Theeb

As I walked into the theater and noticed that there was only one other person in the room to see this random Arabian foreign language film with me on a Tuesday night, I began wondering to myself, when was the last time I actually I saw a movie with a girl? It took me quite some time but I finally remembered that I somehow convinced a cute girl to go see 12 Years a Slave with me. She was black, she was visibly upset by the movie, and we never saw another movie together again.

And as I was going over the movies that are scheduled to come out in the next few months, I realized that this streak will continue unless I allow my strong desire to get laid to rope me into seeing The Danish Girl with someone. I don't know, it's something about men undergoing a sex change, being secretly gay, or dressing in drag that draws women to the theater in large numbers. How else do you explain Helen Hunt having such a long and lucrative career? I kid. I kid.

Well Theeb is the next foreign language darling that seems to be drawing quite a bit of praise from critics lately; so I decided that I should pop in and see for myself just what this movie was all about. The story is about a young boy named Theeb who is a part of a nomadic Arabian tribe during the last days of the Ottoman or Turkish Empire. He, along with his family and friends, for the most part seem to be enjoying their normal everyday lives even though there is a World War happening all around them.

Thankfully for them though, they are far removed from any of the action that's taking place, that is until one night when a mysterious British soldier shows up with a guide. He is looking for someone to help him get back to the safety of his company but in order to do so, they must get through a dangerous trail that is littered with nothing but bandits. Well Theeb, as kids tend to do, ignores the orders of his elders and decides to sneak his way on to the expedition. And once he does, he undertakes an adventure that will change his life forever.

Let me just say that I can certainly appreciate a simple story, especially if it is written well and it gives you a fresh perspective on a otherwise rehashed subject like this one. But something moderately spectacular should take place at some point shouldn't it? You can't just give me 70 minutes of random dialogue sandwiched around one pretty awesome scene and expect me to lose my mind over it.

Well that's exactly what the writers and directors of Theeb were going for. In their own artistic way, they slowly reveal all of the angles of their seemingly simplistic story but they do so at such a glacial pace that you find yourself literally pinching yourself to stay interested. You can only watch little Theeb stare intensely at others while he's in the process of growing up far faster than any kid should be made to do so, so many times before it starts to lose it's effect.

There does happen to be one really fresh scene where they first encounter the bandits, and that 20 to 25 minutes alone makes it worth watching, but just know that the other two thirds of the movie will leave you wanting for more; and not in a good way. The final scene doesn't provide you much in the way of a payoff and it's fairly predictable at that; so this movie doesn't even have that going for it. I mean, I get why all of the critics loved it and the more it sits with me, the more I find myself liking it, but there is no way the average viewer will find this movie enjoyable.

And it's because of this, I give this movie a rating of pretty WEAK!