2 Guns

It took me forever to write this review because I have been distracted by some good television as of late, as if I needed yet another interest to consume my time.  You would think that sitting in dirty theaters to see dirty old men like Bruce Willis act would be enough for me but no, I also feel the need to romp around through urinal overflow and beer covered floors to see poor hipsters try and pay their rent…um I mean express themselves through art. Well its only fitting that I’ve been distracted lately because clearly Marky Mark and Denzel Washington were distracted with the local bars and women while they were filming 2 Guns. Don’t get me wrong, they had good chemistry on camera but it looked like they got along a little too well; as in we can’t wait to get off set and wreck shop type of chemistry! They both put in just enough effort for each scene to gain the director Baltasar Kormakur’s approval. And let’s be honest, if Denzel and the Funky Bunch say that a scene is ok, is some scrub from Iceland really going to challenge them? I mean, I know they have hot women and metal festivals over there but the cold hasn’t made them crazy enough to challenge a guy that played Malcolm X.

Bobby (Denzel) and Stig (Wahlberg) turn out to be DEA and Special Forces agents who are both assigned to work undercover to try and bring down Mexican drug lord Papi Greco, played by Edward James Olmos. Neither of them is aware of the fact that the other is an undercover agent until they try and arrest each other after a bank robbery. Well after they realize that there is way more money there than what should be, Denzel is framed for killing his boss, and Marky Mark’s life is threatened; they realize that they have been set up. So they decide to work together again to get to the bottom of things and in the process clear their names.

This is the typical 80’s buddy cop movie which has boobs thrown in just for the hell of it and you will certainly not here me complaining about that. Paula Patton’s boob shot is worth the price of admission alone but sadly that’s where most the fun ends. The story itself isn’t all that bad, it’s just that when translated on screen, its not properly executed by Kormakur. There are quite a few scenes that are just too over the top to be even remotely believable, which is ok if the entire film had that tone but it doesn’t.  The fact that a 4’ 2” Marky Mark wearing a tight medium shirt can walk up to a group of Mexican cartel gang members and intimidate them is ridiculous to say the least. I am from north Mexico (Texas) and my head would be swinging from a bridge if I even joked about making better tacos than them, let alone calling them “my little bitches”. And I wont even get into his shootout with a helicopter. Either make yourself a borderline cartoon like From Paris With Love did or be a real cop movie like Red Heat…ok bad example. But Bill Paxton is the only who takes this film seriously and he basically steals the show every time he’s on screen. He has a pretty cool and intense scene with Denzel that actually motivated Denzel to act for about 5 minutes. You could almost see Denzel saying “Oh you’re gonna challenge me?  I was in Virtuosity fool!”

In the end there are enough explosions and scenes with Paula Patton in lingerie to keep you interested; but with that said, I will still give it a rating of kind of WEAK.