The Watch

Are you wondering at what point do comedians or actors lose their edge? Well here are a few ways to help you. If they start wearing fat suits in their movies, then it's just a matter of time. Eddie Murphy got lucky with Nutty Professor but then if you look at his imdb page after that, it's like looking at a Jersey Shore marathon, you just want murder yourself. Vince Vaughn skipped out on the fat suit and well, just got fat the natural way. So now he's making movies like Fred Claus and still dropping the same jokes he did in Swingers only now he's fat and old so they arent as cool as they were back then. It's like hearing Danny Devito drop jokes about sex, it's still kind of funny but in a weird and creepy way. I wish Vince would go back to making movies like Domestic Disturbance and Psycho so at least his unintentional comedy would still be funny.

Another way is if they shrink themselves in a movie or act with shrunken characters like Rick Moranis did in Honey I Shrunk Whatever.Well enter Ben Stiller and Night at the Museum which was full of past their prime actors like Robin Williams and the blond Wilson brother. But before this, for 20+ years Stiller has been playing the same role of the super uptight anal loner that can't open up to others. And yes I know I just put anal and tight in the same sentence while referencing opening up to others.

So what does Hollywood give us? A movie with a super uptight Stiller and a fat and old Vaughn doing their same tired shtick. They also add in Richard Ayoade who wrote and directed the awesome and weird Submarine which came out last year. But he can't act so his delivery of jokes came out as flat as Keira Knightley. And as flat as that joke I just made about Keira Knightley. The lone bright spot was Jonah Hill but even he looked uncomfortable in this tired movie.

Now dont get me wrong, you do laugh out loud 4 or 5 times but it's like the guy at the bar who hits on EVERY girl that walks by; eventually one of them will say yes. They throw out a ton of jokes,mostly about semen and beer. And honestly when you have one the other tends to follow but after the 40th semen joke you can't believe that you actually paid money to see this. The plot is basically about a small town in Ohio and how happy every one is with their normal boring lives until one day when people start dying in mysterious ways. So Stiller decides to start up a neighborhood watch to try and get to the bottom of it. Well only 3 people show up in the form of the actors I just talked about and they form a weird friendship as a result of it. Blah, blah, blah they eventually figure out that there is an alien invasion happening  and that the aliens are disguised as humans, blah blah .blah people are in trouble, friend's feelings get hurt, and...who cares. It's a dumb movie with lame jokes, a horrible action sequence at the end, and not enough boobs on the screen. Although I was happy with the surprise boobs they did flash.

If you absolutely feel the need to see this movie, do so via Netflix. I give this movie a rating of really WACK and suggest that you make your own night of beer and semen instead.