Now You See Me 2

I used to work with this nice but super nerdy (and not in a good way) woman from the Midwest. She was tall, told terrible jokes, and lived for things like drinking virgin mead during the annual Renaissance Festival. Now don't think I'm going to come down too hard on her because I too am tall and happen to tell terrible jokes; but the last thing you'll ever see is me daydreaming about becoming Martin Lawrence's character in the Black Knight! That was one of the most ill conceived ideas ever brought to life on film! Although I must admit that reenacting scenes from Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness while wearing a Dez Bryant jersey and throwing up the X before battle would be pretty tight!

Well the reason I bring this nerdy woman up is because she also happened to think that magicians were cool and sexy and that magic was something that was actually real. She honestly believed that the film Now You See Me was a solid confirmation of her wacky beliefs. And who knows, maybe she's right, how else do you explain David Blaine and David Copperfield bagging hot models? Maybe Andre from The League was right too; if I start doing card tricks in bars and referring to all women as "My lady' I could stop trolling for girls who are only looking for green cards and finally find a woman who doesn't mistake me for L.L. Cool J."Mi gusta Kangols!" I may or may not have actually taken advantage of this in the past but moving on...

Now You Can See Me was total cheese but at the same time it was mildly entertaining. I have no idea why they decided to make a part two or why they thought replacing Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers) with Lizzy Caplan would push them over the top but they did. Don't get me wrong, I actually like Caplan and think she's a funny actress but man the writers didn't do her any favors in this film. She was supposed to be this snappy and sassy addition to the team but every joke or "cool" thing she said simply fell flat and made her come off as the girl who was simply trying too hard; so basically she was the Lebron James of magic (no I still don't like him).

And Woody Harrelson had made a return to greatness with his roles in True Detective and Zombieland but boy did he ever fall off hard with this performance. He basically resorted to making awful dad jokes the entire film in a desperate attempt to stand out amongst his peers. And no I don't mean he was telling jokes about fathers, I mean he sounded like your out of touch dad who tries to impress your friends with his corny jokes when they come over. This combined with the fact he and Caplan were on screen together for the majority of the film made for some pretty excruciating cinema!

I won't even attempt to describe the convoluted plot. You should just know that everyone is in on everything and that everyone has their own angle while at the same time apparently being smarter than everyone else. Clear as mud? Good! That sentence was intentionally bad to reflect how awful the plot was. Also the inexplicable hero moments that the film Inception makes fun of is predominant all throughout this movie. I cannot tell you how many times I buried my head in my hands after yet another lame scene. This is about as popcorn of a flick as you can get. Even the unintentional yet intentional funny inclusion of Woody Harrelson's twin brother couldn't save this film. Yes, there are two of them and yes they both tell lame dad jokes. One even has a toupee that looks like a collection of Hugh Hefner's pubic hair that he gives to each playmate of the month as a nice parting gift when they make their way to the closest clinic.

I rate this movie as WACK and suggest that you avoid it all costs!