I have received some pretty fresh birthday presents in the past but Furious 7 coming out on the same day as my birth ranks right up there at the top! Fresh cars, girls in bikinis, and random explosions is all any man could ever ask for as he gets older. But as I was thinking about the freshness that is the Fast and the Furious franchise, a question came to mind; what was the real reason behind Hollywood releasing this movie on Good Friday?
Is it because they think that Paul Walker is the real savior? Are they expecting him to randomly appear in my living room one day with a steering wheel stuck in his chest? And is it still way too early for me to make that joke? Well if his grave is found empty on Sunday morning, I will then change my view of him but as of now all he was, was just a cool actor whose movies I once enjoyed while he was alive. So having said that, I was both excited and a bit anxious about seeing his final film on screen. Every time a car crashed I cringed just a bit as it reminded me of the time I was watching The Crow, I just kept waiting to see the scene where Brandon Lee was accidentally shot on set. Thankfully nothing that creepy ever happened but they did give him a nice CGI sendoff at the end; it wasn't an Eazy-E "see you at the crossroads" sendoff but it was fresh none the less.
Thankfully the Furious franchise gets it, it's followed the Final Destination pattern to a tee, one where you actually try and make a decent movie with a real storyline in the first movie and then just say screw it and make a film that's full of nothing but what the public wants in the sequels. In Final Destination it was gruesome death scene after gruesome death scene and in Furious it's just fast cars doing fresh shit like causing explosions and fist fights between the Rock and Vin Diesel. Well Furious 7 is no different as its 140 minutes of nothing but guns, explosions, and big booties!
Director James Wan (The Conjuring) has clearly been hanging out with nothing but black people lately as this film had more shots of women asses in it than the last Penthouse magazine I stole from my neighbor did. If you've been in a hole for the past decade and haven't seen any of the Furious movies, just know that Dom (Diesel) is the leader of some of the best street car racers the world has ever seen and over the years they've pissed quite a few bad guys off. Well the latest guy they've upset is Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham); he is looking for revenge on Dom and his gang as they took out his brother in Furious 6.
Shaw is an ex black ops badass who is basically a shadow, so he has the ability to show up anywhere at anytime and can take out an entire security team all by himself. He puts the Rock in the hospital in a pretty fresh fight scene early on in the movie and then turns his attention to Dom. He almost takes out Dom too but CIA agent Kurt Russell and his team come in to save the day. They make a deal to help Dom and his team find and take out Shaw but Dom's crew has to first help them find the developer of a new virus called "God's Eye"; it's a new software that allows you to track anyone's whereabouts at anytime. They must find her before someone who has bad intentions does.
So this of course leads to awesome over the top scenes where race cars are dropped from a plane, Paul Walker is taking on a kung fu master, and the Rock breaks out of his cast by simply flexing his muscles. There were multiple times in this movie where I found myself cheering and clapping and by the time the Rock double taps a drone plane to death and takes its mini gun, I knew that this was one of the best movies of all time. Wan does an incredible job filming these awesome action scenes and while he adds his own unique style to it, it's not so distracting that it takes away from the movie; much like the shaky cam did in the past.
So many fresh things happen in this movie that I could write about them for days but I will just let you experience them for yourself as this is one of the best action movies to come out in a while. While saying goodbye to Walker was a bit of a downer, you can tell that the franchise is in good hands with those who are still living. I rate this movie as TIGHT, mainly because it made my buddy feel slightly gay for a second when he was reminded of how good looking Walker was in the first Furious movie.
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