I haven't partied this hard since ACL 2 weeks ago! Only this time I didn't leave smelling like dillo dirt; I instead left covered in dust and smelling like hipsters, tequila, and Frank's hot dogs. On to the best moments, worst moments, and unnecessary moments of each day.
FRIDAY
The Best Moment
This day was really my walk around and say hi to everyone day as I was not that excited about anyone that was scheduled to perform. I was checking out Hannibal Burress the comedian mainly because my friends wouldn't shut up about him and I am glad I did because he delivered. He had great stuff on his altercations in London, interracial porn, and he even broke down UGK's awesome song Pregnant P&*#. If you can find this anywhere do yourself a favor and listen to it. I've always thought this song was funny on its own but I've never really picked it apart like he did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj7GlpYRuqs
The Unnecessary Moments
This was actually a tie. Between The Black Lips (I could really just stop with this) and the publicity stunt Terrance Mallick pulled by sending an incoherent fat Val Kilmer on stage to throw guitars and yell random nonsense in the mic. Dont get me wrong, when he rolled out the walker, that was funny but was this really necessary? The second moment came when FFF bothered scheduling anyone against Run DMC? It's not like Run put on that great of a show anyway but you had to know that every hipster or old person within walking distance was going to be there just so they could say they saw them and lie to themselves and others about how great it was. So let poor Dillon Francis play like 30 minutes before they come on stage so it's not just him, his family, and a drunken Kilmer watching his set. And I am sorry but you could tell Run DMC was rusty and was really just there to collect a check. I didn't come to see Jam Master Jay's kids be unimpressive on the one's and two's for 10 minutes. R.I.P. Jay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w98YTEYoPMY
The Worst Moment
Superchunk. Or as my friend said...Super blows chunks! I grew up in the 90's and they sucked then. The only reason I saw them perform was because I was knee deep in some frito pie from Black Sheep. My ears are still hurting from this whiny screechy set.
SATURDAY
The Best Moments
Seeing Paul Banks do his own sound check was a highlight. I bet he hasn't done that since Interpol's Turn On The Bright Lights days. He put on a great show as he was his usual dark and witty self however most of the crowd didn't quite know what to think of it as I am sure they were just waiting for Interpol songs. Danny Brown put on one of the hypest hip hop shows I have seen in a while. I could tell my friends were a bit scared that's why they hung in the back; and as soon as he came on stage rocking a big black blouse they bolted. But this is all a part of his weirdness and the crowd fed off of it. Mix that with the crunk beats and you had everyone dancing in the crowd. Refused delivered as expected and they actually seemed happy to be here, their first time in Texas since 1996 when someone said they were Skid Row wannabe's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLs3vdfYoEU
The Unnecessary Moment
The fact that Johnny Rotten is fat. Come on dude, I know you're old and you probably still get the random cougar groupie once a week but you haven't done anything since the early 90's and you're rich. Get on a treadmill. Great show though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzNjmIWbns4&feature=fvst
The Worst Moment
A$ap Rocky. I've been burned by this scrub twice now; once when I bought tickets to Aesop Rock by mistake thinking it was him and now this past Saturday when I left Refused a bit early to catch the end of his set. I am beginning to believe that the reason he keeps delaying his new album is because it might actually suck, so he's just milking the hype for as long as he can. His show was awful because it was like we were watching bad karaoke. How hard is it to get instrumental tracks dude? His dj just played his album really loud and all you heard was the recorded tracks while he jumped around and acted like he was doing something. You couldn't even hear him. And yes, even though I left Kreayshawn a song into her set because she was so awful this still beats it. Also, if you like Girl talk, please stop reading now and skip to Sunday. But how can this guy get any money outside of appearance fees? And why do people listen to him? He basically just plays other people's music and mixes them together. He doesn't add his own flavor or sound to it, just blends them together and people swoon. We had a dj like this in middle school called Electro dj who would mix Mariah Carey and AC/DC and we would just laugh at him because it was so ridiculous! This is the most unoriginal thing I have ever heard. I had to pee so bad as I was leaving the fest and was forced to hear him as I was walking out. And thought for quite long time about just pulling it out and doing a drive by peeing on everyone that was there.
http://onlyfreshness.blogspot.com/2012/05/help-me-help-you.html
Sunday
The Best Moments
This honestly would go to the entire day as Sunday was the best by far. It started with the Japandroids who thanks to the all ages venue had a packed staged and the kids brought the energy as they opened with Adrenaline Nightshift. Even this old man joined the dusty mosh pit and even ran into the kid i met at the No Age show just a few months ago. Man to be 18 years old, listening to great music, and rocking out at shows; it just seems that the kids who had to suffer through the boy band era got screwed! Araabmuizk was better than I expected. His hype man was kind of weak but he wasn't even really needed as Arab kept dropping hot beats and had everyone dancing. This was day 2 of me remembering that you can do a beer and a shot for $10 so needless to say I took full advantage and was um, a little warmed up for this show. De La Soul should give Run DMC some tips on how to keep it going as they absolutely brought it! Making use of both stages they ran from side to side getting everyone hyped playing everything from 3 Feet High to Grind Date. Despite the technical issues they were having (we couldn't tell anyway) they kept it professional and fought through it.
http://onlyfreshness.blogspot.com/2012/03/more-music-from-hipsterville.html
The Unnecessary Moment
Not letting us know that Omar Rodriguez Lopez was playing after all. Had it not been for a random update from my friend that he was replacing Rakim (typical) I would have missed out on his freshness. Also more info on the fact that he was bringing his new band Bosnian Rainbows featuring Le Butcherettes's lead Teri Gender Bender would have had me properly prepared. But once I saw this crazy beautiful nut job running and gyrating on stage, I instantly knew who it was.Love you Teri, page me!
http://rodriguezlopezproductions.com/Bosnian_Rainbows
http://onlyfreshness.blogspot.com/2012/05/la-la-land-of-crazy-girls.html
The Worst Moment
No I wont say something lame like "that it had to end". I will however say the worst moment came in the form on the dust bowl. Come on Austin, Auditorium Shores is such an awesome spot, take care of it.
Oh well, on to next year where we will once again see beach balls being bounced around on the Blue and Orange stages meanwhile blown up condoms are being bounced around the Black Stage. That's how we do! Also, to all my hipsters in denial friends, please mix it up a bit more next year. I like the Black Stage as much as the next man but 3 straight days of all punk and metal gets a little old. These are the same people who grow up to attend the Monsters of Rock tours like that's actually cool..
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