Godzilla

You know that girl or that guy you used to hookup with that you thought was really fun and had great sex with? But for some reason it's been a really long time since you've talked to or seen them so you think it's a great idea to reach out to them because you're going through a bit of a drought? And right before you are about to see them, you start getting really excited and you build them up to be bigger than they ever actually were? And it's only mid sex that you start to remember that this person was really just someone that made you laugh every now and then but in reality was kind of wack and that's the reason why you lost contact with them? Sorry for super long question but that's the perfect description of Godzilla!

Everyone remembers the old school Godzilla movies, they were both cheesy and badass at the same time but in the end they were just movies about a giant beast tearing shit up. But for some reason I forgot that and got really excited for the reboot thinking that it was going to be this mind melting event that would change my viewpoint on what movies should be like; similar to what The Matrix did. It wasn't until mid movie that I realized that I didn't need this big scientific breakdown behind it, I just really wanted to see Godzilla tear shit up! Sadly there just wasn't enough of that in it, but just like sex with the old flame, you have to finish it!

Going into it I was really excited over the fact that they got Gareth Edwards to direct this latest chapter of the giant lizard. If you had seen he previous movie Monsters, then you'd know that he was able to do some pretty amazing stuff with giant creatures on a low budget by simply using shadows and suspense to scare you senseless. So I figured that he would use the same strategy here and not risk the possibility of having the creatures look lame by solely relying on CGI. But for the most part he didn't; you actually see Godzilla and the MUTA's (or MOTA I cant remember) that he's fighting. And that was my issue, if you actually have decent CGI, then use it and have them tear things up on a giant scale like the Emmerich brothers do in every one of their terrible movies!

Instead we get an hour of Walter White aka Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) shouting about conspiracy theories and his son Kick-Ass (Taylor-Johnson) trying to forget his mother's death; which happened in an accident at the plant where a MUTA originally attacked. Keep in mind that once the film is over, you realize that neither character was really relevant to the story and we could've been just fine without ever meeting them, but I guess they have to sell this to US audiences somehow. I will say that the one part of the science that was cool was the fact that the MUTAs, who feed on radiation, had the ability to emit EMP's, shutting everything down in its wake. And it was also cool that these MUTAs were basically prey for Godzilla. And that's basically the story, Godzilla chasing down prey while humans chase them around.

Once Edwards finally said screw it and let them fight, that's when I woke up and started to enjoy the movie. I don't feel good about giving it this rating but I did enjoy the movie, so it gets a rating of barely FRESH! Enjoy and stay away from that wack ex, you've been warned.

My friend will go Bethzilla on me, if I don't mention her nickname in this review. And I have to admit that this dumb nickname did make me chuckle once or twice in the movie.