Bad Moms

With the return of 1990’s MTV this past month, I have once again been reacquainted with the days of my youth. Watching classics like Nirvana’s Unplugged or seeing old reruns of Matt Pinfield’s 120 Minutes brings back that feelings of excitement I had when I first saw my favorite band’s music video randomly pop up in a show. I also remembered what it was like to discover some random underground band who would never actually make it big but still managed to put out quality music during that time. For only the second time in my life I actually felt cool when I watched these shows; the first time being when I used to dress up and dance around like Bobby Brown did at my junior high dances.

But after watching reruns of Janeane Garafalo’s high school years, otherwise known as Daria, I realized that I have become the old male version of this cynical cartoon character. I make fun of almost every situation I’m in, I wear big nerdy glasses, and the only chance I have of having an exciting sex life is if my tall lanky female friend gets drunk and decides to randomly go down on me one night. How did it come to this? Am I destined to live a life of eating tubs of ice cream while I sit on my couch and pet my evil cats who are secretly plotting my demise? I certainly hope not! My only chance of avoiding this is to go out and tear up the town while I still can! So with that in mind, I’ll see you suckers at the hangover brunch this coming Thursday morning! I’ll be the one in the corner who’s wearing dark sunglasses and contemplating whether or not I should OD on Percocet before the noon rush comes in.

Well speaking of weirdly shaped women who get drunk and cause trouble; I decided to check out the movie Bad Moms this past weekend. Now why would I see movie that has a title like this and isn’t rated XXX? Well because Mila Kunis is in it, that’s why! I will watch her sit in a dumpster and read 200 pages of the boring Great Expectations if she decides to do that as her next passion project!

Now I must say up front that this film is basically the wet dream of every mom that’s ever existed, so you have to go in expecting some fairly unrealistic scenes. Such scenes include Kunis and her newfound friends getting drunk and basically having the best time ever in a local grocery store while swigging bottles of alcohol and scarfing down boxes of food without getting arrested. And then of course there’s the fact that every male in the movie, with the exception of the supposedly sexy Jay Hernandez, is a total pussy or a complete moron. Ok so maybe half of that is realistic. But the fact that they had a super evil PTA president in the form of Christina Applegate was just a bit too much.

I mean I get it, you do have to have an antagonist in the story and she did basically did represent every single pressure packed situation house moms or working moms have to deal with on a daily basis, but at some point it was just a little too over the top (see her planting drugs in a little girl’s locker). But having said that, I do think the writers did an excellent job of showing just how much mothers have to deal with when it comes to raising children in today’s society. And they also showed that if moms aren’t allowed to let loose every now and then, then trouble is definitely on the horizon for everyone who crosses their paths.

I thought it was fun when Kunis and company had a rager with wine at her place or decided to throw away their grandma bras to go out and hunt for men. Although you have to admit that there is NO way it’s that hard for Kunis to find someone to sleep with her. I mean seriously, she could sound like Billy Bob Thorton from Sling Blade while snot is pouring out of her nose and I’d still hit it! Without any hesitation!

Now again this film isn’t Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination but if you’re a mom who needs a break from the monotony or you’re just a girl who hopes to have kids one day, you should definitely pop in on this film to see how to bring a little balance to your life. I give this film a rating of barely FRESH!