The first time they rolled out a Spiderman trilogy it started out ok but by the time we reached the third one we were stuck with a stoned James Franco, an annoying Topher Grace, and cheesy dance numbers with lip syncing. Thankfully Hollywood realized how awful things had become and decided to reboot the franchise with new actors and a new feel. The first Amazing Spiderman was entertaining enough but it looks like we are headed down the path of destruction again with this second installment.
This movie starts off at Peter and Gwen's graduation ceremony, of which Peter is late to because he is tracking down these random bad guys who are trying to steal Plutonium (I believe). I mention this because its one of only three action scenes in this entire two hour movie. Once Spidey saves the day and arrives just in time to receive his diploma, he starts to feel guilty that he is still with Gwen. Digital Dennis Leary keeps popping up in his head, as does the promise he made to him to stay away from his daughter so she's not hurt by his being the webbed hero. So instead of providing us with more awesome action scenes, we get 90 minutes of Meet Joe Black. Should we be together or shouldn't we? On top of that Peter has to deal with the fact that his best friend from childhood has inherited a deadly disease from his father and he is hell bent on getting Spiderman's blood because he is certain that it will save his life. Oh and he is still dealing with his parents deserting him as well as a new enemy in the form of a former nobody geek in Max (Jamie Foxx).
That's a lot to deal with in a two hour period and the writers don't do us any favors by glossing over any of these story lines. They deal with the Gwen situation in the cheesiest way possible by throwing on what sounds like a U2 C side while they are at a carnival and giving each other the lamest compliments ever. Also for some reason when Max is attacked by these evil eels and turns into Electro, he has his own theme music that sounds like a scrubbier version of My Chemical Romance screaming "I hate Spiderman, you lied to me Spiderman". Which under normal circumstances would be ok if he was flying around or something while they played it, but they play it during the middle of a dialogue between him and Spidey and its just very distracting. If they were going to give him theme music, they could've at least been clever and used a play on words. I mean its Jamie Foxx, just have him rap License to Eel or something. Yes, yes I know that was awful but I laughed for like 30 minutes at that joke last night, so I had to print it.
And then they had the ultimate joke at their disposal and never used it. Peter's best friend Harry Osborn has a secretary who is white and they named her Felicia for some reason! So naturally I'm expecting the "bye Felicia" joke to pop up at any time! No! Noooo! All we got was a "Thanks for your help Felicia". What????? Awful!
It's not that the acting was bad or anything; everyone did a fairly decent job in it. And the three action scenes they did have were pretty damn cool. It's just that a superhero movie should have more than three freaking action scenes; especially when you have villains as cool as Electro and the Green Goblin. The rest of the time you are bored to the brink of death!
I rate this movie as really WEAK and suggest that you avoid it. Have a lovely evening Felicia!
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