But what really stood out about her story was the fact that he actually got in touch with another one of her friends and somehow convinced the poor girl to let him have hip sex with her. What is hip sex you ask? It’s basically DeGraw raw dogging if you will, her hip until he came. Gross, you say? Well that’s not all. What’s really interesting is the fact that he actually preferred doing this versus that of having normal sex as she allowed him to do this to her on multiple occasions! I guess this is better than Old Dirty Bastards’ approach to safe sex. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’ll let you Google it and find out for yourself.
Anyway, I’m sure you’re asking yourself, what’s the point of this odd story? Well the point is, I cannot wait until it’s time for ACL this year, simply for the fact that I will get to see how many girls will be waiting backstage to let Champagne Papi aka Drake have unprotected hip sex with them. I’m sure there will be a line out the door of lovely young ladies just itching to be dry humped by Canada’s finest! And who knows, they may even have to show off their hip sex skills to the doorman before he allows them back stage to chase their dreams. And yes, just in case you haven’t caught on yet, I really just wanted to see how many times I could type the phrase hip sex in one article before someone took notice. But moving on…
Outside of the main headliners, there really isn’t much to be excited about on day two of this festival as it’s clearly the weakest of the three. But if you happen to only have a day pass and you plan on getting there early, I suggest skipping the band Waters who comes on at noon. The only thing these poor saps have going for them is the fact that they bring a ton of energy to the stage. But you should know going in, that this will basically be the equivalent of watching a Telletubbies show for adolescents, so I’d suggest looking for entertainment elsewhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHcID_3qIps
So as an alternative to seeing Waters, I would suggest checking out the band In the Valley Below instead. They are the quintessential daytime ACL act as they are an indie pop outfit whose music won’t require too much movement from you that early in the morning. Their music isn’t that great but they do have decent harmonies and a cute goth girl, so that alone should make them worthy of a quick pop in. They also play at noon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4zbFEHZbOU
Next up at 12:45 are The Levites. This multi-talented gospel group incorporates elements of Funk and Creole Jazz in their show and they also have the unique ability to make you want to move to music you never thought you’d dance to in your life. Every single one of them has the vocal chops necessary to tour on their own if they wanted to but they humbly choose to work together to bring you a sound that will have you shouting for more. (Full disclosure-I am personal friends with quite a few of them and have worked with them in the past, so take that for what it’s worth).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly7WhXeaNTk
Next up is Charlotte OC. She is a breathtakingly beautiful singer whose voice immediately draws you into her music; so much so that she that could be singing about something as mundane as eating Skittles and you wouldn’t even care. Her clever choice of the piano and drums as her supporting instruments, versus that of the tired and overused acoustic guitar, really helps with the overall effect of her songs. And it turns what would normally be a lost in the shuffle artist into a memorable standout. She comes on at 1:30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vEzi3AAg3o
After her, it’s time for you to get your hip hop started for the day in the form of Vince Staples. Now for some reason he’s been getting a ton of credit for being the first rap artist to ever accurately depict what’s happening to him in the hood; I guess these people have never heard an Ice Cube or Tupac song before. But none of this errant hype is actually Staples’ fault; he, through the use of tight, bass heavy, and stripped down beats, forces you to solely focus in on his grimy rhymes and vivid storytelling. And he’s able to do all of this while still making you nod your head to his West Coast sound. That’s fairly impressive considering the fact most of his material is pretty depressing. Expect to see one or two white girls trying their best to twerk to his music as they prepare themselves for some possible hip sex later on in the night. He comes on at 2:30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJLfCBBcZAo
Now if Vince is a little too hard for you, then I suggest you mosey on over and check out the band So Cal instead as this will be the perfect time for a little family bonding with you and your loved ones. They make the kind of music your goofy parents danced to in the late 80’s. It’s full of guitars and light synths, so you may want to pack your androgynous clothes and makeup for this show. They also get on at 2:30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZQdZCVuy2E
I have to say that I like all of one Father John Misty song and that just so happens to be Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings. If he promised me that he’d play just that one song and get off stage, I’d go, but since he probably won’t do that, I think I’ll pass. I’m not much of a fan of Rockabilly indie music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtOToiIDNRA
I’m also not a big fan of Folk or anything that even resembles country, so I’ll be skipping everything this afternoon until Unknown Mortal Orchestra comes on. But people do seem love Shakey Graves and Houndmouth, so give them a shot if you’re looking for something to do besides watching college football. There’s also Sturgill Simpson and 21 Pilots (pop emo) playing right after them, but again I’ll pass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3jk3pflofk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8wifV5RYr8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gBV-Nzq7Pg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nky4me4NP70
Unknown Mortal Orchestra is a weird psychedelic indie dance band who has somehow managed to stretch out their 15 minutes of fame longer than I ever thought was possible for them. I’ll give them credit for having a sound I’ve never really heard before, but the problem with them is that you’re tired of it after about 20-30 minutes. They come on at 5:30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEtDVy55shI
Now clearly you should be gearing up for Pretty Flacko aka A$ap Rocky at this point to hear a little L$D and PMW but I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped by to hear the Alabama Shakes perform their new album first. They have evolved well beyond the simple country band with an awesome soul singing Black woman for their front man. They now have a more versatile sound and at times remind you of the live acts you heard from the Motown era. And yes, just in case you were wondering, they even have back-up singers to boot. Both come on at 6:30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEG2VTHS9yg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-5OX7CO26c
And after this, it’s clearly TV on the Radio and Drake…duh! Ok one last rock star and groupie story for the road. This girl my buddy was sort of dating at the time, gave her number to A$ap Rocky during SXSW this year. He sent her a text one night that said "Hey! What’s up! It’s Flacko!" She replied "What’s Flacko?" He responded "NM" The end. Let that be a lesson ladies, bone up on your hip hop aliases. Enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaKVy-FlaUA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2bBZvSPpOo
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