Safe - Jason Statham

What is the recent fascination with Kevin Hart lately? Am I the only one who doesn't think he's that funny? I do chuckle from time to time but wasn't this the same guy that was in Soul Plane? As a side note, this movie is also responsible for Sophia Vergara, so I guess there was some good that came from that mess. And in the end Hart is a thousand times better than Dane Cook but it just seems like we latch on to the wrong talent. For instance, there has been a steep decline in true action stars these days. We keep trying to force actors into this role like Ryan Reynolds, James Mcavoy, or Jaden Smith. While good actors in their own right, they aren't the next Arnold or Stallone. Then there are some reluctant action stars who might fill this role but feel the need to do serious material as well such as Will Smith, Matt Damon, or even Sam Worthington. What we need is the macho dude who rips off his shirt for no reason and says awesome one liners like "you're luggage!!" after shooting an alligator or Wesley Snipes telling Chuck Raine "You ever play roulette? Always bet on black!"Well we have such a star but for some reason he doesnt get the blockbuster action movies. Granted, it doesn't help that he's 5'3", bald, and has a permanent 5 o'clock shadow but hey, Tom Cruise is also 5'3" and certifiably insane and he had a pretty good run with action movies. The person I am talking about is Jason Statham. All he does is Crank (see how I did that?) out awesome flicks that fill your need for mindless awesome action entertainment. And his latest film Safe didn't disappoint. Is it Shakespeare? No, but man it's full of gun play, mixed martial arts, and even an attempt at a story.

So essentially here's the set up. There's this young Asian girl who is a mathematical genius, I swear I'm not making this up. She apparently can look at anything with numbers and remember it instantly. She is taken from her mother and is forced to work for this Chinese gang who runs quite a few illegal businesses. Meanwhile, Statham is an ex badass cop who is now a down on his luck cage fighter. After he doesn't throw a fight that the Russian gang tells him to throw, he comes home to find his wife murdered by them. Their paths cross when the Russians attempt to kidnap Mei (math genius) because she alone has this secret code in her head given to her by the Chinese. She somehow escapes and Statham, who is about to kill himself, sees her running for her life and then decides that he now has a reason to live and that reason is to make sure this girl isn't harmed. That, along with a few homo erotic exchanges between men, is basically the movie. They reveal what the code is for as the movie goes on but honestly who cares; we just want to see Statham knock someone out.

What makes this movie worth seeing is the return of some classic over the top action scenes and one liners we've been missing. For example, there is a scene in a bar where Statham forks (as in silverware) a Russian to death and then literally leaps across a restaurant to kick, punch, stab, and shoot to death a table full of gangsters with ease. This is later followed by him eating a tasty sandwich and telling his sandwich man "Now this is great! I've been in restaurants all day and all I've been fed is hot lead". Haha awful for certain, but this is what you want in an action movie. Also props to the director for a pretty cool throw away scene where he films Statham running over a bad guy from the viewpoint of the backseat of a car. All in all, despite some bad dialogue and the lack of a random Chinese or Russian stripper scene, this is a pretty entertaining film and I would give it the rating of PURE FRESHNESS!!! However if you're looking for art, then it gets a rating of kind of weak and I would say wait until it's on netflix.