The Gambler

I knew going into this movie that it was universally panned by almost every critic and fan out there but I didn't care because I have a soft spot for movies about gambling. I dabbled in gambling for a quick minute in college, so I can appreciate putting $100 down on green on the roulette table or doubling down on a hand of black jack when it doesn't really make sense to do so just for the hell of it. I used to study the weekly NFL lines more than I did my actual Physics book and that explains why I got the grade I got in that class.

So you can see why I love a terrible movie like Keanu Reeves' Hardball; sure G-Baby was a cute little kid but what really made the movie for me was seeing Keanu's buddy John Hawkes making the cash money sign in the background because he had money on a little league game with Diane Lane. Too this day I am 100% convinced that this movie is where Drake and Johnny Manziel got their inspiration for the Topszn sign.

But moving on from mediocre music and football players to this mediocre movie. For some reason someone in Hollywood thought it was a great idea to give Rupert Wyatt, director of the decent Rise of the Planet of the Apes, a big budget to make what should have been an indie movie at best (to steal a line from this movie). The Gambler is an introspective look into Jim Bennett's (Mark Wahlberg) life and what is causing his gambling issues. We are first asked to overlook the fact that Marky Mark is supposed to this one time successful book writer who is now a renegade literary professor who teaches his kids to look past what society feeds them and to look at the reality of the world.

But what he fails to realize is that what he considers to be reality is the root cause of his own self destructive behavior. He is the grandson of the 17th richest man in California and he blows all of his money away on gambling. At first some of his tactics and trash talking appears to be funny and cool because it's what we all wish we could do but as you see him constantly lose and subsequently get himself into more and more debt and trouble, you realize that all he is just a confused self involved jerk who really needs to be punched in the face by a couple of old black men; and thankfully that happens at some point in this movie.

The sad thing is, this movie could have been good if the writers knew how to write a story that made you connect with at least one character in it. I get it if you don't want people to connect with the gambler but at least make his love interest believable; her role was contrived at best. The misunderstood basketball player was a bit trite and the multiple shots of a shirtless John Goodman looking like the real life Jabba the Hut will forever be burned into my memory.

The low point of this wannabe existential film was when Marky Mark runs off to do something important while this choir team sings their awful rendition of Radiohead's Creep. Can you see the pretentiousness that was dripping from this movie? Everything about this movie was awful and I give it a rating of WACK!