Ready Player One

As I celebrated my 86th birthday this week, I had the opportunity to reflect on some of the better birthday celebrations I had when I was still a bright eyed and hopeful youth; the best of which was a fish fry my dad threw for me in his best friend’s epic backyard. I’m from a small town where there wasn’t much to do, so fish fries were a big deal; they gave everyone the chance to unwind from a long week, catch up with old friends, gaze at the stars, listen to some of the best artists RnB and Jazz (at least for my family) had to offer, and of course drink all of the Bud Light, Budweiser, and Crown Royal the local market had to offer. I mean, if I were old enough, I definitely might’ve impregnated someone that night but at that time my game was pretty weak, so sadly I was dateless at my own party. All I could do was enjoy the family and friends who gathered there and temporarily forget the fact that I lived in country Texas.

And this is why I think Ready Player One is even more of a fantasy than the writers intended it to be. Again, I was in a small town and this was 70 years ago, so this was well before the days of virtual reality. In order to escape my daily misery, I had to rely on ghetto VR which consisted of me day dreaming about hitting the game winning shot in the Final Four and then banging every woman from the James Bond movies as a reward afterwards. And trust me, I can feel your judgement as I write this but I think I deserve some credit for not turning into a Children of the Corn psychopath who stored bodies in his closet just before running off to get some late night Taco Cabana. Victoria was that awful of a place.

The point is, if Ready Player One was a nonfiction story, it would’ve been the most boring movie ever made because all teenage boys care about is Pikachu and getting laid. You seriously would’ve had 2400 hours of footage that focused solely on some dude chasing a yellow looking doll around a park while finishing way too quickly once a girl sticks her hands down his pants. I guess there’s the off chance that he’s an early developing Furry and you see Pikachu sticking its hands down his pants but that’s seriously the best you can hope for.

Well thankfully they decided to go the route of fiction and gave us the story of Wade, a kid who lives in a depressing version of our future where the only escape from the poverty and awful living conditions is the virtual reality world called Oasis; a place that was created by the genius programmer, Halliday. Halliday loved 80’s and early 90’s pop culture and most of his VR world featured some of most iconic things from those eras. It was such a great escape that literally everyone played his game, especially after he made the announcement that whoever found his three hidden Easter eggs would not only inherit his fortune but would have control over the Oasis.

Wade and his best friend Aech are two of the remaining few who continue to try and solve Halliday’s tricky puzzles. And in the process, Wade falls for the mysterious Art3mis, another gamer who has a shared hatred for the big corporation that’s trying to not only win the game but also have even more control of this dystopian society. Will they find the eggs before the corporation does? Can Wade even trust Art3mis? And is his friend Aech hiding the fact that he’s really a Furry who’s trying to lure him into his dark underworld? These are all things you must find out on your own.

But in the process you’ll have fun doing so because the VR world Halliday has created is so cool. It’s not all about the game; in his world you can literally make all of your dreams come true. Whatever you can imagine is brought to life in his world, so even if you don’t get all of the 20 and 30 year old references, the visuals in this movie alone will keep you engaged. Not to mention the fact that the challenges Halliday requires you to pass before you find each egg are fun; the first of which was the most exciting of the film. It’s a race that you must win, which sounds easy enough, except for the simple fact that no one has ever been able to actually finish the race. You not only have to fight off your opponent but the tons of obstacles that are thrown in your way, like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park or King Kong who basically destroys the entire race track. And it’s in this race that you see the bulk of the pop culture references Halliday implements, 70% of which are all from Spielberg movies; the same guy who directed Ready Player One. I personally thought that if he were really fresh, Spielberg would have also included a few nods to some of his depressing films like Schindler’s List or The Color Purple. You too can have sex with Whoopi Goldberg or mow down Nazis while trying to free people from a concentration camp. Admit it, you were expecting a more offensive joke than that, weren’t you? Come on, I’m not a monster!

Anyway, even without those additions, this movie was highly entertaining and I strongly suggest that you go see it in the theater. I give Ready Player One a rating of FRESH!