Fun Fun Fun Fest Review

As the festival season comes to an end, I have finally accepted the fact that I am old. My body and mind have been completely drained of anything useful and I now even have trouble writing Facebook updates that are grammatically correct or that even make any kind of sense, let alone write a coherent review of any movie or festival. I desperately need someone to invent a Cialis for the brain because lately when I speak I sound like Bill Cosby when he went to the dentist. “Obie kaybee! You bant be to spaybee???” Who knows, maybe I’m having the slowest moving stroke ever known to man! Well while I still a few functional motor skills, here are my thoughts on Fun Fun Fun Fest.

FRIDAY

Best Moment

This was tough as No Age absolutely destroyed their set! They were a breath of fresh air on a day that had a slow start to it with a lot of mellow and fruity acts in the mid afternoon that nearly put me to sleep. There was nothing flashy about their performance but as my friend said, they were doing things that he’s never seen a two piece band do live before. Opting to forgo any of their atmospheric numbers for all bone crushing anthems, they had me jumping up and down like an idiot while contemplating attacking my little rocker friend who was jumping right beside me! And by attacking I mean pulling out the claw and making out with her; but alas, the Walkmen were waiting for me so I had to bounce. Which leads me to the worst moment of the day…

Worst Moment

This belongs to the amateurs who were running sound on the Orange stage. Actually horrible sound was a running theme on every stage for all three days but the act I was most excited to see was The Walkmen. The sound was ok at best for everyone else but the second my boys from New York came on stage it all went to absolute shit! Hamilton’s voice was completely muffled, you could only hear the kick drum, and only part of the piano. I felt awful as we left the booty shaking Big Freedia (sorry, not a fan of dudes twerkin) to see them as I was hyping them up all day to my buddy who had never heard The Walkmen before. They never fixed the sound and they ended up cutting their set short which pissed the band off because they flew 5 hours to get here. Which leads to one of the unnecessary moments of the day…

Unnecessary Moment

Let me preface this by saying, Ghostface Killah reviewed Lupe Fiasco’s latest album and he said that he could actually see flowers coming out his speakers while listening to it. So yes, Lupe has been battling his record company for creative control over his music for the past few years but dude is still really talented and he can really bring it live. That was until it started lightly drizzling and they made him take down his screen which provided his light show and backing graphics. He clearly wasn’t happy as the stage was completely covered and the “rain” actually stopped 5 minutes later, so there was no need for this action. And then apparently some stage hand kept coming on stage during his performance which led him to threaten them with a beat down if they persisted. Finally after two more songs, he finished Superstar, said that that was a good place to end it, threw down the mic, and walked off stage with 30 minutes left to go in his set. Why does Fun Fun Fun feel the need to piss off every artist that comes to the festival? See Danzig (although that was his fault), De La Soul, and pretty much any artist that had sound trouble this year which would include Ceremony, Television, Unlocking the Truth, etc etc etc

SATURDAY

Best Moment

This was by far the biggest surprise of the weekend for me simply because Ice-T has become such a caricature of himself with all of his CSI Guadalajara appearances. “You mean to tell me they don’t sell fish tacos down here? Those sick bastards man!” First off, Body Count came out and proved to those who had never seen them before that they weren't simply black dudes who were trying to play metal but that they can actually hold their own with the best of them. Every song shredded, even the new ones; and Ice-T showed why he’s been in the entertainment industry for the past 25 years by being the consummate old front man.

Worst Moment

This could have gone to how low the sound was for Television and Simian Mobile Disco but I will instead give this award to The Underachievers and their underwhelming performance in the wee hours of the night at Holy Mountain. Their recorded material has promise as they bring that New York swag to the mic with some ill beats but live they simply came off as rookies who just got laid for the first time. You could tell that they were surprised by the fact that people actually knew their songs but tried to play it off like it happens all of the time. They told some ridiculous lie about being on tour and always performing in front of a thousand people a night but that they refer small crowds like this. Riiiiiiight, and I’m sure that you lasted longer than two pumps and didn’t blow your load before getting the condoms on too. They had no stage presence and were clearly out shined by the more creative and engaging Ratking who went on before them.

Unnecessary Moment

This goes to all of the weird, secluded, and secretive “smoking lounges” that were scattered about. I know that cigarettes are supposed to make you relax but these people looked a little too relaxed when they walked out. You couldn’t see what was actually happening in these tents or trailers and all weekend I joked with my friend that they were really having Eyes Wide Shut orgies back there. So one day I decided to find out for myself what was going on but as I approached they asked me for everything short of a blood sample. My address, my phone number, my email address, and a copy of my driver’s license just to name a few; it was at this point that I threw my mask with the elongated beak at the doorman and stormed off! Ok, so I made the part about the mask up but everything else was true. Who knows what was happening in those dens of iniquity but I will find out one day!

SUNDAY

Best Moment

I would normally say that this belongs to the fact that I left after the first MGMT song was played  but I will instead give it to The Men. They, along with The Hunters the night before, had me moshing like I was a 14 year old kid. This was straight forward old school hard core rock and they brought a lot of energy to the stage. Well done sirs.

Worst Moment

This belongs to everyone in the comedy tent for staring at me to see if it was ok to laugh when Sarah Silverman made a joke about wearing black face. I mean, she made jokes about televised pedophilia and THIS was the joke that caused you to pause before laughing? Come on people, I look nothing like the angry black militant.

Unnecessary Moment

This belongs to the festival for only selling Shiner as their beer option. I asked the lady if Shiner was the only choice and she replied that they had four different types of Shiner. That led to my rebuttal of “Let’s be honest, they all taste the same”. She wasn’t amused, so I paid my $7 for my 12oz and walked off. Good riddance Fun Fun Fun, good riddance!