Homefront

I’m not sure why I have the audacity to think that Black mainstream movies are actually beneath me…oh wait, that’s because they are!!! Don’t get me wrong, New Jack City, Boyz in da Hood, Mo’ Money, and Juice were all tight but it seems like ever since Don’t Be A Menace While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood came out, it was all downhill from there. Once the Wayans proved that you don’t actually have to try to make money in the film industry, every Black film maker or writer hopped on board with this idea. Look at Tyler Perry! I could write a 50 page dissertation on how Perry is single handedly killing Black films, Black actors, and Black people with his stupid movies, plays, and face.

My mom and brother tried to make me watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman once and I stormed out of the room within 30 minutes of witnessing that travesty. If they weren’t my family I would’ve thrown on some baby powder and pimp slapped them both. But looking back, I could tell that they didn’t even really like it that much themselves; they just simply felt the need to watch it because Black people were on screen. It’s not the 70’s anymore where movies like Car Wash and Cooley High were must see pictures because you NEVER saw Black people on camera unless they were serving Ms O'hara. In today's time, we are all over the place but we still feel the need to settle for trash. Just today I walked by and heard some woman talking about how awesome Best Man Holiday was. Ugh, why not just euthanize yourself already and get it over with! I guess we all have to have our guilty pleasures though and mine just happens to be short balding actors in tough guy action movies! It doesn’t matter if it’s Wesley Snipes, Sly Stallone, or my latest favorite, Jason Statham on screen, either way I'll be in the mix. So yes, there I was this holiday weekend spending my much needed free time watching Homefront.

I know it looked it hokey, especially with James Franco sporting a terrible Southern accent but I couldn’t help myself. Even watching the Franco clearly mailing it in so he could collect a check for his latest “art project” is better than watching Ice Age 8 or whatever stupid kids film came out this weekend. Plus it had Winona Ryder in it and I’ve had a crush on her since the 90’s. I figured that since she’s struggling to get roles, she’d do what every other aging actress does for attention these days and that’s get naked on camera. While she didn’t quite do that, she did have a rather forced doggy style sex scene with Franco that was so awkward, I’m sure they had to do it in 20 takes because the two of them kept laughing so hard. Oh well, I still enjoyed it, sort of.

The movie starts out showing Statham rocking terrible hair extensions while working undercover to infiltrate this motorcycle gang that was dealing meth. Once it’s time for the bust however, things get crazy and the gang leader’s son is killed in the raid. He vows to get revenge on Statham who was clearly done with the pressure of the undercover game at that point. So the movie flashes forward some time after this incident and you see him living with his daughter in a sleepy town outside of New Orleans. His daughter gets in a fight with the local bully and ends up kicking his butt. Well in small towns, people have nothing better to do than hold grudges and the bully’s parents are hell bent on getting revenge. So they convince their brother Franco, who is the town’s badass and local meth dealer to scare Statham a bit. In the process, he finds out who Statham used to be and sees an opportunity to use this for his advantage. Things escalate and the next thing you know, you have multiple gun fights and explosions happening. The problem is, there just isn’t enough of this.

Stallone, who wrote the screenplay, tries a bit too hard to make this a legitimate movie when all he had to do was fill it with bad one liners and exploding heads. So there are one too many moments that kind of drag on. Just like with The Walking Dead, save the dramatic moments for people who can actually act. I will say that Kate Bosworth once again excels at playing white trash; I’m beginning to think that she isn’t acting. She was also wonderful in Wonderland with Val Kilmer. Statham is his usual bad to the bone self with his death stares and casual ass kicking fighting style. His daughter is only slightly annoying at times and you actually hope that he keeps her safe as the bad guys don’t care who hurt or kill that get in their way.

I want to give this movie a rating of fresh but I simply cant. Instead it gets a rating of WEAK but I certainly would frown if you decided to go check it out. I mean, I did finally break down and see Think Like a Man and kind of liked it, mainly because Kevin Hart was hilarious; the rest of it was trash.