of mine's. Gerard Butler stars as Mike Banning, the head secret service guy for the President’s (Aaron Eckhart) detail. Well after an accident that couldn't be avoided occurs one Christmas Eve night, he is reassigned to desk duty; that is until the North Koreans come to the rescue. In a daring and video game like attack on Washington D.C. using a C-130 (I have no idea what that is, basically a flying gunship) that takes out F-15’s and random citizens on the street, angry military trained mercenaries, and suicide bombers, the Koreans are able to take control of the White House. And with the aid of former secret service agent Dylan McDermott they are able to gain access to the presidential bunker where they attempt to get the nuclear codes necessary to turn our own bombs against us. Along with that they use the leverage they have with having the president as a hostage to pressure the government heads to pull out of South Korea so they can invade and take over. 

There’s no way Gerard Butler can sit on the sideline and allow this happen. So as soon as the attack begins he instantly springs into action and fights his way into the White House. But along the way, the Koreans successfully kill ever secret service agent that was on the premises, leaving Butler as the only eyes and ears for the now acting president Morgan Freeman who tries to handle this situation from the war room with the other military and department heads.  Once he realizes that Butler is his only shot at resolving this nightmare, he releases the ruthless mad dog on these menacing foreigners. “I’m gonna f’n kill ya, I’m gonna f’n cook ya, and I’m gonna f’n eat ya!’ 

I would’ve quoted the “Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho” line from Die Hard but Butler’s weapon of choice for the most part was the knife. And he constantly knives people to death with a stab to the brain as if they were zombies. In a new low point for the desensitization to violence, he has one interrogation scene in particular that has you clapping and laughing as if someone just a got a pie in the face. Morgan Freeman and Angela Bassett work together to fill the role of black cop that encourages him through the hostage situation and Rick Yune does an adequate job of basically playing the Korean version of Hans. I like this movie because while the plot is ridiculous, they never treat it as a joke or make it too hammy, although it does comes close at certain times. They treat it like a true throw back to the late 80’s and early 90’s action movies. What do you mean a supercomputer wont play a chess match with a high school boy to see if the world dies? Of course that can happen. 

I rate this movie as FRESH because of the violent action and because it’s Americans kicking mean foreigners’ asses! I actually had a friend try and tell me that he thought that the movie was stupid which led to my reply “Don’t you like Die Hard? Don’t you Merica?” And yes I purposely left off the A in America for added emphasis. I then promptly called what's left of Homeland Security to turn him in but sadly only Hacksaw Jim Duggan answered the phone so my friend is still roaming the streets free. 

Friday, March 22, 2013

Dead Man Down



I think that winning an Oscar or even being nominated for one does more damage than it does good for your career because all of a sudden you are no longer getting the roles that got you this acclaim. Look at Terrence Howard; granted he was never in great films but he was always playing a role that was in his wheel house. He always played the slightly off black guy who seemed to be a little too intense for every situation he was put in and this worked perfectly for his roles in Crash and Hustle and Flow. After this though, he is all of a sudden playing the inspirational swim coach in Pride or looking uncomfortable as a billionaire playboy’s best friend in Ironman. Now he’s all but forgotten with straight to video movies or television appearances. 

Well if not for horrible marketing he could’ve started making his comeback in Dead Man Down. The preview made it look like another straight to video flick that survived that death sentence only because Noomi Rapace was in it. But it actually turned out to be a decent thriller with quite a few surprising twists you weren’t expecting.  I’ll only give away one pseudo spoiler so you’ll actually go see it so don’t be too worried. But basically the story involves Terrence Howard as a local NYC gangster who is being tormented by random threats on his life by someone who has a personal vendetta against him and his crew. So one by one his crew ends up dead with a clue attached to them slowly revealing the identity of the person responsible for doing this. Colin Farrell plays one of his main guys that he can trust but you’re not quite sure that he is all in with what the crew is doing. Well one day after weeks of gazing at each other from across the way for weeks, his neighbor Rapace asks him out. Rapace was in a horrible car accident and after having reconstructive surgery on her face, she is still pretty but the scars that were left behind led to the neighborhood giving her the nickname, monster. 

Well while on the date, you are expecting the usual “oh they fall for each other but he has to hide his gangster lifestyle from her” subplot until it comes time for him to drop her off. This is when she drops the bomb on him giving him the ultimatum of killing the drunk driver that caused her injury or she’ll turn him in to the cops for a murder he committed that she was able to record. Well naturally the question arises, why not just kill her and move on? Because Farrell is also not what he seems but again don’t think that the movie goes down the traditional path of recent thrillers where you can predict what happens in the previews. I will leave the rest for you to discover on your own so you can also be pleasantly surprised by this movie.

Now before I continue this movie is by no means great but it’s pretty darn entertaining. My main complaint is that western Europeans have it all figured out. They eat healthier, have hotter women, have speed trains to Amsterdam where you can legally take drugs, and they get Noomi Rapace naked on film. Come on US studios, how hard is it to convince this woman to drop her top for her loyal fans? Even with this glaring failure, there are enough twists that keep you guessing but not so many that it turns into the horrible Wild Things (lesbian scenes aside). And the tipping point is the final scene where all of a sudden the movie turns into Die Hard and Collin Farrell is shooting everyone up with automatic weapons and grenades.  I was practically cheering at the end.  I rate this movie as FRESH and suggest that you pop in.
 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

SXSW Bands That Will Blow Up



“Man I really have to stop drinking Hennessey on a Sunday!” “…and man you know I can’t wait to hear Justin Timbo (Timerberlake) son! Cry Me A River? Come on son!” These are quotes from two different people and sadly the quote that you would normally associate with a black guy isn’t the one you would have guessed. But these are the conversations that you have around the time of the best festival in the world, SXSW. This is a time where people who don’t look like Lil Wayne drink Hennessey, those who normally eat healthy are now elbowing others to get to their free Nacho Cheese Dorito Locos Taco, and apparently wearing boxers in place of actual shorts is acceptable. Well somewhere in the middle of all of this there is actual music being played and here are a few of the bands that will blow up in the next year that I haven’t already previewed.

First up is Alt-J. They are four piece indie band from Leeds who have already been up for a ton of British Music Awards and came into SX with quite a bit of hype behind them. When  I initially heard the lead singers voice I was immediately turned off to this band as he sounds like a mix of a Chinese Chris Martin and the lead singer of pre Sex On Fire Kings of Leon. Musically they sound like a weird Mumford and Sons and sadly when you put these elements together you get the result that you would expect from such a wack marriage. I rate these guys as WEAK but I would suggest checking them out for yourself because I met quite a few people who told me they put on a really good show. I would just suggest downing a few sake bombs before doing so.
Next up is Fidlar.  I actually really wanted to check out this self described low fi garage/surf rock band from LA but they kept running up against other bands that I had more of a desire to see. I would describe them more a garage band with punk tendencies as all of their songs are about cheap beer, friends who smoke all of their weed, and awkward moments with girls. I have seen footage of their shows and everyone seems to be going nuts in the crowd, feeding off of the energy the band is displaying. They are a fun act and I give them a rating of kind of FRESH.
Here is the last band to check out for today, Chvrches. After seeing them twice, the jury is still out on these guys. I want to like them but honestly they sound too much like Purity Ring just not quite as talented. Maybe it’s because they don’t look hipster enough; their A&R’s should make them wear mesh t shirts with studded Malcolm X hats. Their songs are catchy but when you’re watching them live you have the same thoughts you do when seeing Cut Copy…”man these guys are REALLY white!”. Who knows, after touring for a while and getting road tested, their live show might improve but for now I rate them as kind of WEAK!.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxxUEzOvU-Y

I know that 2 of 3 artists I said would blow up have gotten a WEAK rating from me but there seemed to be a buzz following each of the acts after their shows. Word of mouth spreads quickly and can lead to undeserved success. I think that people get excited from the hype machine and all of the free alcohol and it isn’t until after the hangover wears off that that they realized they downloaded a subpar album and really shouldn’t have done whip its with that homeless looking guy in the bathroom stall.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Oz The Great and Powerful



Teenage angst has paid off well, now I’m bored, old, and still broke. So I figure that since I am getting old it might be time to prepare myself for doing things that old people do; like marrying someone who’s really young, buying me a few more years before worrying about having kids and my life officially being over. You really can’t blame me for this strategy as Ted Danson laid the foundation for this kind of thinking in Cheers; until he fell for the flat chested Diane for some strange reason. But my first order of business is to actually start liking kid’s movies again, and by kids movies I mean anything that’s not R rated. So I ventured out to see Oz The Great and Powerful starring an only half baked James Franco. 

This movie serves as the back story to the actual wizard of the make believe land of Oz. Sam Raimi of Spiderman fame starts the 3D movie in 8mm black and white footage to let us know that we are in fact in the real world and back in a time before Technicolor existed. It’s really distracting and you honestly could care less about what’s happening on screen but the gist of it is is that James Franco plays this low life magician in a traveling circus whose tricks have finally gotten him into trouble and he has to escape via a hot air balloon. He somehow ends up in a tornado in Kansas and  after pleading with God to spare him in exchange for him do something great, he winds up in the colorful and 3D land of Oz.

Once he crash lands into a pond, we are immediately introduced to quite a few interesting and beautiful creatures, one of which happens to be Mila Kunis. This is where you wish that this was not a G rated movie, because Franco who after being saved, immediately reverts back to slime mode and seduces the young and innocent good witch Kunis. During their introduction Kunis informs him that he is the fulfillment of the prophesy, as the great and powerful wizard who comes from the sky and saves them from the wicked witch. Franco, knowing that he is just a simple con man plays along for a bit so that he can get more answers about this mysterious land he is in. We eventually learn that he is to defeat the evil witch and once he does he can then claim his rightful crown as the ruler of Oz. He agrees to give it a try because there is a lot of gold at stake but along the way we are introduced to a few characters that will aid him in his journey and will ultimately lead to him either changing into the man he promised he’d become or continuing to be the low life we were initially introduced to. He is in a race against time (yes I just typed that and I’m not proud of it) as he must decide which witches he can trust. 

I’ll leave the rest of the story for you to experience on your own but in my view the reason this movie works is because of the writing. Every one of the actors in it gives a mediocre to ok performance but it’s a children’s movie so it’s kind of hard to give memorable and moving effort if you spend 80% of the time talking to a cgi china doll or talking monkey. I guess John Revolta was able to pull it off while interacting with a talking baby Bruce Willis but please, that is acting royalty we’re talking about. The story is good and there are quite a few life lessons discretely being taught as you move along. You also cant help but root for Franco to finally shape up and become the good guy so these wonderful  tinkers, winkies, and witches can be saved. 

There’s enough cool cgi and clever use of non violent action to keep you entertained. And is doesn’t hurt that Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz are on the screen quite a bit. The entire time you really do believe that Franco spent his down time smoking roaches and raiding the buffet table but he holds it together long enough to film a 2 hour movie. Now I know parents want to keep their kids occupied for as long as possible but this may run just a little too long for them. But hey, it’s better than chasing them around the house picking up the puke and poop that they leave behind. I don’t know, I assume that this is what children do. Kind of makes them sound like untrained pets…man it’s so obvious that I’m not settling down for a while. I rate this movie as FRESH! 
 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

SXSW Hip Hop : Pac Div and Flatbush Zombies and Carson Brock

In case you haven’t noticed by now, I am a minority, and I don’t just mean at hip hop shows. I think the only place that Black people can go and be a part of the majority is jail, but that’s only until hipsters catch on and then we’ll be pushed out of there too. My buddy who himself is Hispanic said to me the other day “Man, Puerto Rican girls are mean! They yell at you in public and everything!” Haa! Well yeah man, most ethnic women do, it’s just their thing. But it’s not just the women, the men get in on it too. There’s a short little black dude who sits near me at work and for the most part he’s cool; that is until the subject of hip hop comes up. The second you say anything slightly negative about it he starts spinning like the Tazmanian devil and goes into this tirade like you just dissed his mother. Easy guy,  I know A$ap Rocky rhymed weed with feed but it’s not like he’s reinventing the wheel. The point of all of this is that we are passionate about life and especially music. So here are a few acts that this Black man thinks you should check out in the coming weeks.
If you can’t wait for SXSW to start and want to sneak out a bit early, here is a local kid (19) named Carson Brock who is releasing his second album called Finding Frames.  He has been winning competitions since he was 16 years old and uses Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix as his inspiration. He’s got skill and there’s a lot of distortion in his music so he’s definitely got that going for him; my only reservation is that early on at least, he seems to be falling into the local Austin bluesy rock sound. I really hope that if he is as talented as he sounds at times that he doesn’t try and become the next Stevie Ray Vaughn. Rather I hope that he discovers his own style and helps Austin to continue to rise up from that huge shadow that Vaughn cast over this city.  I will be at the show mainly because dude can play, he apparently has grown up a bit on this album, and I also get in for free for covering him. But it’s only $7 bucks so it shouldn’t be too big of a dent in your wallet. I am holding off rating him until I see him but just know that the company that is promoting him has sent me artists to check out before and this is the first that I thought was actually worth seeing. So hit it up.
After this check out the hip hop group Pac Div who was just recently added to an official SXSW showcase. They are from Southern California and have been in the game since 2006. They get love from Snoop, Pharrell, Questlove and almost every major hip hop magazine out there. When my friend first introduced me to them I thought they were from Miami because of the gully bass heavy beats they rhyme over. But after  I did a deep dive I saw that their name was short for Pacific Division. They seem to have fun with their lyrics but not to the point that it comes across as gimmicky. They have the skills and the image needed to make it big, so do yourself a favor and add them to your schedule.  I hate rating before seeing them but for now I give them a rating of FRESH!
I don’t get Flatbush Zombies. The name sounds fresh and there’s so much that you could do with this but unfortunately this duo chose the wack route. I get that in most music cultures smoking weed is considered cool but these guys almost take it to Afroman heights (no pun intended). Every photo you see of them they’re smoking and almost every one of Zombie Juice’s (again a fresh name) rhymes are about weed. But nothing seems original about his lyrics or his style. And I realize that not everything has to be original but at least make it good and sadly it just isn’t. To his credit Meechie Darko brings it but he is only on half of each track. You would think that coming out of NYC this would’ve been shut down immediately but like my friend says “there’s little pockets of wackiness everywhere man”. This guys are WEAK! They should go back to the studio and rap about how they are zombies yet girls give them brain anyway. Yes I laughed for about 5 minutes from my own joke.
Ok I’m done writing about hip hop for fear that a flying object will be launched at my head by Taz.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Snitch

Typically Hollywood saves the movies that weren’t good enough for an Oscar push or big enough for a summer release for the weekend of the Oscars. So pretty much whatever money it makes that weekend is a bonus. Well this year that movie was Snitch starring The Rock. As you know, I see over 100 movies a year in the theater, so watching the industry’s biggest and most prestigious awards show is like watching a family reunion’s awards banquet for me. You get to root for the family members you like and have watched grow up over the years while booing and yelling at the scary drunken uncle who keeps showing up every holiday, see Russell Crowe.
There I was with my mini feast prepared and my Spanish wine all ready to go. Surely Seth Mcfarlane would insult everyone within the first 5 minutes and with people like Tarantino, Jennifer Lawrence, and Bobby Deniro nominated, you’d have to expect entertaining speeches. Negative, it took all I had not to fall asleep. What a complete waste of time, I shouldve traded in my fancy wine for a 40oz and 100 minutes with Dwayne Johnson!
The premise overall is pretty unbelievable but apparently it is based off of real events. So the Rock’s kid gets busted housing a package of ecstasy pills for his friend in a scenario that honestly quite a few kids would’ve found themselves caught in. Due to the new laws, being caught with narcotics with the intent to distribute comes with a minimum jail sentence of 10 years and seeing as how the Rock’s kid is only 18, his life would essentially be over. The only way to reduce his sentence is to set someone else up but since the kid only knows his friends and no one big time, he refuses to do so. So the Rock is left with no other choice but to force the District Attorney(Susan Sarandon) to allow him to find a big time player in the local drug ring himself in exchange for a reduced sentence for his son.
Through the help of one of his employees, you are taken through an intense meeting with a local dealer Malik played by Michael Kenneth Williams, in which The Rock convinces Malik to let him run his drugs for him via his trucking company. After which you get insight into how drugs and money are funneled into this country and the dangers that come with it. It’s hard to determine where the true events end and where the embellished events begin but if you follow the news at all, every part that shows just how ruthless the cartels can be is totally believable.
Early on the movie is pretty sappy and even though this movie is full of decent actors, the director does an awful job of getting the bets out of them. Susan Sarandon is clearly mailing it in for a check and yes the Rock can actually be good if pushed, see Southland Tales (actually don’t, as I’m the only person on this planet who likes that movie). But no one puts forth a great effort here; it’s like midway through filming someone told them that this movie wasn’t getting a summer release and that only half of it was being filmed in Austin, the rest was being shot in the butt hole of Louisiana. Barry Pepper is cool as the Rock’s mentor and MKW is awesome as Malik as you would expect and to his credit, the director does give you plenty of action towards the end. I just wish the marketing department had done a better job with the advertising so it didn’t feel like a CBS drama that follows 60 Minutes.
The story is interesting, there’s just enough violence in it to keep you interested, and Ruxin’s(The League) hot wife is in it. So based off of that I give this movie a rating of barely FRESH.