The Man With the Iron Fists

Why is it that when I sit around drunk and throwing out crazy ideas with my friends that 2 years later a major studio film isn’t a result of it? At best I get a random motorboat and a story about how I was hiding from the black helicopters outside my window after I ate a mysterious brownie at a college party. Welcome to Austin Kelly! Well, while filming American Gangster, Russell Crowe and RZA found out that they had similar interests in music and instantly became friends. And no doubt in between weed sessions RZA told Crowe of his love for kung fu flicks. The result of their partying is The Man With the Iron Fists. While this is a cool story it just makes me feel like I’m a bigger scrub than I initially thought. 

I have been a Wu Tang fan for as long as I can remember and if you have followed them at all, you know that at least half of their rhymes or aliases revolve around kung fu flicks or comic books.  Rza in particular has been looking to make a kung fu movie forever, even appearing in Ghostdog while also providing the score and the soundtrack for it. Well after hanging around Hollywood long enough and making a few friends, he was able to team up with Eli Roth to write the screenplay for Fists. Add in Quentin Tarantino to produce it and have a major star like Crowe in it and you have your dream coming true. 

I didn’t quite know what to expect when I saw the trailers. Would he try and make it too serious like Crouching Tiger or would he stay true to the kung fu that he grew up loving like Tiger vs Crane or 5 Deadly Venom? While serious kung fu movies can be good, everyone prefers the cheesy dubbed movies with a super simple revenge plot and lots of kick ass fight scenes. And thankfully that’s what he delivers. From the opening scene of Gold Lion showing off his deadly fighting skills, you can see that Rza in his directorial debut isn’t in over his head. There isn’t any shaky cam or anything to really distract you from what’s happening on screen. And while the actor’s voices aren’t dubbed, they do speak (in English thankfully) in a manner that is full on cheese! Now this can be attributed to their bad acting but you must remember that most of these guys are martial artists first and actors second. Plus there is more than enough Russell Crowe and Lucy Lui in it to provide the acting chops the movie needs to not be a complete disaster. Similar to Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. 

The plot seems a bit convoluted at first, especially with the mumbling Rza serving as your narrator. But you get used to him and his ghetto voice over. It might help to listen to a Bobby Digital album or two before heading in. But basically Gold Lion is betrayed by his two younger brothers Silver and Bronze Lion so that they can get the country’s gold that he was hired to protect.  X-Blade who I believe is related to Gold Lion is out for revenge for his death. Russell Crowe is a British soldier who is mysteriously on vacation in this tiny little Chinese town and is staying in Lucy Lui’s brothel. Rza is the town’s blacksmith and he also just happens to make the deadliest weapons in this particular region of the country.  His girlfriend is also an employee of Lui’s in the brothel.  Things come to a head when all of these forces meet in this little town especially when we are introduced to the Geminis and Brass Body. 

Basically just know that eventually all the storylines get connected and it’s all an excuse to have people beat the crap out of each other. The freshest part of the movie without a doubt is Silver Lion. He is by far the best villain that has been on screen since Hans from Die Hard. If you have ever seen Dave Chapelle’s version of Prince, then that is the perfect description of him. Every scene he has a new hair style and practices his shit talking before bringing the pain on anyone that is in his way. Part of you wants to see a prequel of Iron Fists with a storyline that revolves just around him.  

Other cool things to look out for are the odes Rza gives to some classic Bruce Lee movies in the form of the final fight scene or the shout outs he gives to comic books by the way he films it. Also he stays true to the old kung fu flicks by announcing each fighting style he introduces. And to you Bobby Digital fans, there’s even some love shown to his song Kiss of the Black Widow.  I could go on and on but I’ll spare you. Just know that Russell Crowe is basically living out his fantasy by spending the first hour of the movie banging a trio of hottie Chinese prostitutes and that Rza doesn’t stray from the classic martial arts formula by distracting you with nudity. Normally I wouldn’t be down with this but it makes sense here. Do yourself a favor, grab a few beers and a few friends and go see this movie as I rate it as really FRESH!