Nickel Boys

I've watched Roots, Insecure, and R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet enough times to know what's what!

So, I can tell when something is truly black or not. And this is why you should think my review of Nickel Boys is on point. Now, I have to say upfront that this is one Colson Whitehead book I have not read, so, I don’t know how difficult it was to adapt it to a screenplay. But you know my thoughts on this; films should stand on their own merit regardless of how hard they are to adapt to the screen. And I read Underground Railroad and they totally softened it up for the streaming TV series. They pulled everything from the book that was considered too harsh or would make white people feel too bad. Sounds like our future grade school curriculum! And sadly, it appears the same occurred with this film.

Now, I must say that I have to give the director credit for doing the best with what they were given from a screenplay perspective. If the writers are going to pull the teeth from the story, at least film it in an interesting way. So, director, RaMell Ross (such a Black name) chose to film it from a first-person shooter perspective, similar to what you would see in a video game.

Just imagine Call of Duty: Black Ops (and yes I chose Black Ops intentionally) but instead of gunning people down, you’re having deep discussions about segregation, racial tensions, and making something of yourself despite your country’s every effort to hold you back. Doesn’t sound like much of a top seller in the game market, does it? And sadly, it’s not as much of a game changer on the big screen either. In fact, the only film I can think of that came close to pulling this off was the action film Hardcore Henry which came out 10 years ago. And while it was mildly entertaining, it was also rather forgettable. Kind of like Netflix films before Netflix started making their own films.

The only arena where this could work would be porn. Wait a second! First-person “shooter” porn?!? I think I may have just discovered the next TikTok! This is an amazing idea! Review over! This is all I can think about now! Can you imagine seeing a film with Tyffany Million or Eva Elfie where it seems like you’re the one actually banging them? This is genius! So many nerds would never leave their homes!

Although I have to say, this probably already exists and I just don’t know about it since I don’t watch porn. Full disclosure…I had to Google “top porn stars today” to come up with those names. The only ones I know are Jenna Jameson and Misty Rain and both of them are either dead or at the porn star retirement ranch in Vegas.

But anyway, my point still stands. Dramas about boys in a reform school in the south should be shot straight and the story should pull no punches. What makes the book so interesting is the fact that the Black side of the reform school had horrific beatings, torture, and the random disappearances of kids whenever they acted up in the eyes of their white taskmasters.

And while they mention it at times in the film, they never really show any of it. There’s one scene where they build up a beating that’s to come but when it was time they literally switched over to a black and white scene of butterflies flying around. It’s like when they made us watch Romeo and Juliet in school. When it came time to the scene where they banged, the teacher would stop the video, fast forward through the good stuff, and the next thing you know, Juliet is eating a peach while smiling at Romeo! What the hell? It felt like our first experience at a strip club. All foreplay, no finish!

But that’s honestly the closest they ever came to showing us or exposing us to any of the awful events that occurred at these types of reform schools. Sure, the final five minutes finally addresses it, kind of. But at that point you’re so bored from watching these two boys just sit around and talk about mundane stuff for 2 hours that you really don’t care anymore.

Look, we know this stuff happened but in order to keep it from happening again, you have to expose people to just how gruesome and evil racism is. But they simply don’t. They chose the path of going artsy instead and it’s because of this I give Nickel Boys a rating of really WEAK!