Movies are easy

So there is a reason why I see over 100 movies a year in the theater. I am just not sure that I can articulate the reason why in a manner that would make you think anything other than this guy is crazy. So instead I'll just give you a brief look into what I look for in a movie.

First off, you will not like my reviews of movies if  I loved it and you read the books and were looking for a word for word regurgitation of the books on the screen. There is a reason why it's called an adapted screenplay. They must take the novel or short story and turn it into something that translates well on the screen. For example, if your bad guy was originally supposed to be a giant blood blob that tries to kill Blade at the end of the story, that's great for you to imagine while reading it. However on screen it just looks ridiculous. So instead just have a 5'2" Stephen Dorff develop blood red eyes and say things like "look at you! You're a little bitch!". Much much better. I gave up on looking for the movie to be just like the book in junior high when I saw Fahrenheit 451 and the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet (my school was cheap). The toy cars on fire were hilarious but just totally killed the visions I had developed in my head. Also, we suffered through the awful Romeo and Juliet just to get to the only good scene. You know the one; where they finally hook up and we get to see Olivia Hussey's (great Bond name btw) awesome rack, and the stupid visual aids department has removed the love scene from the movie!!! I mean come on!!! That's like your mom walking in on you right before...well nevermind, you get it. But I digress.

All I am looking for in a big budget movie is to be entertained. Honestly, if you know your movie sucks, just realize that and have fun with it. From Paris with Love is one of the worst yet freshest movies ever! Rent it for a lazy Saturday afternoon and you'll see why! I'll watch anything that has aliens, vampires, robots, and/or martial arts in it. Hopefully all 4. I share this view with a guest blogger friend of mine who you'll meet soon enough. Unless it's a Batman movie by Christopher Nolan or maybe another Terminator movie, no movie should be longer than 110 minutes. While I don't need a tan, I certainly don't want to spend my entire day in a dark room with people who just left their dark room at home.

Smaller budget movies, I expect a lot from. Original stories, non distracting directing, good acting, and the token hottie. Anyway, you'll get a sense of what I like as this goes. And with that said...