The Best of SXSW

Is there a reason that I am 73 years old and still single? Yes, it's because only I can see a blond bombshell standing by herself and rocking out to the latest reincarnation of Jon B in Sam Smith at Fader Fort and lack the balls to go up and actually talk to her. Anyone who comes across this girl would be stupid not to ask her to marry them on the spot! Well wouldn't you know it, I ran into her the very next day at the secret Soundgarden show on a rooftop and this time I actually had the balls to talk to her. I even made her laugh and clued her into a new artist she might like based off of her musical preferences. But in typical fashion, as I was waiting in line for the port-a-pot, I let some college girl convince me that I looked hot in this over sized flat billed cap that she threw on my head. Well needless to say, once Jessica Rabbit saw me in this thing, she threw herself off the ledge of the building in horror. Ok, well she didn't actually do that but you could tell that she was disgusted by the fact that she even wasted 10 minutes of her time talking to me. Perhaps I'm the one who should have thrown himself off the ledge that night! Anyway, if you happen to watch Directv's airing of the Soundgarden Guitar Sessions, just look for the idiot who looks like he's 12 years old because he's wearing an over sized black cap and absolutely losing his mind over the fact that Chris Cornell is 10 feet in front of him. Also, I'm sure Jessica Rabbit is somewhere standing near me calling the cops. Oh well, on to the acts.

Even though they played what seemed like 12 shows over a week and a half, I was only able to see Perfect Pussy once and that was at Stubb's. The second they got on stage, Meredith Graves (lead vocalist) said into the mic "Hi! We're Perfect Pussy and we're terrified!" You could tell that this was probably the largest venue they had played to date and their sound isn't really suited for that kind of a stage but man, you certainly couldn't tell that they were scared. Song after song their organized noise ripped through the crowd while Meredith yelled punk lyrics like "I am not innocent, I am dangerous" or "I am full of rage! I am full of peace!" Now most of the crowd that was there to see Damon Albarn had no clue how to handle what they were experiencing but there were a few of us that were dancing like madmen. At one point after Meredith yelled "I couldn't afford a new dress but fuck it, what does it matter anyway" my friend turned to me and asked what in the world was going on (in reference to what she was witnessing) and I replied "I'm not quite sure either but I like it!" Perfect Pussy is FRESH!

Right after they got off the stage, the Eagulls were up next. I actually previewed these guys last year but never saw them because I thought their sound was too inconsistent and that they would flame out rather quickly as a result of it. Plus it didn't help that my friend constantly reminded me that their name was following the recent stupid hipster trend of misspelling words for their band name. Well I convinced her that she should give them a shot anyway and the second they opened their mouths with their thick British accents to introduce themselves, my British groupie friend instantly fell in love. The lead has the stage presence of slightly less gay Morrissey while at the same time channeling INXS' Michael Hutchence. And the rest of the band keeps you dancing with their soaring distorted guitar riffs that reminds you of the harder 80's pop groups; if such a thing ever existed. I love this band and expect them to play the early slots of the big festivals this year. These guys are definitely FRESH!

The best show I saw this year easily belongs to Sohn. Thankfully I missed his abbreviated set the night before due to his band's traveling issues but on this night he seemed revved up to put on a proper show for his fans. I had to just woken up from my disco nap so I was re-energized myself, and apparently I wasn't the only one who needed a pick me up as I heard people openly asking for cocaine and Adderall in the venue. Yes, we had officially reached THAT point of SXSW. Anyway, this setting was perfect for Sohn's show as it was the night after the tragic drunk driving incident occurred and it was in the same venue that shut down earlier in the day due to the fact that it's employees had to witness the horrific events. Cheer Up Charlie's natural rock background with it's mutli colored lighting provided the best backdrop possible for Sohn's soulful electronic indie sound. He takes his time in sound check and the once he starts up, you can tell why. Everything synced up masterfully and you could see the entire venue nodding their heads and dancing in approval as he reeled you in with his confidence and beautiful voice. I'm really surprised  I didn't impregnate someone on the spot because it felt like everything kind of went back to normal and the festival was once again about the music and enjoying the spirit of SXSW. Do yourself a favor and get into this guy's music. I have elevated him to TIGHT!.

Next up is Ratking, a breath of fresh air out of NYC. They bring a punk like style to the hip hop game with their socially conscious and angry lyrics but at the same time they have the ability to channel De La Soul's laid back almost funk signature. Even though I was disappointed the lead didn't make himself bleed this time by repeatedly hitting himself in the head with the mic, he still brought his crazy energy and razor sharp lyrics to help balance his counterpart's laid back flow and singing. This is exactly what the nerds in the crowd were thirsty for as this show took place during the Interactive portion of SXSW. Definitely give these guys a listen as I rate them as FRESH!

Honorable mention goes to Schoolboy Q and his performance at the Spin party. For some reason they put him on a small stage, and when he came out and saw how little room he had available to move around, he wasn't all that pleased but that certainly didn't stop him from giving his all. He first made all of the real Q fans come up front and all the casual onlookers move to the back as his ripped through Collard Greens (yes, he did do Kendrick's verse, even the Spanish) and There He Go. The crowd was unbelievably hype and they knew every one of the words to his songs, I guess that's what having your album debut at #1 will do for you. Something that he was certainly proud of and something that added even more fuel to his ego. The best part of the show probably belonged to his 10 foot tall, 480 lb bodyguard who looked like he had been lifting weights in his front yard for the past 30 years. He looked fresh out of jail and was clearly waiting for someone to slip up so he could murder them on the spot. Some poor white kid was trying to shake Q's hand and if Q hadn't consented, after yelling no homo of course, the black Andre the Giant was there to pounce. I also have to give Q props for not caring about going over his time limit and rapping until they cut his sound off. He finally ended the show by attempting a stage dive at the end but he forgot that he's not Kendrick, he weighs about 250 lbs and the skinny white hipster kids couldn't quite hold him up. I rate Schoolboy Q as kind of FRESH and suggest you pop in.

Anyway, that about wraps it up. Thanks to Drenge for making me deaf in one ear and if you see Jessica Rabbit out there, please apologize for me and ask her to give me a second chance!