Premium Rush

I have been ill for the past few days and I don't mean the good kind either. I have been coughing bacteria into the unsuspecting world as opposed to having people tell me "that was ill son!" at the end of one my freestyle rhymes. So as a result, I have friends texting me on a Friday night saying things like "We are eating snails and dancing to Daft Punk at Justine's" or they are taking photos of cute girls wearing their bedazzled hats on their heads. Great! I am about ready dive head first off of my apartment building while reading the awful 50 Shades of Grey just to add further pain to my weekend! Well as it turned out I chose to see the movie Premium Rush on a Friday night as opposed to inhuman death.

I love riding my mountain bike probably more than I should and I get the brotherhood that exists between riders but even I couldn't get past the cheesiness of this movie. Don't get me wrong, this movie does offer a special treat in the form of cycle vision which is both ridiculous and awesome at the same time. It's a weird mix of the unforgettable Meet Joe Black death scene and the Sherlock Holmes future vision that Downey Jr uses in fights. Or if you need another example, my best friend's personal favorite Numbers vision in that awful show on CBS called Numbers. Anyway, he uses cycle vision to predict which routes will lead to death, serious injury, or safety and this is what makes him the best bicycle messenger in New York.

Now if the movie was just about this it might have been alright. But instead it adds in this lame story of some stupid receipt that needs to be delivered to Chinatown in an hour and a half or there will be serious repercussions as a result of it being late. And for some weird reason this odd ball cop keeps chasing Joseph Gordon-Levitt through the busy streets of Manhattan for it.The story takes place over a 4 hour period and they chop it up and present it in a non linear fashion to try and add intrigue but ultimately the lameness seeps through. To their credit, the actors do the best they can with the material they have but if you have never actually seen Michael Shannon in anything please don't let this be your first experience. He is brilliant in Take Shelter and Boardwalk Empire but he just looks embarrassed to be collecting a check for this movie. Also it's good to see Dania Ramirez and her mammories getting screen time.

I didn't hate this movie. As a matter of fact I was actually quite entertained by it but it's definitely a B movie with a low level A list actor starring in it. So this is the only reason why it got a theatrical release. I rate it as kind of WEAK and suggest seeing it if you're on a date with a girl who thinks that Lady Gaga is the next Joni Mitchell.