Get Out

I used to think that Donald J. Trump aka Donald T Rump Shaker was a complete moron, but now I finally see the error of my ways! I now realize that the man is an utter and complete genius! Sure he has spent the majority of his presidency literally trying to divide us with his travel sanctions and his plan to build a giant wall, but all the while we’ve been so focused on our Muslims and our Mexicans brothers, we have completely missed T Rump Shaker’s true Piece De Resistance; his plan to once again purify the White race. Rereleasing the O.J. Simpson story to the American public in the form of an incredible documentary and a cheesy but fun television show didn’t do it. And neither did a year and a half of gratuitous police killings of Black folk in the neighborhood streets and highways. But it looks as though with the release of Get Out, T Rump Shaker has finally found a way to get Black men to stick to Black poonanny, and that’s to threaten them with a return to slavery.

Oh, now I know that any modern day Black person out there will say there’s no way in hell they’ll ever let slavery happen again, but that’s only if they see it coming! If you blind a black man with some white she devil (I don’t really talk like this) poon, he is PRIME for the sneak attack! And this is why the movie Get Out works so well, Jordon Peele, who is clearly on the T Rump Shaker’s payroll, has hit Black men where it hurts the most; right in the superior but tender genital area.

I knew deep down inside that something was amiss with Allison Williams the entire film but I kept getting distracted by those big beautiful blue eyes as well as that big beautiful rack of hers! "Oh, you want me to go up to the wooded suburbs to meet your 1 percenter parents who I know without a doubt to be racist? Sure, just let me hit it one more time and I’m sold!" Come on man, I’ve seen Mississippi Burning with Gene Hackman, and if I’m going somewhere where there’s a lot of white people and a lot of trees, I’m for sure packing some heat and bringing my boys with me! That is of course, unless my beautiful white girlfriend with boobs the size of watermelons convinces me otherwise.

In Get Out, Rose Armitage (even the name sounds shady) convinces her very Black boyfriend Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) to go up to the suburbs to meet her parents. He’s initially hesitant but eventually agrees to do so for the very reasons I stated earlier. And from the very first moment he steps on her parent’s property, he notices how odd everyone is acting. All of the white people are acting as if they have never seen or been around a real Black man before and the few Black people he does run into appear to be robots who say and do things in a manner that would make you believe they were ordered straight from an L.L. Bean collection catalog. Every fiber in your being would normally tell you to run for the flat lands; not the hills because more white people are up in the hills, the brothers are going to be down in the flat lands! But every time that thought enters Chris’s head, there’s bright eyed Allison, always there to calm him down. So he decides to stay, and that’s when things really got weird.

I have to say that when I first saw the preview for this film, I thought there was no way in hell I’d ever go see it because it looked like the worst movie ever. Plus, everyone knows that any movie that comes out during Oscar weekend is a sure fire flop that just got a courtesy release from the studios. But that’s where the genius of T Rump Shaker comes into play again. This was his ingenious way of pleading to Black people to avoid all of the liberal artists who would surely be bashing him for 4 hours on national television and to go see a film that featured their people instead. Well guess what, it worked! And he even went an extra step by paying off the easily bribed film critics to give it a rating of 100 on Rotten Tomatoes! Coincidence? I think not!

I went in thinking that there was no way this had any chance of being a good film but I am happy to say that it wound up being rather enjoyable. It was funny, creepy, and totally relevant for our times. There are so many subtle messages that are spread throughout this entire film that it had to take Peele his entire life to write this screenplay. He tackles everything from the differences in police interactions with Black and White people to the 1 percenters resistance to the subversion of Black culture, all the while avoiding the death sentence of being too preachy.

And while I am not yet ready to give up White poonanny at this point in my life, I do have to say that I am looking at Janelle Monae in a different light today. After seeing this film, I can’t help but give it a rating of very very FRESH!