Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Let's Be Cops

Going into this movie, I really hoped that they had spent more time on the jokes and on the story than they did on the title. Even my friend was a bit confused and thought I was talking about ideas for Halloween when I told her what movie I was going to see. But there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to see Cops because my buddy and I used to do something equally as dumb as this. I thought it would be hilarious if we dressed up on a Saturday night in suits, went to the club, bought a bottle of champagne (Andre no doubt), and told girls that I was a rookie hockey player who just signed a major league deal (I'm black) and that my friend, who was Jewish, was my agent. The last part would have actually been believable but for some reason he decided to talk in a French Canadian accent. Anyway, we actually found a few that believed us and there we were on couches drinking the finest Andre the club had to offer. Sadly though, the night ended with me and my buddy stuck in line at the local Whataburger late night, but dammit at least we walked away with a fun story!

Anyway, the previews for this looked hilarious and it looked like they could have taken this story so many places; you can make it another Police Academy with an Old School vibe or you could make it an action comedy like Pineapple Express. Well they decided to go somewhere in between, which on the surface sounded like a great idea but sadly there were far too many misses in it. First let's start with what was good about the movie. Jake Johnson (New Girl) is great in everything he does. He plays the role of Ryan, the former college star quarterback who didn't go pro because of a devastating injury, so he spends all of his time "coaching" these kids who simply get together every week to play pick up football. But in reality he just uses it as an excuse to play QB and to run over little children. He acts as the true catalyst for the idea to not only dress up as cops but to take it to the next level by buying a cop car and working cases. Everything funny that happens in the film centers around him!

Next is Nina Dobrev; she plays the love interest of Ryan's best friend and fellow cop Justin. She's not a great actress or anything but my goodness she's cute! She's like the younger hotter version of Sloan, E's girlfriend from Entourage. Also Natasha Leggero is a show stopper as the lonely hot girl who is randomly rolling on ecstasy by herself. Trust me, you have to see this scene.

Now for the bad; and with the exception of the absurdity of the story, it all falls squarely on Damon Wayans Jr. First of all, how old am I?!?! I remember his father when he was sort of young and doing awesome skits like Men on Film on In Living Color; now his son is basically my age??? Second, we are all used to the wimpy guy that's too afraid to stand up for himself but you can go too far with it. I mean, Wayans makes George McFly look like Sean Connery from the Bond movies! He acted  and sounded like a white valley girl with all of his feminine mannerisms and dropping words like "ew" "dude" and "gross". No girl would ever be interested in him and no guy would ever want to hang out with this clown! I found myself looking at him in disgust and audibly saying to myself "what a little $%^*"! Now maybe that's his shtick but he sucks at it! It's super distracting and takes you completely out of the film.

You know the premise of the story, these two down on their luck guys decide to dress up as cops for a college reunion party, and once they get there they basically realize that they are a bunch of losers when compared to their former friends. But as they are walking home, they discover that everyone sees them and respects them as real cops. So to help them escape their real lives for a bit they decide to continue the joke. Things go a bit too far however when they have a run in with these foreign gangsters and they soon find themselves in the middle of trying to bring down a huge illegal gun operation.

Had they properly cast the role of Justin and smoothed out a few of the action scenes, this movie could have been really good. I did find myself laughing out loud quite a few times but in the end, this just isn't a good movie. I give it a rating a pretty WEAK.

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