Sinister

It’s no secret that minorities don’t stand a chance in horror movies. Either they are the first to die or they die in the most horrific ways possible.  I used to be offended by this but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that most Black people are either always packing heat or will run at the drop of a hat and ask questions later at the first sign of trouble. So if neither is done, then I figure they deserve it. But then someone brought up the point that they think women actually get it worse. Which led to a female bartender’s response “What? Herpes?”.

Well Sinister avoided this by having zero living minorities. The only ones they did have were dead Mexicans who only lived via old film footage. Yes they have now found a way to kill us before the movie even starts! But that’s the only issue I have with this creep fest. If your career is fading Ethan Hawke, then just star in a horror flick. And the good thing for him is he starred in one that was smart enough to be rated R and actually had a good story. I just recently learned that the script was written by a former movie critic, so expect my screenplay to come soon, The Terminal 2 : The Reckoning.  “In Krakosia, Halloween for goat! Is for goat!” I know that only about 2 to 3 people will actually get that joke but I don’t care. 

Ethan Hawke is a famous author who writes books about unsolved murder mysteries. And to get to the bottom of these mysteries  he relocates his family to the town of these gruesome crimes.  But this time he moves his family in the actual house of the latest mass murder unbeknown st to them. The movie starts off showing the hanging of a family of four with the person who is responsible for it appearing to be a ghost.  Well as Hawke is moving in he finds a mysterious box that is full of these “family films” and a movie projector. Each home movie shows someone filming the family doing normal everyday activities but then quickly transitions to the actual murders of these same families. And in each case, a child in each family ends up missing.  So Hawke is trying to get to the bottom of these missing children cases but with each movie he watches he is slowly losing his sanity as weirder and weirder things start happening in the house. Not to mention the fact that he thinks he’s found a pagan deity to be behind each murder. 

 I will say that even though this movie kind of reigns it in with the gore, that doesn't mean that it is for the faint of heart. There are some dark themes covered here and some pretty horrific death scenes. But if you’re on a date it’s great because your girl will be jumping in your arms with each nighttime scene where there are constant scary noises and surprises.  None of the child actors are distractingly bad and they manage to cut most of the cheese element out of it. It’s good to see Ziggy  from The Wire getting some decent work too.  The final 15 minutes is a little hardcore but hey, if you're a fan of horror then this is right up your alley! Even with the absence of boobs, I will rate this movie as FRESH!

Oh as a side note, as I was writing about the evil pagan deity my phone started vibrating and scared the crap out of me! Go see this movie!