Austin City Limits Day 3

Last night I attended my first high school football game since…well…I was in high school! And in Texas this overbearing football father thing is for real! I swear I heard a kid yell from the field in full Texas twang “I don’t want yo life!” Dammit! Why can't I date a girl that's willing to cover her body in whip cream??? This would've completed my night! Well thankfully I could ignore most of the drama that was happening around me as I was mainly there for the halftime show to see the bands play; you never know which of these band nerds will be the next up and coming artist at SXSW! Talk about getting your research in early! Plus I’m fairly certain one of these kids might actually be mine, so we’ll just call it, me getting in some much needed father/son or daughter time.

I’m also pretty sure that ACL artist Bear Mountain is a product of this high school band culture, and yes if you are keeping score at home, they are yet another act with the word bear in it’s name! They come on at 11:15 and are a decent starter band that utilizes synths and drums along with the lead singer’s high pitched voice to create a mix a of 80’s soul and pop music in an attempt to get you dancing. If nothing else, you’ll at least see the girl that’s still drunk from last night dancing off beat to them; and that’s always good for a laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y14pjkXDKQ

Around noon, scoot on over to see Kristin Diable and The City if you wish to sit and ease your way into the day by listening to some good music. Simply put, she has an amazing voice; the kind that you want to hear singing right before and immediately after you lose your virginity. It’s both sexy and powerful, and honestly she could sing about Cheerios and you’d think it was the best thing you’d ever heard in your life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAnMwcU88OM

***D'Angelo has backed out since this was written but you still need knowledge***

All of this to this point is way too early for me but my advice for you is to grab some lunch until 3:30 when you will see the comeback of D’Angelo. He was sadly linked to the  Neo-Soul label back in the 90’s but in reality, if it weren’t for his battle with alcoholism, he might’ve been the next Al Green. When he came on the scene, RnB had basically blended into and became hip hop, so yes his music actually acted as sort of a rebirth of soul but it was a bit bigger than that. He wasn’t simply recreating what he grew up listening to, he was evolving it.  Everyone immediately rushed to call him the next Marvin but Marvin got really socially conscious there for a while and D’Angelo (much like Al) always kept it sexy and all about the ladies. Even when he was really singing about herb like he did in the song Brown Sugar, ladies still went crazy because they thought he was singing to them..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtZWO3HgRdA

Hopefully he doesn’t do what most soul acts do at these festivals and that’s to try and “rock” it up a bit by having unnecessary guitar solos. There will be plenty of that from the other shows, so please give us what we want, music that will make our girlfriend’s panties drop. And he certainly can do that but hopefully when this happens our girls will be in the room with us and not him!

Next up is Franz Ferdinand, the indie wonders of 2003 whose hit Take Me Out had MTV falling in love. That song is great but I feel like this band was similar to the Strokes, in that we were just happy to hear any kind of music that had guitars in it again. So we instantly fell in love with whoever provided that for us and at the same time was able inspire us to move. I think I will pass on Austin’s wet dream of the Handsome Furs and Spoon collaboration in the way of the Divine Fits. Well, ok, I like wet dreams so I’ll probably pop in for the last part of their set. Their music is groovy pop rock and their song Would That Not Be Nice is their best effort.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=los6obvBbqU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NqbhygoDSA

Toro y Moi’s music sounds like it would be fun to dance to live but when you’re actually there it just falls kind of flat, so I will be passing on that short little guy in favor of The National. They are the exact opposite of Toro in that their recorded material sounds pretty boring; and the fact that Matt has a baritone voice doesn’t help matters either. You would typically associate this kind of music with a glass of warm milk, something that you would use to help you fall asleep. But something happens when they take the stage, these musicians (and they are just that) remember what it’s like to rock out! This will definitely be one of the better shows of the day, so dont miss it. If you are not familiar with them, check out Mistaken for Strangers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGmfOsdla2Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHaln2drAdc

Tame Impala is a band that adds a refreshing surfer rock element to the traditional psychedelic music that you are used to hearing. Their song Elephant is a direct rip from Deep Purple and The Beatles but it’s a fun song. Solitude is Bliss and Mind Mischief are more progressive songs that help set them apart from the typical tie dyes that sway around while plucking guitar strings. I would head on over to the Atoms for Peace stage after a while because even though these guys are good, psychedelic music eventually all sounds the same.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wycjnCCgUes

Now I won’t waste your time debating who you should see out of Phoenix, Atoms, or Lionel Richie but just know that you can’t go wrong with any of them. Phoenix and their French pop music, which I’m sure you’ve heard in at least 3 indie films recently, can be fun. And who knows, maybe Daft Punk will join them on stage again like they did in New York! What’s a festival without a Daft Punk rumor? Atoms for Peace is a Thom Yorke and Nigel Goodrich(producer) side project and I am sure that they will play some songs off of Thom’s first solo project as well. And maybe another member of Radiohead might join them on stage for a quick acoustic version of one of their songs. Clearly I’m reaching here but whatever this is fun! I’ll pop in Lionel’s final 30 minutes in the hopes of hearing All Night Long and possibly hooking up with that daughter of his that looks like a chipmunk!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PB94FfYc3yM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpVfF4U75B8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyQVjGdJ60g

Enjoy everyone, enjoy!

Prisoners

I hope that on the day that I finally decide to have children, I will still be able to watch any movie I want to.  I am not talking about having the time to watch them, because I am smart enough to know that on this day my life will forever be over and I will have zero time for myself. But I am talking about actually having the stomach to sit through some of the trippy movies I currently see, once the kid graduates and leaves the house that is. Apparently my buddy who has a 3 year daughter can no longer watch any movie that involves child abduction, child abuse, or even children zombies! And keep in mind this dude more than likely owns the director’s cut of Human Centipede, so as you can see he watches and loves despicable movies. Not to mention the fact that he’s probably seen Labyrinth about a thousand times and considering the outfits David Bowie was wearing around a very young Jennifer Connelly in that movie, that alone should put my friend on someone’s watch list! The point is, I just can’t imagine a world where I am no longer able to sit through The Big Lebowski where I laugh at Walter warning The Dude about the new local pederast who just joined their bowling league. “…and pull the trigger until it goes CLICK!”

As I was telling him about the new movie Prisoners, he cut me off before I could even get a word in. “No way I’m seeing that movie dude!” To his credit, this movie has messed with me for days and I am just now able to write about it. The trailer makes it look like it's only a slightly creepier version of the terrible CBS drama Without a Trace, but it is a far cry from the typical child abduction movie that you are used to seeing. The overall premise is fairly familiar; Hugh Jackman and his family join Terrance Howard and his for a Thanksgiving dinner. After dinner, their two younger daughters ask if they can go outside and play. The family thinks nothing of it because they live in a rather small rural town and in a neighborhood where everyone knows one another. However earlier when their older siblings where with them, they noticed a creepy RV parked on the road and warned the girls not to play around it. Well after some time, the girls don’t come back home and the manhunt is on for the person or persons that took them.

The local detective Loki (Gyllenhaal), who has never had an unresolved abduction case, immediately tracks down the RV to find Alex (Paul Dano); who turns out to be an adult with the IQ of a small toddler. After a lengthy interrogation, he concludes that there is no way he could’ve kidnapped their girls and lets him go. Keller (Jackman) can’t let go of his belief that Alex is guilty, especially based off of something Alex whispered to him as he was being released, so he decides to take matters into his own hands and kidnaps Alex.

This movie tugs at both your emotions and your morals in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Is it ok what Keller is doing? At what point is he taking it too far? Wouldn’t you do anything humanly conceivable to get your daughter back? In the meantime, the director Denis Villeneuve introduces you to some of the creepiest characters you will ever meet. His impeccable use of the stale, cold, and grimy set design helps to create this sense of impending doom.  With each old house and each dark basement the characters enter, you can’t help but be in edge. The second I got home, I turned on every light I have in my apartment!

 Even though he’s basically a child, Paul Dano with his subtle use of mannerisms, facial expressions, and an almost hunchback posture turns Alex into one of the most interesting villains I’ve seen on screen in a long time. He absolutely owns this role and has carved out a nice little career for himself even if it is playing creeps in every movie. I love Jake Gyllenhaal, mainly because of Donnie Darko, but he normally just plays slight variations of Donnie. Not in this film.  At first he comes off as kind of dick but as the movie continues you can tell that he’s just trying not to get too close to the parents just in case he’s not able to find the kids, or in case the parents themselves are a part of the kidnapping. You learn that he has personal reasons that motivate him to be as good as he is at his job and as their window of time to find these girls gets smaller and smaller, you see the desperation coming out in every one of his actions.

Hugh Jackman locks up an Oscar nomination with his performance here and every time Viola Davis sets foot on anyone’s set, it seems like she deserves one as well. Just when you think you have this movie figured out, it takes another turn and you realize you have no clue what is going on. I initially wanted to rate this movie as fresh but the more I think about it, it deserves a rating of TIGHT! There are some images that will live you for a while and prepare yourself for a jaw dropping final scene. 

Nylo and Psychic Teens

I think we have finally reached the point that Bill Murray tried to prepare us for when he yelled “Dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!!!” Whenever I wear my fedora out on the town, it never fails, girls and guys automatically assume that I’m gay and try and hook me up with their “cute friend”. Or they assume that I’m a drug dealer and start spitting out slang to me that I’ve only heard on The Wire or in a 2 Chainz song. I of course I have no clue what they want and they walk away very confused but I always end up rapping every line of Whoop That Trick from Hustle and Flow in my head as they leave. Ok, so I only know the hook to that song but I add in my own rhymes which of course are fresh. The point of this is, how does a country boy who wears Steve Urkel glasses get mistaken for Nino Brown? “Am I my brother’s keeper??? CMB!!!” And while we’re at it, how is one the biggest names in hip hop right now from Canada? Well the hits keep on coming with the next big thing from Chicago.

Nylo is a strikingly hot white girl from the windy city that grew up listening to way too much Nsync, Aaliyah, and TLC; so naturally she became an R&B singer as a result of it. Now to her credit, she certainly does sound like she belongs in the game. She even brings a little edge as she’s dropping F bombs while singing about getting drunk and boning dudes; maybe I should’ve added R. Kelly to her list of influences as well. Whenever a girl sings about booze and sex, men turn into little prairie dogs, our heads pop out of the ground and you have our complete attention from that point on! She’s hot and I like her stuff but if she weren’t white, there really wouldn’t be anything to separate her from the rest of the pack. Maybe she should start rocking condoms on her glasses like Left Eye did back in the day. Check out her mix tape (yes, you read that correctly) Indigo Summer; every time I tried to stop listening to it another 808 would drop and I would wind up nodding my head to the beat. I rate her as FRESH!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWGABUEmeqU 

Next up are the Psychic Teens. When it comes to heavy rock, Philly has truly been coming with it lately. The Teens really represent the no nonsense attitudes you get from the people of cheese steak land and also the overall dirtiness of the city. H#te immediately punches you in the face and it just screams for you to basically start your own mosh pit! This is the kind of song that musically makes you think evil is in the air. Other songs like Dose remind you of the dark and heavy Alice in Chains days, which I guess when I think about it, would describe their entire career. The lead has a low monotone voice that Spin compared to Paul Banks from Interpol but it’s not quite that cool. I am not a fan of evil but I am a fan of this band so far. I want to rate them as fresh but I just haven’t heard enough from them at this point to do so, so for now they get a barely WEAK.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwLbhqo_9rM

Austin City Limits Day 2 Preview

Day 2 is usually a late start for me, and quite honestly it’s a late start for most festival goers that have the 3 day pass. This is mainly due to the fact people always sneak out and get a little festival pre party in that Thursday night and maybe even hit up an ACL after show Friday night. But who knows, after hearing the white Keith Sweat the night before, apparently Muse’s Matt Bellamy just moans the entire time on their new album, I might be pumped enough to get started a little earlier than usual Saturday.

If you wake up early enough to get to the park by 11:30, then get yourself a taste of some fun post punk in the form of Austin transplants, Parquet Courts. They deliver exactly what you’d expect to hear from New York City’s underground punk scene, with simple but effective bass lines, and a lead singer who sounds like a weird mix of Max Headroom and Ben Stein. Remember when Stein had his own game show? Quality stuff! Anyway, half of their songs will have you jumping around like the idiot from Everlast and the other half will have you debating whether or not it’s too early to break the seal, but overall they are definitely worth checking out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACj-F63GK_M

I know I’ll sound borderline hipster with this next take but you can definitely count on me avoiding the 2 o’clock Walk the Moon show. Why you ask? Because they sound exactly like every other dancey indie band that has come out in the past 8 years! They have the blueprint for this type of music and they don’t deviate from it at all. It’s like watching yet another reality tv show featuring more people who can’t really sing; similar to yet another music blog with someone who cant really write but um...let's move on.  If you like mind numbing music and simply want to dance, then this is probably for you. Have they come out with So You Think Your Grandkids Can Sing yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDVW81bXo0s

If you’re a girl, then I get your fascination with Haim. It reminds you of when you were in your teens and had sleepovers with your girlfriends where you drooled over boy bands, wore pigtails, and ate weird foods together like ice cream on a cone and blow pops. Oh wait, that stuff really doesn’t happen, does it? No matter, this pop music is heavily influenced by the RnB and Folk artists the girls grew up listening to but this show will only be good for one thing and that is picking up chicks. And that is exactly why I will be there! They are also playing at 2 o’clock.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEwM6ERq0gc

The 2 o’clock slot also offers Electric Guest, they have a hipster lead singer who has a soulful voice which at times sounds a bit like Jamiroquai reincarnated. Musically they also sound like MGMT on a few tracks, which I know sounds great in theory but honestly this music is so different that it could either be one of the more memorable shows of the weekend or just plain boring, leaving you to wonder whatever happened to that cute girl that you met at the Haim show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVSiwMVaKe4

Next up is the band Junip and they remind me of Paul Simon, well that is if someone forced Sir Pauly to play a Moog keyboard in every song. They consist of three Swedes who grew up loving hardcore music (of course they did, they’re Swedes!!!) but now they make more thoughtful music. This is the stereotypical music that you’d expect to hear at ACL, non threatening stuff that will keep the masses calm. But they do an awesome job of blending the keys with Jose’s acoustic guitar to create a sound that will draw you in, so based off of the that I will pop in for about 15 minutes before I need to hear something a bit more energetic.

At which point I’ll roll by and catch about 10 minutes of Delta Rae’s show, who when you hear them singing, they sound like they should be black. Their song Bottom of the River sounds like a song slaves sang after a day in the fields. With that said however, I am not really a fan of their other songs because their musical style southern rock pop music. It’s not really for me but like they said in Coming to America “He can sang! Damn dat boy good!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSaDElz7wSI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bimam2j2gEg

Lissie is really cute and she sings edgy pop music but I’ll pass on her in order to see Silversun Pickups; I’ll need distortion and some energetic rock at this point. Granted every song on their new album is mellow but they will still end up playing old favorites Panic Switch and Well Thought Out Twinkles. This set will be just hard enough to do light head banging and some scrubby moshing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0FAPa7lNss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG8fugqFn9Q

I a bit torn between keeping the rock going and popping in in the Welsh trio Joy Formidable or seeing the innovative Grimes. With Joy, you’re going to get more distortion and a girl wailing on the guitar while adding in her light and pleasant voice over it. With Grimes, you’re getting weird electronic dance music; and no I don’t mean the kind you hear in a club with glow sticks. This is more of a quirky sound that she creates using beat machines, computers, and keyboards while using her voice as an additional instrument. You may end up seeing a few club kids rocking backpacks and suckers along with dirty old men dancing in tank tops but that’s all a part of the fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2BUEzdjfpY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtH68PJIQLE

Kendrick Lamar is quickly becoming the biggest thing in hip hop right now. He just recently put everyone in the game on notice that he is out to destroy them all on wax and in the process take their fans from them. And when you’ve already worked with Dr. Dre on one of your cuts this early in your career, you know you’re on your way. I’ll be checking out the west coast rapper because there is no way I can pass on the one token hip hop act ACL gives us each year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJc0M4CjmNg

After that comes the biggest influence for 90% of the bands that I like. Goth kings (even though they hate that label) The Cure will grace the stage for 2 hours. Hopefully Robert Smith is still fat, still wears white face power (no one can be that naturally pale and not be vegan), and still has his crazy hair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5eKciJisnI

In A World

In a world where men are simple and all it takes is for there to be a shapely woman on screen to get them to shell out ten bucks to go see their work, I fell right in line and trekked out to see Lake Bell’s first movie that she both wrote and directed. If you don’t recognize her name, it’s ok because she’s kind of the “oh yeah…her” girl that pops up in movies, similar to the troll Clint Howard (Ron Howard’s brother). She’s obviously nowhere near as frightening as Howard is, with her exotic facial features and pleasant rack, but she is rather pale and has eyes that are piercing which make you think that she’s always angry. I’m certain that this is what is keeping her from being the lead in most feature films but her talent is undeniable as she was one of the only reasons to watch HBO’s New York version of Entourage, How to Make it In America. Well both her knack for sharp wit and her ability to project drama in the same role are on display in this pleasant surprise of a film.

In A World takes you behind the scenes of Hollywood’s voice over industry; you know, the guy’s voice you hear during the previews of movies or in commercials. Lake Bell plays Carol, the daughter of voice over legend Sam. Sam finally has the opportunity to come from behind the shadow of the industry’s godfather Don LaFontaine (who coined and copyrighted the phrase In A World) due to his recent death but has decided that it time for him to retire and hand over the keys to this male dominated industry to the up and comer Gustav. Meanwhile his daughter is a struggling voice coach who is trying desperately to break into the voice over game but can’t get anyone will take her seriously because women have never done movie trailers. Her father isn’t any help to her because he is too busy caught up in himself and his twenty something year old girlfriend.

Well one day due to being in the right place at the right time, Carol catches a break because Gustav can’t make a gig due to illness. She fills in for him for this small indie film and the studio ends up loving her and recommends her for a few bigger projects. Once word gets out that Carol has taken a gig from Gustav, she finds herself in a fight with not only Gustav but from an unexpected source as well.

First off, what makes this movie so great is that it’s really funny! I found myself laughing out loud quite a few times during this film, especially with every condescending interaction that Carol has with a typical valley girl. Then there’s the fact that she basically stalks foreigners as she follows them around with a tape recorder and “sneakily” records their voices in hopes to get better at her job. She openly makes fun of Eva Longaria in the film, who plays herself btw, and you can’t help but laugh at how weird Hollywood is. Bell also shows you how these odd, hairy, and geeky men get caught up in their own little rich worlds but are somehow able to still pull beautiful women.

I mentioned earlier that she’s also able to also bring a dramatic element to her work. You see this in quite a bit of the film but in particular when it comes to her family. After her dad kicks her out (in a rather funny scene I might add) she has to crash on her sister’s couch, who is going through the motions of her marriage to the lovable Moe (played by Rob Corrdry). Well one day her sister breaks down and responds to one her client’s flirtatious nature and this leads to all of the family’s skeletons coming out of the closet. I wont go into it too much so you to discover most of it on your own but just know that Bell does an excellent job of adding this element without it taking away from the fun of the film.

I rate this movie as FRESH because it really does have something for everyone. Guys can just stare at Bell the entire time and women can swoon over Demetri Martin, who actually isn’t annoying in this film.

 

Austin City Limits Day 1 Preview

With the recent influx of literally 8 million people moving into the Austin area and the fact that there are now condos being built inside of condos almost on a daily basis, I am little reluctant to write a preview for one of the city’s premier music festivals in ACL. I almost wish that they would move it back to early September when it’s still 175 degrees at 8 in morning just so people can leave saying to themselves “Man I really like Austin but it’s too damn hot!” But alas, just like Amanda Bynes, this once cute and charming city is being hit up by pretty much everyone and now you’re left wondering if it's just a bit too dirty to even enter. Well while it’s still fresh, I will get you ready for day one of ACL and here are the main acts I will be checking out on Friday.

I never ever get to the festival before 2 o’clock but thanks to Fidlar playing the Barton Springs stage at noon, I will have to make an exception. If you have never heard of these guys, they are garage punk band from California who sing fun songs about girls and drinking beer. Is there a better way to start off this wonderful weekend? Nothing says old man trying desperately to hold on to his youth like shot gunning beers at noon while wearing a fanny pack! They bring a lot of energy to their shows and are definitely worth the early start to the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbpsfTnZAdg

Next up will be the recent darlings of Great Britain and they are coming in the form of the Savages. Trust me when I say that their performance will melt your face off; not simply because they rock so hard but because it’s a 2 o’clock show, so that means its still going to be fairly hot outside. But keep in mind that scary looking chicks that can rock is always a plus, so it will be worth the sweat. This is dark high energy music that is made specifically for a loud live show and the band consists of girls that remind you of Joan Jett.  They have thumping bass lines, loose fitting silk shirts, and a lead that sounds like Rush’s Geddy Lee. Their shows are meant for a dark setting but I think they’ll bring enough rowdiness to get you going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMeKlGWwJtg

Next up will be Pinback, and the fact that they are on the card makes me believe that ACL must have old people like me who just cant let go of the 90’s. They aren’t your typical grunge band from that era, instead they represent early indie music before skinny jeans and rainbow colored tank tops took over. This however is definitely a daytime drinking act, in that it’s not quite good enough to take your attention away from meeting up with your friends and planning your day but it is good enough to act as background music that will occasionally grab your attention.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Quw7XbaVNSY

The Artic Monkeys have been surprisingly consistent throughout the years. Normally teenage internet sensations who blow up overnight disappear in a cloud of cocaine and Jameson, but not these blokes! The guitar of R U Mine alone should make you pass on Vampire Weekend’s set.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeKlG1Zsbp8

Speaking of, I will certainly pop in on half of Vampire’s set solely based off of their new album. It seems like they have finally grown up a bit and started singing about real life subjects that we can connect with, like love and disappointment. Gone for the most part are the fruity guitars and songs about walking around Ivy League college campuses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mDxcDjg9P4

I think I will choose Purity Ring over Queens of the Stoned Age mainly because their lead singer is cute and after mass amounts of alcohol it’ll be time to start dancing! Lofticries and Bellspeak should have everyone dancing along with this Canadian 80’s synth duo. I love Queen’s Songs for the Deaf album but it’s been quite a while since they’ve rocked out that hard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgKk8Eqyzkk

This last act hurts the most to describe because they are my favorite band. Why does it hurt to write about my favorite band you ask? Well it’s because the band is Muse and I know that they will play a lot of their new album which is garbage! I will admit however that I can’t help but find myself dancing to the catchy Panic Station and rocking out to their Olympic Song, Survival. I will be sure to sneak in liquor this day so I won’t have to pee during their performance because dammit, I’m gonna Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!! Sorry Depeche Mode, maybe next festival.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUAlh6a6en4

Here are two acts that wont make the cut for me but you may want to check them out for yourself. Widowspeak is a 2 piece band from NYC and they make American indie rock music that at times has a southern influence to it. The lead singer Molly sounds like she's a 90’s female grunge vocalist that’s lost in our time. I keep waiting for them to cover Matt Dillon’s song in Singles, Touch Me I’m Dick! Or maybe that was just the title of the wet dream I had about this band, Molly just so happens to be really cute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxaviqSWrlE

The next band would be Pacha Massive and they make bi lingual dance music. They mix Central American music with funky bass lines and danceable drum beats. This is different from most of what you normally hear on the airwaves today and let’s be honest; you really should force yourself to listen to something other than acoustic artist number 5000 at this festival.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOt_eXxbhT8

Brrd and Go Dreamer

Guys have this awful go to statement whenever they are talking about a moderately attractive girl to another guy “Eh. I mean, I’d hit it if I came home at 2 am and it was lying in my bed naked but that’s about it”. When in reality, we all know that unless we are rock, movie, sports, or even porn stars; that this scenario will in all likelihood never actually happen. Well this past Saturday night, I came about as close as I ever will to joining that awesome club which I’m sure includes Robert Downey Jr and quite possibly Bill Cosby . Long story short, I am walking back to my apartment and there is this drunk girl standing in the hallway waiting on her hookup for the night to come out so they can go late night swimming. She sees me and literally starts undressing me with her eyes while we are talking about her night up until this point.  I wont type here exactly what she said but let’s just say that she was looking to upgrade once she met me. Granted this girl was only 2 a.m. hot but lucky for the dude she was waiting on, he happened to walk out right when things were about to get real. And he came out dressed like he was trying everything he could within his power to NOT get laid; sporting bright red shorts and a straw sun hat. “Hey, you ready to go?” She sighed rather loudly and walked off with him.

Thankfully due to my need for sleep, my desire to not become any more self loathing than I already am, and for my overall health, she chose this clown; but I do have to admit that the entire time I kept thinking to myself “Why don’t I have Rza’s My Lovin is Digi on my hookup mix anymore?” Well, here are a few artists that might help you get a girl to go late night swimming with you.

First up is the beat dropper Brrd. He makes short, soulful, and jazzy beats which sound similar to what you’d expect to hear playing in a chic New York restaurant or lounge opening. I know that sounds a bit cheesy but I always picture Erykah Badu listening to this kind of music in her studio while getting inspiration for her amazing albums. Check out his song Freezetag as it is the perfect example of what I’m describing. He also has a lot of religious undertones in his music which adds to his diversity; check out his trippy The Anointing. I haven’t quite heard enough of his stuff for him to deserve this rating but for now he gets a rating of FRESH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jXSJX5bdqE

Next up is Go Dreamer, he’s a rapper/producer out of Atlanta, who I have to give credit to for not being lazy and getting stuck creatively like most of his counterparts do. Most artists today, especially those in the South, don’t build upon the foundation that’s already been laid for them by the pioneers of the game. They’ll simply spend their time trying to recreate the sound and style that typically comes from that region. Dreamer for example, worked with Big Boi on his latest album, but he didn’t leave the studio jacking his style. He keeps things a bit off kilter with his self proclaimed spaced out weirdo style, which he describes on the bass heavy club jam Outta Here. His song She Wanna Be You reminds you of a 90’s hip hop song that you’d hear playing at a house party. All I can see in my head is  KidnPlay doing their stupid dance to this! Electro Phonk is the first I think he tries a little too hard to be different but the song still jams. I will also give him a hesitant rating of FRESH for now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DO85qDjYSU

Riddick

There is good sci-fi that gets a theatrical release and typically includes Keanu Reeves or Bruce Willis, there is bad sci-fi that plays on the Scyfy network and stars Craig T. Nelson, and then there are the Riddick movies which are somewhere in between. There is a reason why the end of August and most of September is chalk full of movies that normally qualify to be straight to video flicks but somehow get a theatrical release anyway. Parents are getting their kids ready to go back to school, fraternities are perfecting their ruffy colada mixtures for the incoming freshmen, football is back, and normal guys are entering the early stages of depression as winter is coming; which means  that girls will be putting their C cups away for at least a few months! Riddick isn’t exactly a straight to video flick but there is no way this movie makes any money going up against a true summer blockbuster or even a movie like Step Up 4D : Oh You Think You can Dance? I won’t lie, if people were allowed to dance while watching a dancing movie, I might pop in on that.

Riddick is the third movie of the franchise that’s centered around a dangerous criminal whose reputation is known throughout the universe. Everyone knows that Riddick is a badass whose special gift of night vision gives him an advantage when he’s fighting fellow criminals, aliens, or even Necromongers. Pitch Black was the first of this trilogy and it introduced you to Riddick (Vin Diesel) and these man eating creatures that only come out at night when the prisoner transport ship he is on crash lands on a mysterious planet. Riddick and the rest of the crew must fight for their lives as they rely on his unique ability but they are never really sure if they can trust him as he is a convicted criminal. The second was a forgettable mess as he somehow finds his way to a planet that’s being invaded by Necromongers and he discovers that their evil plan is to wipe out the entire human race, I think. It’s been 9 years since that disaster but my friend calls it the perfect mind numbing sci-fi flick to watch while you’re hung over. I think I’ll pass.

Well in this version, Riddick doesn’t adjust too well to the new found power that he has from defeating the Necromongers in part 2. And he once again finds himself stuck on the same mysterious planet from the first movie as evil Necromoneger, Karl Urban, tricks his way back into power and betrays him. The first 20 minutes of the movie shows Riddick barely surviving from all of the injuries he sustained while being attacked and isolated, meanwhile he is also struggling to adapt to his familiar yet dangerous surroundings. Well just as he is starting to get things figured out, he notices that the month long eclipse is headed his way and he must find a way off this planet before the man eating creatures reign over the night and overtake him. He finds an abandoned bounty hunter base and sends out a distress signal which results in two crews landing in search for both him and their fat reward for turning him in.

At this point, the movie decides to spend the next hour or so focusing on a male pissing contest. There is a lot of posturing and funny trash talking but sadly not a lot of action. It’s not until the creatures show up when some cool cgi comes into play and you finally get the cheesy but awesome stunts that you paid to see from Diesel. But once again, there simply isn’t enough of it. I liked this movie mainly because I am a sci-fi nerd but even I realized how boring it was at times. I’ve never seen so many people excited about the fact that they had to get up and go pee during the movie. There is some nice random boob action in the film and the dialogue does keep you entertained for the most part but overall I have to rate this movie as WEAK. It hurts to write that but it’s true; wait for it to come on Netflix and get really drunk the night before!

No Age and Ringo Deathstarr

I couldn’t hear for 2 days straight when I was dumb enough to rock out right next to a giant speaker while at a No Age show a few years back. They are notorious for playing a loud set, not quite as loud as My Bloody Valentine, but pretty darn loud I can assure you. And people just stared in awe as my ears literally fell off my head during their closer Sleeper Hold. Ok, so they didn’t really fall off, but I’m fairly certain I lost some equilibrium mid set from all of the noise that was ringing in my head, as my “dancing” immediately turned into swaying right when my body entered into survival mode. Since then I thought I was getting smarter with age but after this Saturday’s show, I’m not so sure.

No Age is currently on a tour where they’re playing random venues in each city they stop in. While in Austin, they played in this underground museum which is hidden somewhere deep in the east side of town; so unless you know a hipster with a monocle and a curly mustache, chances are you’ll never find it. Well lucky for me, I know a hipster or two that fits this description, so I was in the house. Just to give you an idea of the layout, it’s a giant abandoned warehouse that they have turned into a art space. It’s run by these borderline counter culture kids and it’s full of sculptures, videos, and paintings that they have made themselves; some of which are pretty interesting. They have weird live shows that are going on while you can check out their art. The main issue is that there is no central AC in this place, so unless a door is opened, you will instantly be covered in sweat. And that was the scenario this past Saturday.

I missed the first opener Coma in Algiers because I was at a party that paid homage to the poor man’s version of summer wear, jorts! That’s another story for another time but just know that there was free beer. I did however arrive just in time for Austin’s own alternative darlings, Ringo Deathstarr. They were fresh off of a trip from Tel Aviv where on their way back, they were apparently flagged as high risk travelers, and were temporarily detained while security took apart all of their equipment. So they had to deal with faulty instruments as they ripped through their grunge heavy set but thankfully they didn’t miss a beat as they had the crowd moving to Kaleidoscope and Some Kind of Sad, both of which are heavily influenced by Valentine and The Smiths. Right as they were about to play their last song, they asked the crowd if they were ready for No Age; and this led to some moderate yelling. The lead said that he couldn’t really hear us so naturally the hipsters yelled even softer than before, perfectly playing the role of too cool for school. I’ve been to a few too many shows in Austin where everyone is too busy “taking in the artistic experience” to allow themselves to let go and have fun, and sadly this hipster heavy crowd seemed well on their way to making it yet another one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxyYPlv4RVs

No Age however, came right out and after a short sound check went right into two new songs. Now I haven’t actually purchased their recently released new album An Object yet, but I have heard them play some of it live before and it sounded really good. So I wasn’t surprised at all that the crowd responded well to the new material. But what really caused the hipsters to put down their Lone Stars and start a mosh pit was when Dean and Randy destroyed their most popular song Teen Creeps! They immediately followed it up with Every Artist Needs a Tragedy and it was at this point I realized we were in for something special. Despite the unbearable heat in the place, the guys seemed to be enjoying themselves and were feeding off of the crowd’s energy. Quite a few of their new songs required Dean to get from behind the kit and play a guitar alongside Randy, which is a rare treat if you have ever seen them live. They played I Won’t Be Your Generator and No Ground, whose live performances were leaked online by Spin magazine a few weeks ago. But don’t let this throw you, the second Dean returned to the drums, it was vintage No Age.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQAFFgbSY2c

It felt as if we were at a high school party because after about an hour into their set, someone said they had to end it a bit early because the cops were outside trying to shut it down. Now I don’t know if this was actually true or not but everyone ran out to their cars like the INS had just arrived! Given the fact that we were on the east side and there was about 200 hundred of us packed in a warehouse and covered in sweat, it felt as though we were illegal immigrants. Add to the fact that about 20 minutes before then, I forgot for a minute that I’m actually old and I proceeded to jump right into the pit! It wasn’t until I helped catch a kid in mid-air from his stage dive that I realized I was surrounded by all 19 and 20 year olds. And the kid I caught was a guy I met last year at a No Age show on the day of his high school graduation. I also ran into this same kid in the pit of a Japandroids show! What’s it say about my music taste, when everyone at the shows I attend can barely shave? Oh well, rock on No Age, rock on! 

The World's End

When do you reach the point to where living out your Peter Pan fantasy becomes embarrassing for both you and the people around you? Is it when you are wearing knightly surcoats while out on the town with your family or is it when you’re the forty something year old man with gray hair that’s yelling the rap lyric “I got that good kush and that alcohol” to 22 year old girls at a football tailgate? I can’t really clown this guy too hard because at the same party I saw a guy with an Uncle Rico (Napoleon Dynamite) stache and a fake gold chain kicking game to a 22 year old possible stripper, while her much older mother was standing right next to her. Sadly though, this guy was doing work all over the place and seemed to be having success! Maybe it’s not pathetic to do these things. Maybe it’s only sad to those who have already given up on fun and decided to get married and have kids. Well this is a major topic they decide to tackle in what essentially acts as the last installment of a comedy trilogy with the team of Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost. They also brought you Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, which were both packed with action that was both fun and funny, and not in the unintentional way either.

At some point though you fear that this formula will start to get a bit old, and initially it does feel that way as they stumble through the long set up which is full of British comedy. Gary King (Pegg) starts the movie off by telling a group of people the story of how on the last day of high school, he and his mates (see, I’m already turning Brit) decide to take on an epic pub crawl. But due to certain circumstances, they were never able to reach the final pub which was called The World’s End. So he decides to gather the old crew back together again so they can give it another run with the hopes of completing what they started 20 years ago and putting to rest his only regret in life. The problem is, it was 20 years ago and apparently everyone has moved on in life with the exception of Gary who still has the same car from high school and apparently is still wearing the same clothes.

As they are on the crawl, some unresolved issues the gang has with Gary come back up and just when everyone decides to give up and call it quits, Gary finds himself in a fight with what appears to be a robot in human skin. The first fight is pretty ho hum as the whole crew must get involved and it seems like a lame attempt to recreate what they had in Shaun of the Dead. But the second Gary’s best friend Andy (Frost) decides to give up being sober and he starts drinking again, that's when the movie starts to pick up steam.

 Like its predecessors, all of the fight scenes will have you cheering and Edgar Wright (the director) does an excellent job with the cgi. The best part of the film is that as they are trying to figure out what in the world is going on, they continue with the pub crawl, so naturally drunker decisions are being made and it’s taking them longer than it should to figure out what to do.By the time Gary is in the middle of an epic verbal battle with one of the robot leaders, you can tell that the writers clearly didn't care anymore and just went all out! And trust me, that's a good thing. 

It’s really cool to see a lot of the same people that were in the previous two films, pop up in this one. My favorite was the annoying kid from Shaun that worked in the TV and appliance store with Pegg, “You’ve got red on you”. If you blink you’ll miss him but it’s good to see them throw him a bone as I’m sure he hasn’t done anything but local fish and chips commercials since then.

This movie makes you want to move to England so you can have a pint every day for the rest of your life and possibly get in a fight with the local zombies and/ or robots that are trying to take over the Earth. I would definitely suggest seeing this in a movie theater that allows you to drink so you can feel like you’re a part of the crew. I rate this movie as FRESH and am currently in the need of a Boddingtons!