Avengers: Infinity War

Let me first start off by saying that I completely understand; the older you get and the more money you make, it’s hard for anyone to stay motivated. I don’t care if you’re Kanye West waking up to Kim Kardashian every morning or if simply you’re Fred Durst waking up to the stripper versions of Carmen Elektra after playing yet another theme park in rural Kansas; at some point you relax and you stop consistently tapping into those creative juices that once made you so special. This is why you see once cutting edge acts like Nine Inch Nails and Yelawolf playing old man rock festivals in the parking lot of an arena in San Antonio. And yes, you read that correctly, they aren’t even big enough to actually play in the arena anymore, they just roll out the stage the cheerleaders usually practice on and make these scrubby entertainers dance for the corndog eating bikers of yesteryear.

But you know what? I’m ok with this, these bands aren’t hurting anyone, they’re just trying to support their estranged hookers and illegitimate children; or in the case of Yelawolf, his drug habit and his need for the latest Yeezes. And speaking of Sir Kanye, he chose to go the opposite route; instead of gracefully drifting off into the land of obscurity, he decided that it would be a great idea to troll Black America. Yes, the same Black America that supported him after he went on national television and sounded like a lost child in the mall who somehow stumbled his way onto a telethon. He thinks that he’s being a marketing genius but in his attempt to become the next Andy Kaufman, he has regressed as an artist and now has become the wack version of MC Hammer. And I say the wack version because at least Black people still respect Hammer and what he did with those amazing pants.

What’s the point of all of this? Marvel didn’t let the girl with the fat ass lull them into complacency. After 10 years and 18 films, they could’ve easily mailed it in and given the people yet another mindless crowd pleasing conclusion. They instead chose the route of doing something they’ve never done to this point which is to give us a thought provoking film that doesn’t provide any closure. Now, of course I’m aware of the fact that there is a part two of Infinity War coming out next year and that Thanos (Josh Brolin) does possess the time stone that could in theory reverse everything he’s done to this point (a likely copout) but that doesn’t take away from what they accomplished with this film. For the first time that I’m aware of, people walked out of a Marvel film crying and shaking their fists in anger. "What do you mean the good guys didn’t win? There’s no way everyone died; that’s not fair!" And yes, props to Marvel for pulling off the ultimate Episode 11 of a Game of Thrones season. Hell, at one point I thought they were even going to film the actual, real life death of Stan Lee; talk about the perfect Fourth Dimension moment!

At this point, you already know the plot, supreme badass Thanos has finally kick started his evil plan of collecting all six Infinity Stones (the particles that formed the universe) to control and "save" the universe from itself. His plan is to help us hold on to our resources by killing off half the universe’s population. The way he sees it, there’s no way the universe can sustain itself at the rate we grow and abuse our surrounding environments. And I have to say that I agree with him, anytime I roll up on a party in Texas and they run out of Bud Light, you know there’s too damn many of us living here! Well of course The Avengers being The Avengers can’t let that ride, so they try and do everything they can in their power to stop him. And when I say The Avengers, I mean those officially in the troop and those who have never even met Ironman or Captain America.

And this is part of why I liked the film so much; I thought that with this many characters, there’s no way they could give them enough quality screen time without coming up with a convoluted storyline. But as is never the case, I was wrong (kidding of course). Everyone with the exception of Black Panther, Hulk and Vision had their own badass moment in the film. There was Captain America and his Indiana Jones esque intro in the film when he casually dodged a flying axe like he was Leroy Jenkins catching bullets in his teeth in The Last Dragon. And yes, that was a reference to a Blaxploitation karate film from the 80’s; check it out. Ironman was on point with his shit talking as always, Thor got another awesome weapon, Spiderman and Groot both redeemed themselves from their previous films and the women all proved that if given the chance, they could easily carry a solo film of their own. And while Thanos was clearly insane, he presented his points of view with such level headedness that it made his character that much scarier. It was like watching this new version of Kim Jong Un, there’s no way he’s this nice. I keep waiting for him to throw the leader of South Korea into a fiery pit just so he can collect the Nuclear Infinity Stone and blow the rest of the world to bits.

But it was the combination of all of these things; the boldness of Marvel to try something new and dangerous, a villain who wasn’t too over the top, and a slew of awesome action scenes that had you cheering for more. That is, until everyone died! And this is why I loved the film. Come on, you’ve had 18 chances (minus Panther) to walk out of a Marvel film without being challenged in any way, shape, or form; you can handle one film that makes you uncomfortable. And it’s because of this that I give Infinity War a rating of TIGHT!